Dear Heart
by electrons
Summary: Sequel to 'Under the Surface' and 'Ticking'. The next old one is here, but she is nothing like her predecessor. Is this better or worse for the fate of the world and will the fang gang be able to handle her manipulations as well as their own issues? Warning: There is torture and adult issues are discussed. Reviews are always appreciated. Brief Hiatus. Returning in May.
1. Uncaged

Angel's jaw dropped. "How?" The demon in front of him gave Angel a wide grin.

"There is so much here. There are so many. Can't you feel them Angelus?"

On a reflex he spoke. "My name is Angel."

"Mine is Es. But you already know that. You know much about me."

"I know that you're dangerous, and that you stole my friend."

"She is not your friend."

Angel bristled at that. "Yes she is."

"She fights by your side. Her love for you is stronger than anything that word could ever hope to mean. She believes in you the way that priests believe in God. She loves you."

Angel felt ill to hear Faith's mind being ripped open and shown for anyone to see by a creature who had no right to look. "Please give her back. We'll do anything you want."

"Why would I agree to that? I don't want to know what you'll do."

"Because you love entropy." Angel recalled

"I do. I love it so. That feeling of not knowing. It is intoxicating. I see every possibility and each one exists for as long as none of them are realized. Oh so many lives one can live."

A part of him understood what she was saying and would be intrigued if not for the very real danger she presented. "Are you going to try to kill me?"

"I cannot try to kill you. I either kill you or I don't. For that reason I won't. We must level the playing field somehow if we are to play. I must hit you with a weapon far weaker than my own power. I must do something that creates more possibilities instead of limiting them."

"How did you get out?" Angel asked

"Oh that is a lovely story."

…

Fred put her hand over her mouth and tried to stop laughing. Being overcome with giggles while having a mouth full of mashed potatoes was not a good combination, but Willow was relentless in the humor of her joke. "So I said, why not add a little eye of newt?"

Fred laughed harder and even Wesley chuckled. "I doubt the warlock was pleased."

"Well no, he wasn't. But he did appreciate the humor of the situation later."

"When he was sitting in a council jail?" Wesley asked

"When I had to explain to the jury what happened to the cat."

Fred was now red with laughter. With great effort she swallowed her potatoes and then gasped for air while her fiancé and her friend looked on in amusement. "At least he didn't have any Murdock root in the potion. The color wouldn't have faded for weeks." Fred said

Willow nodded sagely. "It did wear off in a couple of hours, so there's that."

"Willow why would you leave behind such an exciting life chasing demons and warlocks around South America to come run a school in Japan? Surely this isn't as exciting." Wesley said

"I missed academia." Willow said "Didn't you?"

Fred sighed. "So much. The rigid borders of tests and papers. They make life simpler."

"I must say translating an ancient demonic text is somewhat more relaxing when one's life doesn't hang in the balance and you have time to really dig into the grammar." Wesley said

"But we are saving lives by training the next generation of evil fighters." Willow said

"To us," Fred lifted a wine glass. One wouldn't think that a tiny dining room in a tiny apartment would be anyone's paradise, but Fred couldn't think of anywhere else in the world she wanted to be more as she shared a meal with two of her favorite people. "To our good work."

Wesley clinked his glass against hers. "To the good fight."

Willow raised her own glass. "And all who fight it."

Fred had to swiftly move her glass away from her mouth and cover her lips with her hand to keep wine from spilling out as an unbidden giggle rose in her. "What is it?" Wesley asked

"I'm just really happy." She said

His face transformed into an expression of pure bliss. "I'm so glad."

Willow sighed. "I wish you two would stop flaunting how perfect you are for each other in front of your single friend." But then she smiled to show that she was teasing.

Before either could respond they heard a knock on the door. Wesley looked at the antique clock on the wall and frowned. "Who could that be at this hour?" He wondered

Fred was already on her feet. "I'll get it." Wesley watched Fred open the door and Willow saw all color drain from his face. "Hi," Fred said with a smile "How can I help you?"

Wesley was on his feet and behind her. "Hello father,"

Fred turned around to face him with wide eyes. "This is your father?"

Standing in the doorway of their apartment was the personification of the very ideal of a prim and proper Englishman. "Hello Wesley," The man said in a voice devoid of any emotion

"Wh-what are you doing here?" Wesley asked, still pale

"Are you going to invite me in?" Wesley's father demanded in a scornful tone

"Of-of c-course. Please c-come in."

Fred and Wesley backed away from the door to let Wesley's father in. "I see you have relapsed into that deplorable habit." Wesley's father said "Hardly your most notable failure at the moment however," He scanned the room. "This place is rather small isn't it?"

"Well you know big cities." Willow said from where she was still at the table, feeling horribly awkward "Everything is smaller and more expensive. Especially in Asia, space efficiency is a big thing here." She walked over to the Englishman. "I'm Willow Rosenberg."

Wesley's father stared at her extended hand for a moment with a look of displeasure before taking it with a pained expression. "Roger Wyndam-Pryce, charmed of course."

"I'm Winifred Burkle, I'm sure you've heard of me." Fred offered her own hand and Roger took it with less irritation, but he still didn't seem pleased.

"I must say I haven't."

Fred and Willow both stared at Wesley, a little stunned. Wesley coughed. "Father Ms. Burkle and I are en-engaged. I have been meaning to tell you, but I- um- hadn't yet…"

"Wesley if you can't talk like an adult you needn't speak at all." Roger snapped

Fred and Willow both reflexively backed away from the man. For a few moments there was complete silence in the apartment. Wesley's face was turning red with embarrassment while Roger continued to survey everything with a cold disapproving eye. "Would you like something to eat?" Fred asked, finally breaking the awkward standstill "We were just having dinner."

"A cup of tea would be nice." Roger gave Fred a look she couldn't quite read, but made her uncomfortable none the less. It was equal parts expecting and disapproving.

"I-I'll make tea." Wesley said as he scurried for the kitchen

Left alone with Roger, Fred and Willow felt even more awkward. A casual late-night dinner party between friends and colleagues had turned into a situation Willow in no way wanted to be a part of but she could find no obvious route of escape from either. "Were you a watcher?"

Willow's attempt at small talk was met with a cool expression. "I was."

"I run a school where we train watchers." Willow said "And slayers,"

"I am quite aware of who you are and what you do witch." Roger spoke the word witch as though it were the curse it rhymed with. "I am aware of what your blasphemous spell did and what your slayer friend has made of the legacy of my forefathers. I am also aware that my treacherous son has fallen to a new low in working for a _woman_ such as yourself."

The air thickened with tension. Willow's jaw dropped. Such blatant rudeness from a total stranger stunned her. Willow had been afforded more respect by bitter enemies than Roger Wyndam-Pryce had just shown her. Fred was also stunned, but a bit less surprised. She supposed a man capable of breaking his son's arm for misbehaving was capable of many things. But she still did not intend to simply allow this situation to continue. "Willow is one of the most powerful witches in the world, if not the most powerful." Fred said "The slayer/watcher academy is a great institution and it's an honor to teach there. Wesley and I love living and working here."

Roger stared at Fred as though she were an alien. "I fail to see how your foolish ranting is at all relevant little girl. I also believe that I did not ask you to explain yourself or the witch."

Wesley reentered the room with a cup of tea. "H-here you go father."

Roger sipped the tea and grimaced. "I long for the day when I thought working for a vampire was the worst you could ever come to." Roger said in a tone used for discussing weather

…

"There must be things you wish to ask me vampire." Es said

"What are you going to do next?"

"I decide to do things only as I do them." Es explained

"You love chaos, but you said I was foretold." Angel said

"It was foretold that there would be a vampire who possessed a soul and that around him the reemergence of my kin would be centered. Only he and those who dwelled in his heart could affect the outcome of the coming times. The earth would shake and things that never could be would come about. The nature of things would be questioned. Children would speak hidden truths and creatures without souls will learn to love selflessly. Reality would bend at the will of those who seek power for their grand and minor purposes. What has always been would no longer be and the order of things would reform with him at the center of it. But even though we knew these things we did not have a face nor a name. We did not know how unique a soul the vampire would possess nor did we know what fascinating properties his people would have."

"Now you know." Angel whispered

"I could play with you for such a long time vampire. You never give up, even when it is by far the most logical choice. You are a stranger to reason and logic. You will be my favorite of all the playthings I have ever had, excepting the creature who I wear. She is magnificent."

"Please give her back." Angel begged "Illyria wanted to be out of Wesley, don't you want out of Faith? Please give her back to us. She can entertain you more when autonomous."

"You do not understand vampire, but you will." Then she was gone, probably due to the same time-distortion effect Illyria had used. Angel picked up his phone and prepared to tell his people that the world was ending again and they needed to get to work.

…

Es stood in the catacombs. She ran Faith's hand over the doors to the cells the vampire had filled with people he needed out of the way. She opened the most recently filled. A man fell to his knees when Es turned off the machine keeping him immobile. Lindsey clutched his neck and then looked up with wide eyes. "You-" He coughed. "An old one- I live to serve y-"

Es grabbed him by the shoulders and yanked him to his feet. "No Lindsey, you will not serve me, I will not have it. I do not have servants. You will attack the vampire. It will be done because there are many possibilities to such action. It increases the disorder of the system."

Lindsey's wide eyes narrowed into a scowl. "Angel?"

Es nodded. "You hate him."

"Yes,"

"Then kill him."

"Now?"

"That would be good."

Lindsey hesitated and then departed. Es turned to the next door. The beautiful vampire on the other side smiled when released. "The cage door is open. The beginning has ended."

"The beginning of what Dear Heart?" Es asked

"The beginning of the end, the end of the middle, the middle of the end, the end of all things that ever were or ever will be, all things lie in the beginning, the beginning of fate."

Es's smile grew. "I like you."

…

Wesley flinched as his father sipped his tea and then turned to walk over to the cough and sit down. Roger gave his tea his full attention, ignoring the other people in the room. "Maybe I should go." Willow said "I'll- uh- see you at work tomorrow." Willow touched Fred's hand and gave her a meaningful look that clearly stated Willow was to be contacted at any hour if her help was at all necessary. Fred smiled in acquiescence. "It was nice to meet you." Willow said in a poor imitation of sincerity to Wesley's father "Bye Wes, bye Fred." Willow left the apartment.

"Fred?" Roger questioned

"It's a nickname." Fred explained

"It sounds rather ridiculous on a woman." Roger said nonchalantly

Fred blushed and Wesley looked away. "Why did you say you came Father?"

"I didn't say. I came to confirm the terrible rumor. An old colleague who betrayed the council by falling in with these… people that you work with, who I none the less remain in contact with despite my better judgment, told me you were working for the 'new council' and I had to see for myself that it was true. This is beyond my wildest nightmare however."

Fred stared. How could one man be so full of hate? Fred's wondering was interrupted by a sharp cry from the nursery. Fred headed for the room while Wesley and Roger locked eyes, one wearing an expression of shock, one wearing an expression of guilt. "Is that a baby?"

"Yes," Wesley whispered

"Speak up boy."

"Yes, that's my daughter, Evangeline."

"Your daughter?"

"Yes," This whisper was even softer, but Roger was too furious to call attention to it.

"A daughter that neither I nor your mother was informed existed?!"

Fred reentered the room holding her baby. "What?" She asked

"How old is that child?" Roger demanded

"Eight months," Wesley said, sounding defeated

…

Angel threw Gunn against the wall. "What did you do?!" Angel held Gunn in place by clutching Gunn's shirt, murder in his eyes. "What the fuck did you do?!"

Gunn tried to push Angel off of him and Angel dropped the man in revulsion when Gunn's hand, burnt so severely that bone was visible, touched him. "I saved her."

"You damned her!"

"Es was putting her through a hell we can't even imagine. Every terror she ever experienced, every awful thing she did or that was done to her, she was reliving it. Es made a deal with me. Es lets Faith stop reliving the pain and terror when I turn off the machines."

"What makes you think you can trust her?!"

Angel felt a hand on his shoulder. "Angel cake-"

"Not now Lorne."

"I did what I had to in order to save the woman I love." Gunn said

Angel scoffed. "Just like you did what you had to when you wanted to keep your fancy law knowledge and sold Wes down the river. If it hadn't been for Lilah- of all people Lilah!- Wes would be dead. You do what you want without regard for the consequences!"

"Gee, I wonder who I picked that up from."

"What's that supposed to-"

"Shut up!" Lorne shouted

A shocked Angel and Gunn turned to look at the panting Pylean. Lorne's fists were clenched and he looked exhausted as well as angry. "Lorne," Angel said hesitantly

"Some champions you two are, the powers really messed up when they picked you for the big fight. You're more worried about whose fault something that was set to happen before either of you were conceived is than how to fix it. We have to stop Es, not stand here bickering about the unchangeable past. Get it together! Now! Or I'll- I'll- You'll regret it okay?!"

Angel and Gunn stared for a few more seconds. "Okay," Angel whispered

"Sure," Gunn said

…

"Are there any other indiscretions you want to share while we're here?" Roger asked

Wesley stared at the floor. "Father please, I love Fred and we've been meaning to get married for a while now. Evi isn't an indiscretion, she's my daughter. She's a beautiful girl."

Fred stared at Wesley. His voice was devoid of feeling, he sounded empty. "Wes,"

"What kind of future does the poor girl have? Born out of wedlock,"

"That's not as uncommon as it used to be." Fred said

"I'm not talking to you girl." Roger said "Please be quiet."

Fred just stared at the father of the man she loved. "What?"

"For God's sake Wesley, can you get her to shut up?"

Fred stared at Wesley, waiting for him to protest his father's unbelievable rudeness, but he just continued to stare at the floor. She would have to handle this herself. "How dare you talk to me like that in my own home?" She demanded "How dare you come here and mock the man I love in front of me and our child?" She was shaking with rage. "What gives you the right?"

Roger sighed. "Where did I go wrong with you boy?"

"Maybe it was when you broke his arm." Fred said through gritted teeth

"I suppose my son has told you plenty of altered accounts of his childhood in order to incur your pity. I assure you that incident did not happen the way he said it did. His arm was broken by accident, whereas his foolish decision to steal from his father and attempt a dangerous resurrection spell was entirely on purpose. Wesley has always had very little regard for the proper way of things. I tried to teach him the importance of rules, but of course the second he went to your godforsaken homeland he forgot everything I devoted years of my life to teaching him and defied the council, resulting in his being fired. Then he went to work for an unholy creature of the night, the very type of creature he was raised to despise and destroy. Is there anything in your life boy you didn't do just to cause me as much embarrassment as possible?"

Silence filled the room like an oppressive weight. Wesley sighed. "Did you fly all the way here from England to lecture me Father? I assure you a phone call would have sufficed."

"Don't get cheek with me boy. I'm still your father and that entitles me to your respect."

"Sorry," Wesley said, abashed "I only wondered what it is you want me to say father."

"A little acknowledgment of what a mess you've made of your life would be a nice start."

Wesley rubbed his forehead. "Where do you want me to begin?"

"Wesley," Fred said "What are you doing?"

…

"Why do I have to come into work this late?" Harmony asked "Am I making overtime?"

Lorne sat Harmony down in a chair in front of his desk. "Angel wants you here in case you get a vision and where he can keep an eye on you. Well, where I can keep an eye on you, in case Es tries to sever our connection to the PTB. We're going to stay in my office while the muscle searches the building. Not that their muscle will do any good against an old one."

"So what's the point?" Harmony asked

"Doing what you can," Lorne responded

"Humph," Harmony looked around the office. "I'm bored." The lights flickered for a moment and then went off. "What was that?" Harmony got to her feet, vampire vision adjusting with ease to the dim conditions. "Did the power go out?" The temperature dropped.

Lorne shivered. "I don't think so."

…

Lilah flipped through documents, looking for something that would protect this building against Es, but the old one was bound by neither agreements nor laws. "Hello Lilah,"

Lilah's head snapped up. "Sirk! You were in the catacombs."

"Indeed I was." Sirk agreed "The old one let us out of our cages."

"Knox? Pavayne? Lindsey? Drusilla?"

"Yes, yes, yes, yes," Sirk was smug. "Es sensed the potential energy in this building and converted it to kinetic. People with no ability to effect the world can now do what they want."

"What do you want Sirk?" Lilah asked

Sirk shrugged. "I figured we would talk. We're both better at that than anything else."

Lilah gestured to the seat in front of her. "Have a seat. What do you want to talk about?"

Sirk sat down. "I remember when you brought me here. You asked me so many questions about Roger Wyndam-Pryce. I have to admit that when I worked with the man, me a young wet behind the ears watcher, and him an experienced field operative, I never imagined a man like that could contribute anything good to the world. You said I would be surprised Lilah."

…

"I did everything I could to prepare you for your destiny, why did you defy me so?"

Wesley kept his gaze on the floor. "I didn't choose to be fired, I was incompetent."

"Truer words were never spoken."

"Yes, had I been wiser I would not have been fired. I would have quit."

Roger scowled. "What does that mean?"

"I followed every instruction the council gave me." Wesley looked up, but then away when his father's stern gaze was too intimidating. "Rupert Giles was ten times the watcher I could ever have been. He had actual experience. He had a report with the slayers. You sent me there to be an instrument of the council and I was. I did what they wanted done and I helped Faith down the path of self-destruction and further alienated Buffy from the council that she already despised. You wouldn't think that I could do anything more aggravating than when we tried to kill her, but you'd be wrong. That she was willing to eventually look past, but insulting the man she loved like a father and refusing to help the man she loved as a lover was too much for her too handle. The council always treated its slayers as instruments, much the way it treated its children. But Buffy is a person, a flawed one, but great for all her flaws. She refused to let us treat her the way I let you treat me for my entire childhood, like a means to an end."

"That's quite enough of that." Roger said "I don't have to be insulted like this."

"Do you deny what I said?" Wesley asked "Do you deny you never loved me?"

"What does love have to do with anything boy?"

Wesley laughed bitterly. "You're right father, love has nothing to do with you."

Roger shook his head. "I came here for an explanation and now I have it. Instead of honoring your sacred calling you betrayed your heritage to jump into bed with some harpy-"

Fred's gasp was covered by Wesley's cold statement. "You can leave now."

"Excuse me," Roger said "What was that boy?"

"I told you to leave."

…

Gunn kept his grip on his sword tight, even though he had no idea what he would do if he came across Es. The old one would be able to pop his head off with ease, but even as Gunn considered this he did not regret his actions. He did not regret promising Es that he would let her out of her cage. He did not regret keeping his promise to the creature who chose to look like Buffy because she was the one person who Faith was unable to win the love of. No matter what was happening to Faith it was not as bad as what she had been suffering through. Whatever came next they could handle. A sound and the smell of electricity caused Gunn to pause and with his senses on high alert Gunn dove to the floor before a bolt of light went through where he had been standing and hit the wall. Gunn rolled over and looked at a smirking man holding a device that looked like a prop from Star Trek. He aimed the large gun at Gunn. "Hello councilor,"

…

"I've missed you."

Spike turned around and was face to face with her. "I know."

"But it's over between us my boy. We made some memories."

Spike thought of the glazed look in a person's eyes when the life slipped out of them and the sound of screams when the pain was too much. He thought of the smell of smoke and the feeling of holding a body with an erratic heartbeat. He thought of the taste of warm blood and the taste of fear sweat. They had made a lot of memories. "You mean so much to me. You were the entirety of my world. But there was so much else there, you blind me to it. You were the worst thing that ever happened to me and I couldn't see it. I'll love you forever. You made me want nothing but you. There are other kinds of love. There are loves that make you admire a person instead of obsessing over them. There are loves that make you want to be a hero instead of a slave to blind passion. I choose that. But no matter how strong I get or how much better a man I become I'll never be able to kill you. I'll always smell the flowers that seem to grow inside you and release their perfume through your pours. Did you see this, when you turned me?"

"I knew I wouldn't have you forever, but I would have something I couldn't get anywhere else and that is beautiful. William, you will never know another woman like me."

Spike stared at her as she drew closer and put her lips on his. "I know."

…

Lorne and Harmony ran down the hall holding hands. They ran from the flickering lights and the sounds of shattering glass. "What is this?!" Harmony demanded "What's happening?!"

"I think it's Pavayne!" Lorne explained

"I thought we put him in a cell he couldn't escape!" Harmony protested

"I think the word couldn't just lost all meaning on account of old one intervention."

They stopped. Standing in front of them was a figure cloaked in shadow. "Hello," It said

"Pavayne," Lorne wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement, but he knew whatever he had just said conveyed his utter terror. "How did you get out?" Lorne questioned

"Someone opened the door." Before Lorne could respond with a terrified yet still sarcastic 'of course' Pavayne raised his hand toward the ceiling. A crack appeared and Lorne grabbed Harmony's arm. They started back the way they had come, but the ceiling fell and buried them under wood and plaster. Pavayne stared at the pile and grinned an evil grin.

…

"How dare you speak to me like that?"

"I've accepted a lot of abuse at your hands, but I will not allow you to insult the woman I love, the mother of my child. You've mocked me enough times that a few more won't make any difference, but I will not stand by and let your venom touch those I care for. You are a loveless cruel man. I didn't not tell you about Evi because I was ashamed or worried about what you would think of me. I didn't tell you because I don't want you to ever come near my daughter or influence the woman she will become in any way. I didn't want the void where your heart should be to affect her even a fraction of the amount it affected me. Now get out of my home."

"What's gotten into you?" Roger demanded of his son

"I'm not afraid of you anymore. I guess it has something to do with the fact that I've faced things much scarier than you. I've seen what people are capable of and you're not as big or bad as I remember. It doesn't take a demon to abuse a child, just a small petty man desperate to use whatever little scraps of power he can collect. I was so afraid that I would be like you, but I could never be as pathetic as you are. So thanks for coming dad and putting my mind at ease."

Roger stared at his son with an expression of pure hate while Wesley just looked at him in disgust. "You are no son of mine. You are no longer welcome in my home."

"Good, that simplifies things." Wesley said

"Think of what you're doing to your mother boy."

"I'm sure the woman who let you beat me up and lock me under the stairs can live out the rest of her life without talking to me or looking at my face, in fact she might prefer it that way."

"Don't pity yourself boy. Your life wasn't so bad." Roger insisted

"I don't pity myself. I'm grateful to you for raising a child so weak-willed that the council had to cast him out. I'm grateful to you for making sure I would be a failure so that I could meet people that would teach me the truths you always concealed from me and so I could fall in love with the most wonderful woman I've ever met and have a child who is the best thing that ever happened to me. I am as far from sorry for myself as I could ever be. So thanks Roger."

Now Roger was the one red in the face, not from shame but anger. However Wesley was calm now, having come to a crucial realization. "You are a terrible disappointment to me."

"I know, I always was. I should have accepted that long ago." Roger abruptly turned around and without another word walked out and slammed the door closed. The sound echoed through the apartment and started Evi crying again. Fred bounced the baby and whispered soothing words to her. Wesley walked over and held out his arms. Fred handed the baby over without hesitation. "It's all right Evi; that was just a mean old man, don't worry about him."

Fred put a hand on Wesley's shoulder. "Are you all right?"

"I'm so sorry." His voice was now thick with repressed emotion. "I can't believe I let him talk to you like that. I was just stunned. When he showed up I felt like I was ten years old again."

Fred kissed Wesley on the cheek. "I'm really proud of you. That must have been hard."

"I was so afraid of him when I was a kid. I was so terrified when you told me you were pregnant because I couldn't help but think about what growing up had been like for me. I thought he knew everything. Every word he spoke had so much certainty. When he punished me I knew I deserved it and when he told me something I knew it was true. I didn't know any better."

The whole talk Wesley had been looking down at his daughter, now he turned to face Fred and saw that her eyes were shining with tears. "Did your dad ever read to you?" She asked

That seemed like an odd question. "No,"

"Did he feed you applesauce and rock you when you cried and kiss you on the forehead and watch you while you were sleeping? Did he ever look at you and wear an expression like he was witnessing a miracle? Because I know how much you love Evi and I've seen you do all of those things to express an overwhelming love. You are nothing like your father. You are so many wonderful things your father could never be because his heart is empty. You're a good man."

"I didn't believe you the first time you told me that."

Fred tried to remember the first time she had told him that. It had been after the incident with Billy. "Do you believe me now?" She asked, her heart thumping fast with anxiety

He kissed her. "Yeah, I do."

…

Angel faced Lindsey. Both were holding swords. "You can't really think you'll beat me can you Lindsey?" Angel smirked at the mortal man. "That's ridiculous."

Lindsey gave Angel a smirk of his own. "I don't want to beat you. I want to destroy you."

"And how are you going to do that?"

"By letting all of this take its course."

…

Gunn got to his feet in time to avoid another shot from Knox's large weapon. "How the hell did you get out of the catacombs?" Gunn demanded of the scientist as he leaped out of the way of the weapon once more. The walls were scorched in several places now.

"Is that really relevant at this point?" Knox asked

Gunn tried to charge the young man, but evading the laser that was coming from his device was proving to be a full-time challenge. Gunn threw his sword at Knox, hoping to cut him and screw up his ability to fire the weapon. Knox fired the gun at the sword and then where Gunn's sword had been molten metal was dripping onto the carpet. Gunn stared at the scorched carpet for a second. "Well shit, that's not good." Knox aimed the gun at Gunn once more.

…

Sirk stared at Lilah. "I'm still waiting to be surprised."

Lilah got to her feet. Sirk kept his eye on her as she walked over to a crystal tumbler of scotch and began to fill two glasses. "Happy well-adjusted people rarely save the world."

"That's true." Sirk said as Lilah walked over and put both glasses on the desk

Lilah smacked his hand as he reached for one. "Ice,"

"I'm good without."

Lilah shrugged, put ice in her own glass, and then sat down. "People with something to prove, people with nothing to lose, people who have seen terrible things, they become heroes."

"Or villains," Sirk pointed out

Lilah nodded her head in agreement and then took a sip of scotch. "We know which ones you are. You've seen terrible things, and you have nothing to lose. Everyone you have ever loved is dead. Me, I have something to prove, but the problem is I proved it. So now what?"

Sirk laughed. "You expect me to believe you really are one of the good guys now?"

Lilah got up to get some water to thin her drink. Sirk watched her every move carefully, making sure she didn't draw a gun or a knife. "I came here to prove I could go toe to toe with the best and the brightest and come out on top. I did, so why am I still here? Take a guess."

"I don't need to guess. Your soul belongs to Angel."

Lilah laughed. "Do you really think he'd enforce that ownership?"

"So why are you here Lilah? I'm honestly curious."

Lilah stepped behind Sirk and put her hands on his shoulders. "Where else would I be?"

"So you have no purpose then? I thought the quest for power was all you needed."

"I had hoped to rise in the ranks of this organization, but a moment of weakness ruined my chances. Sentimentality of all cursed things got to me. I have tried to rid myself of it, I did awful things to the person who inspired my weak sentiment, but it's not enough. However after spending so much time amongst the 'heroes' I have learned something. They say it's about the good fight, but the adjective may as well be removed. They are in it for the fight, for the excitement and the glory. None of them are as good as they would like to believe. I might not be bad enough to be evil, but I think I'm just bad enough to be good. I think I have just enough disregard for my fellow man to fight the good fight, if not quite enough for the bad fight."

Sirk started to turn his head, but a flash of light hit his eyes and a sharp piece of metal rested against his neck. "Where did you get that?" He demanded as his heart sped up

"When there's an emergency I always keep a dagger up my sleeve. Our security sucks ever since the slayer got sick. Are you ready to be surprised Sirk? It's a good tale."

"Go ahead," Sirk tried to summon every obscure fact he knew to think himself out of this situation, but it seemed he was stuck. "I worked with that man, he was as vicious as they came."

"Yes, that's what he did for the world. That's the only thing he ever contributed to this lovely world of ours. He gave us some DNA. I know you like to fancy yourself as corrupted, but the truth is that you were always a villain. Your council was corrupted before you were born."

"Is that so?"

"I don't know." She slit his throat. "I just like to fill people with despair. I enjoy the way someone's voice sounds when they're questioning everything they ever thought they knew."

Lilah let the warm blood flow over her hands. She put the bloody dagger on her desk and then went to find a bathroom and wash the life bearing fluid from her hands. Partway down the hall she found herself facing a creature who looked like Faith. She was purple and she was smiling in such pure ecstasy Lilah couldn't help but smile back. "It's gone now." Es said

"What is?" Lilah asked, knowing she should be afraid, but unable to be

"Everything he could have been or done. I made the potential energy kinetic, but now it has dissipated. The system is less disordered. I could punish you for removing entropy from my system and imposing order, but if I killed you there would be even less disorder."

"I'm sorry." Lilah said "I didn't think about how killing him would…" Lilah wasn't sure how to finish the sentence.

"Less people, less possibilities, less combinations. There are less total actions that can be committed, there are fewer possible futures. Does this happen every time somebody dies?"

Lilah stared at Es. "I think so, yes. But I'm not sure."

Es took a step forward and punched Lilah in the face. Lilah fell to her knees and touched her throbbing cheek. "If I had hit you harder and killed you there would be more structure to the world, fewer possible outcomes. But physical pain makes no discernable difference if nonlethal."

Tears were leaking from Lilah's eyes due to the severity of the pain. Es walked away without another word while Lilah tried to stifle any moan or whimper.

…

Fred got off the phone with Willow after a promise was given that yes the story would be more detailed when she retold it to Willow at work tomorrow and then went into her daughter's room where Wesley was in a rocking chair holding the sleeping infant. Fred looked at them for a moment and then came to a decision. "Put her in the crib." She whispered "I need to talk to you."

Wes gave her a concerned look, but was put as ease by her reassuring smile. Wesley put their daughter in her crib and then followed Fred into their bedroom. "What is it?" Wes asked

"We think about things the way we remember them being. You know?"

"I think so." Fred put her arms around his shoulders and looked into his eyes.

"You were afraid to have a child because you thought of childhood as a negative thing, but now that you see what a great one our child is going to have you aren't as afraid of the thought that she might suffer the way you did." Fred took a deep breath and then let it out in an unsteady exhale. "I liked… sex. But I have this terrible memory and now I just think of it the way that it was in that memory. So I need a better memory, one that reminds me why I liked it."

Wesley stared at her and his eyes were full of deep concern. "Are you sure?"

She kissed him. "I just need something gentle, something warm."

He kissed her back. "I can do that."

…

Spike's hands were all over Drusilla. His lips were all over her too. He was lost in her presence and in her body. "Tell me love." He commanded "Tell me what happens next."

"The cage doors are all open. The son crawled out of the cupboard and is standing in a sunny valley with a flower and a doe. The power is there with them. She is on fire with it and was never put out. We are here with the spiders and cobwebs, relearning everything as the reality has been updated. We think we are so old, but we're not William. We are very young."

Drusilla was on the ground and Spike was on top of her, holding the woman he really wanted to be with. All of that time wasted and urges carried out with the lawyer and the secretary were a distant memory. When he was in Dru he was connected to her, he loved her. "Be mine."

"Nothing is yours William. Hold me, come inside. But I'm never yours."


	2. Understanding

Angel stared at Lindsey. They were both panting. They were standing in the hallway facing each other with their swords. Their fight had been going on for a while. Angel would start to gain the upper hand, then Lindsey would run off and Angel had to follow. Sunlight leaked in through the magic glass, lighting up the building. Angel was still thinking about what Lindsey had said, as well as Es and Faith and a million other things. He wasn't in top form. That's when he saw Es herself enter the hall. "You," He growled, his distraction giving Lindsey an opening

Lindsey swung at the vampire, but Es grabbed his wrist. Angel heard bones crack as the old one squeezed. Lindsey moaned in pain. "What are you doing?" Lindsey demanded

"I am chaos. I cannot be predicted. Flee mortal, I wish to save you for another time."

Lindsey stared at Es in shock. Then he remembered that she could kill him with less effort than a human killing a housefly and he fled. "Why did you do that?" Angel asked

"One of your people killed one of the people I set free. He is dead now."

The redundancy of the statements confused Angel. "Who's dead?"

"The one called Sirk is dead. He will never take another action."

"No," Angel agreed "He's in the senior partners' hell dimension now probably."

"Inviting chaos into that system, but order into mine. I am displeased."

Angel was confused. "Death displeases you."

"If I understand it correctly. This era is different from the one I knew. Who can explain to me what death is and what it means for the system is takes place in? A magician? A scientist?"

"I… don't know."

"The green one, he reads destinies. He sees the world in a way more similar to me than you do, perhaps he can tell me where I may find this information. Fetch him for me."

"Hold up, you want to… talk. To Lorne. Just talk."

"Yes mortal, was I unclear?"

"No, I uh… I'll go get him. Would you like to wait in my office?"

"I will wait in your office for a span of time I will not disclose to you."

"K, I'll meet you in there." Angel was stunned. He was so confused by what was happening right now and by this old one's strange behavior that was in no way similar to Illyria's that he wasn't really making conscious choices, just functioning on autopilot.

"If you get to your office before the undisclosed time limitation."

"Right, yes." Angel ran off to find Lorne.

…

Fred had been awake for five minutes before she realized something that startled her and caused her to sit up abruptly. The covers slid off of her naked body and roused the lightly sleeping man next to her. "Fred, are you all right?" Wesley put a hand on her shoulder.

"I didn't take my medication last night." Fred said

"Did you have a nightmare?" The concern in his voice was palpable.

"No," She said "It's so weird. Before I started taking the medication I had a nightmare every time I went to sleep. But last night I was distracted due to our activities and I forgot."

Wesley kissed her neck. "Perhaps your subconscious mind was dwelling on other things."

Fred turned her head and kissed him. "I wonder if the medicine has a cumulative effect."

"Willow said it didn't."

"I think I'll double check with her today."

"Okay," He started to get out of bed. "We should get ready for work."

"How come you get the first shower?" She said in a joking whine

"Do you want to share?" He offered

"No," She said "I actually want to go to work at some point."

Wesley chuckled. "You can have the first shower."

"You shouldn't give me everything I want. I might start taking advantage of you."

Wesley gave her a serious look. "You can take advantage of me whenever you want."

…

Gunn hit the ground and rolled closer to Knox, hoping to attack his legs and cause him to drop the lethal weapon. Knox pointed the weapon at Gunn again and in a truly foolish gamble Gunn kicked the device and caused it to point at the ceiling. Gunn got to his feet and socked Knox in the jaw. Gunn grabbed the weapon and tossed it aside. Realizing the tables were turned Knox started to run away. Gunn grabbed the scientist's arm and punched him in the gut, the cracking sound and gasp of pain giving Gunn some satisfaction. "You tried to kill my friend."

"So did you." Knox gasped, earning himself another punch

"Well, I'm still pissed about you using me for your nefarious plan."

"What are you going to do, kill me?"

Gunn considered this. "Nope." Gunn stomped on Knox's shin, the crack of the bone and the scream of pain both pleasant sounds to him. "I'm not going to do that. It'd be wrong."

…

Lilah stumbled into the bathroom and looked at her red face and hands. The bruise now covered half of her face. She turned on the faucet, getting blood all over the handles, and then placed her hands under the stream of water. Sirk's blood was washed down the drain as her face continued to throb with pain. "You again," Lilah turned around and saw Drusilla. Dru came close, causing Lilah's heart rate to accelerate. "You're alive again, warm again." Lilah opened her mouth to speak, but the pain this caused made Lilah reconsider. Dru touched the painful bruise and Lilah closed her eyes. "Very warm," Dru licked the bruise, sending another flash of pain through Lilah right along with the flash of fear. "Broken blood vessels," Dru said

"What are you doing?" Spike entered the bathroom and then froze when he saw the answer to that question. "Lilah? What happened to- Dru did you do that?"

"I killed Sirk." Lilah hissed with pain. "Es disapproved."

"You-" Spike's eyes widened. "You saw Es. It didn't kill you."

Lilah nodded. "I guess that wouldn't have been chaotic enough. I guess I'm better alive."

"What should we do with it Spikey?" Dru asked

"Spikey?" Lilah asked "You off the wagon then? You the big bad again?"

Spike scowled. "Where's Es?"

Lilah shrugged. "I guess we should go look for her."

Spike nodded. "Will you come Dru?"

"I would like to meet the spider queen." Dru said, probably a yes

"Angel's going to be so pissed." Lilah mumbled as they left

…

Lorne felt something as he tried to shove debris away and come to the surface. He felt skin and then he felt a hand wrap around his own. The hand pulled with supernatural strength and brought him out of the destruction. "I thought I was trapped. Thanks Ang-Harmony."

Harmony smiled. "No problem."

"You saved me." Lorne was still a little surprised by which vampire had saved him.

"Duh," Harmony said

Lorne grinned. "I like you more every day. Did you see Pavayne?"

Harmony shook her head. "I guess he thought we were dead or trapped and decided to go mess with somebody else. Good for us right?" She looked around. "This place is creepy."

"We need to find… somebody." Lorne decided

"Who?"

"Angel, Gunn, Spike, hell even Lilah."

Harmony sniffed the air. "I smell blood. Should we go over there?"

Lorne hesitated. "The coward in me says no, but I suppose we should."

…

Fred handed her baby over. "Are you okay Fred?" Willow asked

"Yeah,"

"Is this about the thing with Wesley's dad? I'm sorry I ran out."

"No, it's not that. That worked out really well. I uh- forgot to take my medicine."

"Oh no," Willow looked horrified. "Did you have a bad dream?"

"I… didn't dream at all." Fred said "Is that because I've been taking it so long?"

"Oh," Willow shook her head. "It doesn't work like that. The medicine only lasts for one solar cycle. If you didn't dream it's because of you, not the potion."

"Does that mean I'm better?" Fred asked "Does that mean…"

Willow took a hold of Fred's hand. "You're however you feel right now. Yeah?"

Fred looked down at their connected hands. "I feel good. I just have this fear, that I'll wake up tomorrow and it will be six months ago. I'm afraid I'm… unstable."

Willow pulled Fred into a hug. "There are good days and bad days. Treasure the good days and know you have people who love you and will help you through the bad days."

"Thanks Will," Fred blinked to rid her eyes of the forming tears. "See you at lunch."

…

Gunn dropped the bloody Knox to the ground where the scumbag lay still. Gunn felt like there was something hairy with a bunch of legs crawling through his veins. He felt dirty in a way that he couldn't quite conceptualize. He turned around and saw Matthias Pavayne standing in front of him. "Look at the mess you've made. You are such messy creatures, you are."

"You're human too." Gunn said, or rather tried to. His mouth was too dry to make coherent sounds. "He… He tried to kill me. He tried to kill my friend. He's… evil?"

Pavayne reached out and touched Gunn's forehead. "Why did you let Es out?"

"I… Faith… love… what are you doing to me?"

"When I was alive the first time I gave no thought to anything other than my own pleasure and how I might bring it about. People came to me, sick, dying, I cut them open and put black magics in them. They fed me well. I find myself hungry as I have not been in a long time."

Gunn tried to push Pavayne away, but the man grabbed his good hand and with a strength that was somehow greater than Gunn's own squeezed. Gunn felt the bones in his fingers crack and then break. "Stop… You… This isn't what was supposed to happen. I came back to…"

"Did she hypnotize you? Or did you want to help her? I see the path where she walked through your mind, using you, convincing you that you were free. But you are a slave."

"Let go of me." Gunn felt intense pain as Pavayne squeezed harder and he grew weaker.

"You will feed me."

Gunn whimpered, but when Pavayne let go Gunn followed him away.

…

Lilah's face looked worse every time Spike snuck a peek at it. "Do you need medical attention or something?" Spike asked "Your face…" He wasn't sure how to finish.

"Let's just find the old one and then…" Lilah sighed. "Do we have a plan?"

"Well what did you do about the last old one?" Spike asked

"The powers that be gave Angel's seer friend magical powers that infected Illyria and made her mortal so that Fred could cut her head off." Lilah said "Seeing as how neither of those people are here right now I would say that plan is out. The only thing that can fight an old one and have a prayer of surviving is another old one, and then you just have the same problem."

"The spider queen is nothing like the ice queen." Drusilla said

"What does that even mean?" Lilah asked

"I think she's saying Es is nothing like Illyria." Spike said

"Oh yeah? What's she like?" Lilah asked

"She's pretty on the inside, like embroidery up close, lots of colors all mixed up."

"What's that one mean?" Lilah asked

"I'm a little rusty." Spike confessed "I can't figure that one."

"The spider queen is waiting for daddy." Dru said

Lilah stopped. "Angel's office?"

Drusilla was quiet but Spike shrugged. "Worth a shot."

…

Lorne entered the bathroom with Harmony and looked at the bloody sink. "Whose blood is that?" Lorne whispered, as though silence would ward away evil. "Is it someone we know?"

Harmony sniffed a few times. "I think it's that guy who helped Lindsey."

"Sirk?"

Harmony nodded.

"Pavayne, Sirk, this is really bad." Lorne said

"That also goes into the duh category." Harmony said

"Do you smell anything else?"

"Lilah… Spike… ugh," Harmony wrinkled her nose. "Spike's ex,"

"Drusilla?"

Harmony nodded again.

"This is so bad."

…

Gunn felt the ropes tighten around his wrists as Pavayne tied him to the wooden table in the basement. "I like it here. I like the familiar." Pavayne said "We crave what we know, like a baby grasping for its mother's teat. What is known is safe. Fools, sheep, think this."

Gunn grunted in pain as Pavayne pulled the ropes even tighter, making the threads dig into Gunn's skin. "What are you going to do to me?" As he spoke Gunn felt the fog Pavayne had put on him lift. Gunn was coherent now, but trapped. "Let me go!" Gunn demanded

In response Pavayne picked up a sledgehammer. "Quiet, we will talk now."

Gunn stared in horror at the sledgehammer. "What's that for?" Gunn whispered

"It's for your foot, the one where she shot you. You wanted to keep the bullet, but they took the memory away and it was lost. It was a magic bullet, full of hidden meaning."

Even as Gunn struggled the memory came to him unbidden. _'Can I have that? I just want to remember. That's all we have at the end. Who we are is just what we've done and what we've experienced. I don't ever want to forget, any of it. Because if I lose sight of who I am I'll have lost everything. So let me remember the bad and the good.'_ "Angel was just trying to save us."

"Strange how you defend him when I have levied no accusation at him nor even brought him up." Pavayne said "Strange, you defend actions I have not condemned. Do you doubt boy?"

"Don't call me boy." Gunn said

"Do you doubt God's grace? Do you question his providence?"

"Are you a Christian?" Gunn asked "That's hilarious."

"Do you blame God for giving you the option to leave heaven? Do you wish you had stayed there instead of returning here to watch the people you love abandon you?"

"That's not what happened."

Pavayne put the sledgehammer aside and got a knife. "I will carve you, like a turkey."

Gunn's eyes widened in horror. "Please-"

"Shhh,"

…

Faith smiled as she felt the warm sunshine on her face and Buffy's fingers working through her hair. "Your hair is long, good for braiding." Buffy said "But me next, k?"

"Your turn is my favorite turn." Faith murmured "I love your hair."

"Faith?"

"Yeah Buffy?"

"Why do you love me?"

Faith opened her eyes. The sun still warmed her face. Flowers grew in clumps throughout the meadow she and Buffy were in, filling the air with sweet perfume. Buffy's fingers scraped her scalp in a way that made something under Faith's guts jump. Birds sang to them, promising that with spring came new beginnings. Faith could smell the sweets in their picnic basket sending up an aroma of fruit and confectioner's sugar. "You are what I wish I could be, a light that fills my soul when it's dark. When I came to Sunnydale lost you made me believe. You stood tall in the face of danger, brave even when you were afraid. You are beautiful in your fury, and merciful to those who allow you to show mercy. But you could never love someone like me."

"I love you Faith." Faith felt Buffy's lips on her scalp. "I return your love."

"How?" Faith asked

"Here all that you desire is real, all that you love loves you."

Faith reached up and took Buffy's hand. They intertwined fingers. "Is this real?"

"Does it matter?"

…

Wesley walked up behind Fred, who was hunched over a text, and placed a hand on the unhealthy curve of her back. Fred gasped as she sat up straight. "Sorry," He said quickly

Fred slammed the book shut and pushed it under some papers on the table she currently had to herself in the school library. "You just startled me, it's fine." She assured him

"What are you doing?" Wesley asked in what he hoped was a casual tone

"Nothing," She reached into her bag and pulled out some papers to grade.

"Writing some lesson plans?" He prodded

"I was just reading." She said with forced cordiality

Wesley sat down next to her but she avoided looking at him. He wanted to press further, but he recognized that he had no right to make Fred confide in him. "Just tell me you're okay."

She finally met his gaze and he saw aggravation transform into guilt and then affection before she reached out and took his hand. "If I weren't, I would tell you. I promise."

"Sometimes I worry about you. I've been told I'm somewhat paranoid."

"Who told you that?"

"Paranoia demon, but that's not important." Wesley said

Fred chuckled. "I know what you are doing."

"What am I doing?"

Fred sighed and then scanned the room to make sure no one was in earshot of their private conversation. "Have you ever been poor? I mean like no money at all poor."

Wesley gave her an odd look. "Yes, my rogue demon hunter days were- yes."

"I never have, not unless you count Pylea. But when you don't have something, like say money, and then you get some, it's almost worse than not having any. It's like all of a sudden you have something to lose. You start to realize how easy it is not to have to keep track of valuable things. Nothing is so easy to hold onto. So I guess it's just that… I'm afraid."

"Afraid to have things?" Wesley asked

"Afraid to lose things," She said "Things I just got."

"Is this about last night?" Wesley asked

"Yes, but not about what we did. That was great by the way. I'm talking about dreamless sleep without my medication. I feel like I made a lot of progress and-" Fred bit her lip. She took the book out from under her papers and handed it to Wesley. It was a text on memory spells.

"You're considering altering your memory." He whispered

Fred rushed to explain. "I know the last time one of us tried something like this it was a disaster, but it's not like I'd forget it happened. I'd just be able to escape you know? I wouldn't have to see it anymore. I think about it less and less, but to never have to think of it at all-"

"Stop." Fred was stunned by the severity in his tone. She was more stunned by what he said next. "Stop trying to justify yourself. You never have to do that with me. Your actions are not subject to my approval. That's not the kind of relationship we have or that I want. If you want to do this that's your right. If you want my advice or just to talk to me you always can, but you never have to explain yourself and you never need my approval for anything. So stop."

Fred wiped away tears. "You're really great, you know that?"

Wesley pulled her into a hug and she rested on his shoulder, feeling peaceful.

…

Spike used the utmost care to push the door to Angel's office open. Es was sitting cross-legged on the floor reading documents that she had taken from a demolished filing cabinet with great interest. "Hello mortals, you are fascinating creatures all. Perhaps you have lovely stories to tell me. You have each died. Two of you remain dead. Do you envy the wicked-hearted creature who was allowed to regain flesh? Is it fair that after engaging in none of the good deeds you have that she has a beating heart and you remain as you are? I am curious."

Spike and Lilah shared a look while Dru got closer to Es. "Not all like to be warm."

Es stood up and touched Drusilla's cheek. "What do you see little lamb?"

"I see the one touched by heaven, shedding his mortality."

"What?" Spike found this statement alarming.

…

Faith blinked. "Yes, it does." For a moment the sunshine dimmed, but it returned.

"Why?"

"Something is happening. What's happening?" Faith asked

Faith felt Buffy's hands rest on her shoulders and squeeze while Buffy pressed her body against Faith's. Buffy's hands slid down Faith's shoulders and the blond slayer wrapped her arms around her companion's chest. Faith felt contented in the embrace. "No matter,"

Faith sniffed Buffy's hair. Was this what sunshine smelt like? "Please tell me."

"He's dying."

Now Faith felt cold. "Who is dying?"

"The man you let inside you. The dark warrior with a golden heart."

Cold tears dripped down Faith's cheeks. "Please don't let him die."

"Why do you care?" Buffy's lips were against Faith's ear. "You have me."

"Please save him. I-I love him."

Buffy squeezed Faith tighter. "Anything for you my love."

…

"Lorne!"

Lorne breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "I am so glad to see you Angelicious."

Harmony cleared her throat. "What am I, chopped kidney?"

Angel gave Lorne a weird look in response to Harmony's mangled turn-a-phrase and then pulled his demonic friend aside. He spoke in a low voice as they stood in the deserted hall with only the flickering lights and Harmony for company. "I saw it again. I talked to it." Angel said

"What did she say?" Lorne asked

"She saved me from Lindsey and said she wanted to talk to you."

Lorne's jaw dropped. "Sorry, I went insane for a few seconds, want to run that again?"

"You know how our research said she loves chaos?" Angel asked

"Sure," Lorne said

"Lilah killed Sirk."

"Forgive me if I don't shed a tear. I love all humans, but that guy-"

"Listen for a minute. Es opened the catacombs and let everybody out because there was an untapped potential for chaos. They hate us, and she wanted to see what they would do to us in payment for what we did to them. When Lilah killed Sirk the number of possibilities shrunk, and I think it bothered her. I think we can use that to convince her not to kill. You're used to this kind of stuff, if you explain it to her I think she'll listen. You might be able to save us all." Angel said

"No pressure," Lorne said in a dry voice that failed to conceal his terror

"She's in my office. We have to try Lorne."

Lorne nodded, determination battling with fear. "I suppose there are worse ways to die."

"You're not going to die." Angel promised

"How do you know?" Harmony inquired conversationally

"Come on." Angel grabbed Harmony's arm and dragged her along while Lorne followed with his heart pounding at an unnatural speed. He closed his eyes and focused on what to say.

…

Gunn was recalling a conversation. He was in bed with Faith after a rendezvous and they were talking. He hadn't meant to ask, but once the question was out it was there. _'What's it like to torture somebody?'_ He expected her to get mad, but she just looked at him with her dark eyes.

'_I doubt it's the same for everybody. I… I didn't enjoy it. I tried to make myself enjoy it because I thought… I thought a lot of things. But there's this power dynamic unlike anything else in the world. Because when you torture somebody they have power too even if they don't realize it. You work off of their reaction. What they do determines what you do. That's their power.'_

Gunn was curious, but didn't inquire further. Now he wished he had. He felt the knife slicing through his skin and digging into him. "What's important to you?" The terrifying voice demanded of him "Why did you come back? Why were you here to begin with?"

Gunn thought about what Faith had said. Pavayne was working off of his reactions, so what reaction would make him stop? Gunn gasped in agony, unable to think clearly through the pain even with his upgraded brain. Why was he here? What kind of question was that supposed to be? "My father's way with words was probably a contributor. My grandma told me my mom could never resist a guy who spoke with a little poetry. Biology took it from there." Gunn said

"Funny," Gunn screamed in pain at the sharp jab. "Street trash, that's what you were."

"What's so bad about being street trash?" Gunn asked "We didn't hurt anybody."

"Did her life matter? The one you were so desperate to protect? Did your failure mean anything in the grand scheme of things? Or is she just another dead sewer rat?"

"Go to-" Gunn was cut off by the knife sliding under his skin, abusing nerve endings.

Pavayne smiled at the sounds of Gunn's discomfort. "I will break you. I always do."

…

Es stood in two realities. In one reality she was a beautiful blond holding a unique soul while that soul begged for the life of her lover. In the other reality she stood in front of two vampires and a lawyer, wearing the body of the unique soul. She wanted more realities, more possibilities, and more chaos. She was discontent. The world was changed, fascinating, but it wasn't enough. She needed more. She was hungry. But she did not know what she hungered for nor where to find it. The male vampire was speaking. "What are you talking about Dru?"

Es knew who she was talking about. The man dying in the basement, the one that had set her free so the unique soul could know peace. Faith wanted her to save him. Es went over to the windows and touched the magic glass. "Is this sunlight? Is this just a copy of sunlight?"

"There is no difference." Drusilla said

"Is every fingerprint unique?" Es asked "Are identical molecular structures the same thing, or do they have a distinctive identity in their placement in space and time? Is each human ninety-nine percent identical to the next one in line? Does your DNA define you?" Es pressed Faith's face against the warm glass. "Is this sunlight? Can two different souls be the same through a statistical fluke? Are your destines predetermined?" Es ran her hand over the glass as she continued to ramble. "Are you simply the sum of your experiences, or is there a choice?"

A voice spoke from the doorway. "There is always a choice." Lorne declared

Es turned around. Lorne was in the doorway with Angel next to him and Harmony hanging back. "Who makes it?" Es demanded "Is it that unique soul, or a higher power?"

Lorne hesitated. "I have to be honest. I don't know."

…

Fred was sitting in Willow's office. Willow was behind the desk, Fred in front, they were separated by a block of wood. But their real separation was Fred's anxiety. "I'm trying to come to some kind of understanding." Fred said "About what happened to me. It nearly- It did drive me insane. I need to understand why what happened to me happened. Was it pointless?"

Willow bit her lip. When Fred had told her she wanted to talk about a memory spell Willow had known this would be complicated. "In many ways violence is always pointless."

"My wounds have healed. If my mind heals, did it ever happen at all?"

"Fred… Nothing can be erased." Willow said carefully "Wounds heal, but there is always something that remains. Your body and your mind will heal, but what is done is done."

"Then what's the point in erasing the memory?" Fred asked

Willow wasn't sure what side she was supposed to be on, maybe she was supposed to be arguing both points. That was confusing. It also seemed pointless. Fred must have already gone over every possible pro and con a million times. What could Willow possibly say that Fred didn't already know? "I understand that feeling." Willow said "When we face a tragedy we always want there to be a point. We always want to come to some kind of understanding and we want to believe the things we lost will be recompensed. I really do understand that." Willow said

"Did you come to an understanding?" Fred whispered

Willow thought about all the loss she had known in her life. "Not yet, but I haven't given up and I don't intend to any time soon. I don't think I'm capable of abandoning a question."

"Do you think there was a reason for what happened to me?" Fred asked

Willow was stunned by how frail Fred sounded. Willow got up and walked over to the physicist, kneeling in front of her chair. Willow took Fred's hand. Willow saw tears drop from Fred's bowed head. "Maybe everything has a reason, maybe nothing does. Maybe there isn't one understanding that will conceptualize everything. Maybe there is. Maybe it's so complicated that our mortal minds can't conceive it." Willow sighed "I don't think this is going to help you."

"What isn't?" Fred asked

"Dwelling, you have to think about it, I get that. But don't feel like you can't stop until you have some kind of answer. If there is an answer you won't find it today." Willow said

Fred looked up. She wiped away her tears and then smiled at the witch. "Thanks Will."

Willow watched Fred carefully as Fred got up and made sure all of the moisture was gone from her face. "It's just so weird that there's no moment, no click. There's no epiphany. There's no point where I'm better all of a sudden. I just get a little bit better every day." Fred hugged the other woman and Willow hugged her back. "I'm just really glad you're here. You're a wonderful friend and I don't know what I would do without you." Fred rested her head against Willow.

Willow held back her own tears as she held her friend. It was so strange to be needed like this again. It was so weird to be a confidant again. So when Fred had left to find Wesley and Evi Willow sat at her desk for a minute thinking. She dialed a number and listened to the phone ring, all the while unsure if she wanted someone to pick up. "Hey, Xander? Yeah it's me. No, nothing is wrong. Yeah, Buffy's fine. No, I don't need anything. I just wanted to talk to you." For a moment Willow thought she had lost the connection, but then there was a response. "I've missed you too." She told the young man at the other end of the line "I've missed you a lot."

…

Gunn was starting to think that Faith's theory about torture victims having power over the person torturing them was bullshit. "Tell me why you came back." Pavayne demanded "Was it not everything you had imagined? Were there not enough angels singing or fields of green?"

Suddenly Gunn understood. Faith was right. Gunn did have power and he knew just how to use it. "You want me to tell you what it was like. That's what this is all about. You know there is no way you could ever go. You want to know what heaven looks like. You poor-ahhhh!"

The pain was intense, but worth it. "Be quiet." Pavayne applied more pressure.

"You asked me a question."

"That wasn't an answer. That was nonsense." Pavayne said

"I'll tell you what it's like." Gunn lied

Gunn sensed the hesitation and was quite proud of himself. "I don't care."

"Liar," Gunn wasn't sure if the next stab of pain was worth it.

…

"What is Drusilla doing here?" Angel demanded

"Es let everyone out of the catacombs." Harmony said "We've been through this."

"No, I mean- Shut up Harmony. I mean why is she _here_, in my office?"

"Don't tell me to shut up." Harmony said, outraged

Angel's gaze fell on Lilah and his eyes widened. "What happened to your _face_?"

"Old ones hit harder than Gavin." Lilah said, reminding Angel of the last time her face had been marred with bruises "I really think you need to start focusing on the issues at hand."

"Where's Gunn?" Angel asked

Es chuckled, a beautiful lilting sound that did not suit her odd appearance. "That is the issue at hand. Where is he? Will he live or will he die? Does it matter? Has it ever mattered?"

Lorne stepped further into the room, clearly petrified. "He's dying?"

"As of now," Es said

"You can save him." Lorne said

"Why would I do that?" Es asked

"We aren't expecting you to. We're expecting you to behave like Illyria. If you save Gunn it will be… unpredictable." Lorne ventured "You'll be showing us how chaotic-"

Lorne was cut off by a powerful blow to the abdomen. He fell to his knees. "Do you think that a mere mortal could ever manipulate me? Your expectations do not define this universe."

"I apologize." Lorne said through gasping breaths

Angel stepped in front of Lorne with no regard for his own safety. Es giggled again, amused by this gesture. "I could kill you and then him, your posturing is pointless."

"He came here to talk to you because I asked him to and I asked him to because you told me to. I won't let him suffer because of my idiotic decision. There's been enough of that."

Es reached out and Angel flinched, but she only caressed his face. "If he dies you will mourn, there will be ripples. But if he lives he will act. Many will respond. He will respond to some of that and the ripples will grow instead of fade. But in the end you all will die."

"M-maybe," Lorne said from behind Angel "But don't you want to see what happens?"

"What happens? You can see it. So tell me."

"I can't." Lorne said "It's not written in stone."

"Because it is undecided?" Es asked

"Yes," Lorne said

"Then there is chaos here. This is a disordered system where the exact location of an electron at any moment cannot be determined and the exact fate of any creature is fluid."

"Yes," Lorne echoed "Everything is uncertain."

She was gone. They all looked around. "Where did she go?" Spike asked

Lilah rolled her eyes. "Hopefully to go save Gunn."

"We have to find him." Angel said "Let's split up."

Spike groaned. "Great plan,"

…

Gunn was having trouble breathing. He saw the knife press against his throat and wondered if that was how he was going to die. Maybe Pavayne was just trying to scare him and the knife would be removed. Or maybe Pavayne would press down and the flesh of his neck would part for the blade. Blood would spill out. Gunn wondered how Wesley had felt when he was bleeding from his own slit throat. "So warm, always so warm. A fire burns in you."

Gunn smiled despite the pain and fear. "Yeah, it does."

"What's it made of?"

"Love, faith, determination," Gunn said

"When I put the fire out, will you lose those things?"

"It doesn't go out." Gunn said "It moves on."

"Maybe they won't let you back in. Maybe your ticket was only for one admittance."

"Worried about being alone in hell?" Gunn asked

The blade was on his skin, just a little bit of pressure was all it would take to remove the man called Charles Gunn from the world. Gunn stared at Pavayne and prayed that Faith knew what she was talking about. "I will break you." Pavayne hissed "You will die weak."

"I'm not afraid of you." Gunn said "You have no power."

Gunn felt something heavy collide with his ribs. The world broke up into red glass, shattering into a million pieces like a sharp mist. The pain was intense. "I have all power."

Gunn tried to laugh, but his damaged body was incapable. "That… all you… got?"

Gunn was proud of himself for managing to get out those four words through the agony and shortness of breath. "I have so much more. You will beg for mercy. You will scream."

Gunn closed his eyes. _'Gunn,' _Her voice woke him up.

The memory was so clear. He must have fallen asleep after their conversation but he was awake now. Faith was looking at him. _'What's up?'_ He touched her hair.

'_What you asked me about torturing somebody, I need to tell you something. If you're being tortured, don't ever scream. That's either what they want or what they fear. Either way, once you've done it the whole thing is over. Don't let them hear you scream.'_

Gunn kissed her. _'Don't think about that. I'm sorry I brought it up.'_

'_I'm glad you did. I needed to tell you that. It's important.'_

'_Sure, let's just get some sleep.'_

Gunn opened his eyes and stared at Pavayne. "You'll never hear me scream."

Then she was there. It was there. It threw Pavayne into the wall which he hit with a loud thump that knocked him out. While Pavayne slid down the wall into a heap Es freed Gunn from his restraints. "You will live Charles Gunn." The creature said "Go find your friends."

Gunn struggled to find the breath to speak. "Why?"

"I am without reason. I am chaos." She was gone.

Gunn made his way to the elevator and then to a few floors up where Angel was looking for him with Lorne and Harmony. "Gunn!" Angel cried out in relief "You look like crap."

Angel and Lorne supported Gunn while they made their way to the infirmary. "She saved me Angel." Each word was agony, but necessary. "Faith saved me from Pavayne."

Angel flinched. "That wasn't Faith Gunn."

"Don't understand," But he couldn't explain with no oxygen, so he just let them carry him away while Harmony got on her cellphone to call Lilah and tell her Gunn was found.

…

Xander wasn't sure at first if the phone was really ringing or if this was just another alcohol fueled hallucination. Xander knocked over an empty glass bottle with his uncoordinated hands when he reached for the phone. It shattered. "Hello. Willow?" Xander looked at the phone again, convinced it would transform and prove itself a hallucination. "Is something wrong?" If it was, why was she calling him directly? But apparently all was well. "Is Buffy all right? Do you need something?" Xander listened to her negative assurance. "What's up?" Xander was stunned when she said she had just wanted to talk to him. How long had it been since they had 'just talked' about anything? Willow hadn't even called to tell him when she and Kennedy broke up for real. "Oh, that's… I missed you." Xander hadn't meant to say it, but the words just came out and now he couldn't take them back. Now she was telling him she had missed him, not only that, she had missed him a lot. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Everything came out all at once. How sorry they both were for growing apart, how weird everything had been, how Xander hadn't meant to push her away. How the depression and the liquor had been paralyzing and he hadn't wanted to drag her down with him. They were both crying and Xander was just so glad to be talking to a real person instead of a ghost about something that mattered. Then she was in his apartment thanks to a teleportation spell and he was crying in her arms. He was scared to death, but for the first time in months he thought that he might survive to the next day.

…

Es thought the mess she had made in L.A. would probably take a good long while to clean up. She could mess around elsewhere for a time. She knew exactly what she wanted to do for her next bit of amusement. She didn't want to poke the hornet's nest, oh no. She wanted to shake it up and then throw it at her old acquaintance. She wanted to take a hop over the Pacific Ocean and see what had become of dear old Illyria. But she knew Illyria was swimming in the mortal's blood and that the mortal was living a quiet life right now, at least in comparison to what his life had been. What could she do to add some excitement to it? Es grinned, there were so many ways to have fun. She wrapped Faith's arms around herself and contemplated.


	3. No Light, No Light

Gunn opened his eyes and tried to sit up. A jolt of incredible pain dissuaded him. He took in his surroundings and realized he was in an infirmary bed. "I'm so sick of this place."

A loud high-pitched shout made him wince. "Hey boss! He's awake!"

"Hey Harmony," Gunn was hurt that only Harmony was waiting for him to wake up until he remembered that an old one was loose and everyone was probably busy.

"Hey," She said brightly "I heard this was all your fault."

He flinched again. "Kind of,"

"Hu," She was bored of the topic now.

Lorne came in. "I'm glad you're up." Lorne said nervously

"Where's Es?" Gunn asked

"M.I.A." Lorne said "Which is all well and good for now. We have enough problems."

"Pavayne?"

"Unaccounted for,"

"Knox?"

"Also missing,"

"Lindsey?"

"Same,"

"Drusilla?"

"Angel and Spike are currently in the middle of a big row concerning her."

"Awesome," Gunn said "Because that's what we need right now."

Lorne put up his hands. "Reason has no meaning to those two."

"Where's Lilah?" Gunn asked

"Different room, getting her jaw worked on."

Gunn's eyes widened. "Is she okay?"

"She'll be fine. Es hit her, but she got off easy. An old one can kill you with no effort, so Es apparently didn't want Lilah dead. Pain was the goal, and it was achieved. But you…"

Gunn shook his head. "It doesn't matter."

"Gunn the medics say they might not be able to fix your hand. Add to that all the stuff Pavayne did to you and I'd say you have it pretty rough right now. Just relax for a minute."

"There's no time!" Gunn said angrily "Who knows when the next-"

Gunn was cut off by the sudden loss of power in the room. The lights went out and every machine shut down at once. "I'm gonna go out on a limb and say now-ish." Harmony said

…

"Now, who would like to try translating this passage? It's a little tricky, but you'll have done well if you get the gist of it. Anyone?" Wesley looked around the classroom. A few students shifted uncomfortably. One girl tentatively raised her hand. "Akiko! Excellent,"

The girl sighed. "Do you want me to translate it to English or can I use Japanese?"

"You can use any language you like, except for of course what the passage is written in."

Akiko gave her language instructor a nervous smile and then began to read the passage in her native tongue. It was difficult and she made several mistakes, but she forged ahead, and when she looked up from the book her instructor was beaming at her. "Did I do well?"

"That was excellent." Wesley assured her "This particular demonic dialect is very common among certain subterranean dwellers and you may notice the lack of words for most plant and animal species as we continue to study it. The language has gone relatively unchanged for centuries even though many members of the species now live above ground. Part of this is due to the fact that most members of these clans are very adaptable and will often learn the language of any area they migrate to rather quickly. They are for this reason natural interpreters and will often use this to their advantage. Many of these demons have used their abilities to cause deliberate misunderstandings they can exploit for their own purposes. If one learns their language however one is protected from this to an extent and since in combat these creatures are usually harmless they can often be defeated without ever raising a hand to them."

A student raised her hand and after being acknowledged made her inquiry. "Are all members of this species tricksters? If we meet one should we just assume right off they are trying to manipulate us?" Her perceptive question thrilled her instructor.

"It is impossible to make generalizations about any species. Even if the vast majority of these demons are dishonest that does not mean that were you to come across one he or she would not be a guileless soul with no ill intention toward you. Treat everyone you meet with kindness, but always be prepared to meet ill will. Anyone can overcome the circumstances of their birth."

"Even demons?" One boy asked

"I have known several demons more honest than most humans." Wesley said

"I've never met a demon." One girl said "Are they all ugly?"

"Children we really do need to focus on this assignment." Wesley said "If you work hard and we finish early I might answer some of your questions about different demon species."

The kids got back to work. There was a knock on the door and Wesley went to see who it was and what they needed. A figure in an all black body suit was there and the figure wasted no time in running Wesley through with a sword. Students screamed and jumped to their feet, watchers in training instinctually backing behind slayers. Akiko tripped while backing up and fell, attracting the intruder's attention. A slayer threw a chair at the intruder, but it pulled the sword from its first victim and bisected the chair easily. The intruder started for Akiko and was stunned to find the person he had just impaled standing behind him with a gun. The intruder dove out of the way while Wesley fired at him. The intruder was athletic, but Wesley was a good shot and in a few moments a still figure in black was on the floor leaking a viscous red fluid that one would assume was blood, but didn't look quite right. "What happened?" Akiko asked

Wesley offered his student a hand and after a moment she took it and then he helped her to her feet. "Listen to me, all of you need to get to the library right now. It's the designated safe room for this floor. When everyone is accounted for a teacher will seal the entrances."

"Where are you going?" One student asked, panicked

Wesley picked up the sword and handed it to a young woman who seemed only slightly perturbed by the events she had just witnessed. "There are seven slayers in this room, I'm sure they can lead you all to safety." The young woman he had handed the sword nodded.

"But what about you?" Akiko asked "Who's going to lead you to safety?"

Wesley opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a glass ball which he proceeded to smash, causing an alarm to go off. "Get to the library. Anybody still in this room in ten seconds is getting an F on their term paper." The students fled, now even more frightened.

Wesley examined the now fully healed wound and then took off.

…

"You don't get to decide everything!"

"I'm your boss, so I kind of do!"

"You only hired me to kill you if you needed to die! Anyways, I quit!"

"Fine, go!"

Angel felt a light delicate hand on his shoulder and he spun around to grab it. Drusilla lit up at the look of rage on her sire's face. "Whip him now daddy. Show William who you are."

Angel was tempted to toss her aside, but he tried to calm down instead. "Dru,"

She sighed in disappointment. "The Angel-beast, always the Angel-beast."

Angel turned back to Spike, still with a firm grip on Drusilla. "Spike we can't keep her."

"Says you," Spike scoffed

"Do you have any idea what she did to Fred?" Angel asked through gritted teeth

"I know what you did to Fred. I know what you did to that sweet innocent bird and I can't believe you want to remind me of that right now. I hated you enough already I assure you."

"Drusilla killed Nina, I really liked her. She was an innocent young woman whose only crime was meaning something to me and Drusilla killed her while Fred had to watch."

"All of that was your idea!" Spike shouted

Angel averted his gaze. He couldn't deny Spike's accusation. "She's dangerous."

"You hired me to keep an eye on you. I can do the same for Dru."

Angel almost pitied him. "Spike-"

"She deserves another chance, just like us."

"Spike she doesn't have a soul."

"Neither did I when I went up against Glory!"

Before Angel could refute that excellent point the lights went out.

…

Xander was roused from his deep slumber by the sound of a baby's cry. He knew this dream backwards and forwards by now. Anya would come in nursing Alex Jr. and tell Xander that she'd gotten up early to make Xander bacon and eggs. She would kiss him and then just as he was feeling the happiest he could ever be he would wake up. But Anya didn't come in and Xander didn't wake up because he was already awake. He got up and shuffled into a kitchen that was much cleaner than he remembered it. Willow was shushing a baby. "You're still here."

Willow turned at the sound of Xander's listless voice and scowled. "Do you think you could put on something besides a pair of boxers? We have a young guest mister."

Xander went back into his room, abashed. He put on some pants and a shirt that didn't smell too bad. Willow hadn't just cleaned the kitchen, but the whole apartment. "How long did it take for you to do all of this?" Xander asked, stunned by her kindness

"Five minutes, I'm a witch remember."

Xander smiled at Willow and for a moment they were fifteen again. Then she produced two plates of pancakes and Xander eagerly dug into the real food. "What's with the baby?"

"This is Fred's and Wesley's daughter Evangeline." Willow said as she took some baby food out of her bag "I babysit her while they're teaching. I told Fred I would be out of the office for most of the day but that I could still watch Evi. I teleported back home this morning to pick her up and do some paperwork, but I'm yours for the rest of the day. What do you want to do?"

Xander was stunned. "Huh?"

Willow's face fell. Her fake cheer was proving too much to keep up. "I'm sorry."

"Willow-"

"I didn't know it was this bad. I didn't know it-"

"Because I hid this from you." Xander said "I hid it from all of you. I was embarrassed."

"What happened?" A tear dripped down Willow's face.

Xander wasn't ready to talk about it. He searched for another topic. "So Wesley the wimpy watcher had a kid huh? I wouldn't have thought him capable." Xander was unaware of how malicious he sounded until he had already spoken. He sighed. "So you guys are friends now or something?" He hoped that sounded better, inquisitive rather than spiteful.

"I guess we are."

"How'd that happen?"

"People change."

Xander remembered Wesley taking him to Cordy's grave and trying to be comforting even though Xander was being belligerent and insensitive. "I suppose they do."

"I think you should transfer."

Xander shook his head. "No,"

"Xander-"

"Buffy doesn't find out about this. I'll clean up my act. I'll stop drinking. I-"

"This isn't just about the drinking." Willow said "And it's not just about you. We split up to handle different jobs and we let ourselves grow apart. I miss you. I miss Buffy. I miss Dawn."

Xander shook his head. "I-" He sighed. "I think you should go."

"What?" Willow was stunned. The hurt on her face broke Xander's heart, but he couldn't back down because he couldn't explain. Before either of them could react further Willow pulled a flashing crystal out of her pocket and her eyes widened. "Oh no," She breathed "The school,"

Xander remembered the last time a school had a security breach. "What happened?"

"I don't know. A teacher broke an alarm orb. It could have been an accident."

"Or it could mean serious trouble." Xander said

Willow got to her feet and collected the baby. "Are you coming?"

Xander hesitated. "Well I can't very well let you rely on Wesley for back-up."

…

Lilah was all alone when the lights went out. She was lying in bed holding an icepack to her bruised face when the room was plunged into total darkness. She refused to feel fear, but that didn't mean she was happy about this turn of events. She couldn't see a thing. The first action she needed to take was finding a weapon. She got to her feet with the utmost care, feeling for anything in her way before resting her feet on the floor. She made her way to the cabinets and hunted around until she found a scalpel. That would have to do for now. When the door opened she hid the tool behind her back. "Hey Lilah, what's with the sharp pointy?" Harmony asked

Lilah managed to restrain her sigh of relief. "Who else is with you?"

"Gunn, Lorne went to find a flashlight. Say hey Gunn."

Lilah rolled her eyes as she put the weapon in her pocket. "What happened?"

"The lights- Ah!" Lilah pulled her scalpel back out at the sound of Harmony's distress and waited for the next catastrophe. "Vision," Harmony said "The lights, Knox did it."

"Should have killed him," Gunn mumbled

"Hindsight's twenty/twenty," Lilah said "Is he still in the building?"

"Oh yeah," Harmony said "He's got a bunch of weapons. He's totally going to take everybody out if we don't warn them. We should probably go find Lorne huh?"

"I'd say that's a priority." Lilah said "Where's the boss-man?"

"Fighting with Spike about Drusilla," Harmony said

"Remind me why he's in charge."

"Ancient prophecy," Gunn said

"Can you walk okay?" Lilah asked

"Don't worry about me."

"Remember you said that. All right, let's go."

The vampire and her human companions went looking for their demon friend.

…

Fred had seconds to react to the alarm before the door to her classroom crashed down and an athletic figure came in swinging a sword. Fred made a bee line for the weapons cabinet and was pulled out of the line of fire by one of her slayer students when the intruder threw a heavy chain in her direction. The chain hit the cabinet which fell to the ground. The glass door of the cabinet shattered, sending weapons scattering over the ground. This was a display cabinet, and everything in the cabinet was something Fred had made for a lesson. She picked up a sword with electric wires embedded in the blade and a nonconductive hilt. As the assailant made its way toward her several students also picked up weapons. The intruder batted one student aside, but another student sliced into the stranger's arm. Fred stared in shock when she saw among the flesh and blood wires and some kind of clear fluid. Before she had time to react to this a shot rang out and the intruder hit the ground, dead. Fred stared at the doorway. "Wesley!"

Wesley ran over to her. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, where are your students?"

"On the way to the library. We- is that thing a robot?"

"It appears to be. I could do an autopsy and-"

"Now might not be the best time honey." Wesley said "Don't you think?"

Fred nodded in reluctant agreement. "I have more bad news."

"Lovely,"

"Willow's not here today."

"So the extremely powerful witch who could cast a protection spell on everybody and then hunt these things down and get rid of them isn't here. Well that's bloody brilliant."

Fred smacked Wesley's arm. "Don't curse in front of the students."

"Am I not allowed to shoot things in front of them either?" He asked

"No, you can still do that. Let's get to the library."

…

Angel saw the figure only a moment before a wooden stake went flying through the air where he had been standing and then embedded itself in the wall. Angel grabbed Drusilla's arm and pulled her toward him, unable to override his protective instincts. As Angel, Spike, and Drusilla ran from the mystery assailant Angel looked back with his advanced vampire vision and saw someone wearing green goggles with several weapons and protective gear. "Knox,"

Spike groaned at Angel's declaration. "Can we kill him this time?"

"Yes," Angel spoke without hesitation even as a nagging voice in the back of his head reminded him of how Lilah had incurred the ire of an old one doing that and perhaps murder was not a good choice at the moment even if the victim had it coming in the worst way.

"Such fun we're having!" Drusilla cried

"Yeah, it's a day at the bloody carnival." Spike mumbled

…

Lorne was fiddling with the flashlight when his foot hit the tripwire and the heavy blade came swinging toward him. Lorne would have been dead if a body hadn't collided with him and sent them both to the ground. Lorne lay on his back completely stunned with Harmony on top of him, grinning. "You keep saving my life." Lorne said in a weak voice as Gunn ran over

"Do I get a reward?" Harmony asked

Lorne kissed her forehead. "I'll send you flowers."

"I like flowers." Harmony got to her feet and Gunn used his good hand to help Lorne to his feet. "I like peonies best. I also like roses, but those are more for romantic occasions."

"Please shut up." Lilah said

"You're just jealous because you don't get flowers."

"Yeah, I'm all torn up about it."

"Let's go find Angel and warn him and then find Knox, and kill him." Gunn said

"I second the motion." Lilah said

…

Xander almost wished the baby would cry as they stood in a deserted hallway of Willow's school. It would break up the total silence. "Follow me." Willow whispered

Xander carried the baby, who would not stop fidgeting, while Willow led the way with several charms in her hands. "Dow," The baby demanded "Dow-dow,"

"I think she wants me to put her down." Xander said

"I think I'll slap you silly if you do." Willow hissed

"Does that count as a word?" Xander asked

"Does it mean something?" Willow asked

"I don't think so."

"Then no," Then Willow gave him a winning smile. "But it's cute that you wonder."

"I like kids." Xander said "This one doesn't like me though." Xander looked at the baby's face. "Listen if this is about what I said about your dad, he and I go way back. See I was dating this girl back in Sunnydale. That's a town in California. So your dad shows up and-"

"Xander," Willow's stern whisper was lost in her giggles. "This is serious."

"Right, I'm serious." Xander gave Evi a stern look. "Are you serious?"

"Dow-dow," The baby insisted

"Willow said no. No-no dow-dow, not right now-now."

Willow tried to turn a laugh into a cough. "I'm gonna kick your a-but."

"Aunty Willow almost said a bad wooord." Xander whispered

…

"How many booby traps do you think he set?" Lorne asked

"I'm not the seer." Lilah said "How the hell should I know?"

They stopped as the flashlight beam fell on a form in a suit. "Hamilton," Gunn said

"Good to see you," Hamilton said "Well, that's not true."

"What do you want?" Gunn demanded

"I want to know why you destroyed our nice building."

"It wasn't us!" Harmony protested in a shrill voice

"It was your renegade employee." Gunn said "Knox must have gotten in the lab and he just went nuts. I never realized before how good at his job he was. Seems like I should have."

"He wasn't motivated before." Lilah said "He was a double agent whose most pressing concern was getting your friend into his bed. Now he has something he really wants to do."

"Oh, I know this!" Harmony said "Kill us,"

"Good job Harmony," Lorne said before Lilah could get a cutting remark in

"Anyway, not our fault." Gunn reiterated

"Maybe if you hadn't used all the firm's recourses keeping that bitch around you wouldn't be in this situation. Es is a fickle creature, and she will tire of this world as any child tires of their favorite cartoon. It will begin to look garish and silly. Then she will kill you all."

"Even those of us that are already dead?" Harmony asked

"Yes," Hamilton said "One small consolation."

"Well that's no good. What does killing us have to do with stars though."

"Conso- Never mind," Hamilton gave them his best insincere smile. "Find Es, kill her."

"You can't tell us what to do." Gunn said "Angel is still in charge."

"As Lilah informed you before the senior partners gave you this firm to stop the other old ones, now as you are not doing that it would seem they wasted an investment. You're already in the red and if you don't get rid of Es we might just take all of this away, or maybe bring the whole building down on top of your head. That is if vengeful ex-employees don't beat us to it."

"Is that all you came here to say?" Lilah asked

"No, I also came here to tell you that Es is in Japan."

…

"There's somebody." Xander said

The figure turned around. Willow's jaw dropped. "Faith?!"

Faith gave Willow that patented Faith grin. "Hey Glinda,"

"What are you doing here?" Willow asked

"Harmony, who gets these visions from the higher powers, she had this sense that y'all were in trouble. So Angel told me to pack up and get on the company jet to come save your asses from whatever vague threat Harmony saw. Where is everybody? Oh hey Xander, what's up?"

Xander gave Faith a hesitant wave. "Hey Faith,"

"Been a while,"

"Yeah, what with the whole you leaving thing."

"Sure," Faith returned her attention to Willow. "So everybody's…"

Three figures all in black jumped into view. Willow yelped before holding up a charm and muttering a few words. A green bolt of light hit a figure in the chest and it fell to the ground in a heap, alive but unconscious. Faith punched another figure in the face, sending him flying into the third figure. They lay prone on the ground. "We were attacked." Willow said "We were attacked and I wasn't here." Willow rubbed her face. "I have to find my students, my staff."

"Where would they go?" Faith asked

"Uh…" Willow tried to calm down. "The library."

"Then I say we go there." Faith said

"Yeah, let's do that." Willow said

Faith started to follow them. "Oh, I almost forgot." Faith grabbed the baby out of Xander's hands and then punched him hard enough to send him to the floor. Willow stared at Faith without comprehension. "What we have here Willow," Faith's skin, hair, eyes, and pretty much everything changed. In front of Willow stood a monster. "Is a failure to communicate."

"What are-"

Es put her finger to Faith's lips. "You like this baby don't you?"

"Oh God, please don't." Willow caught on quickly. "What do you want?"

"We're just going to go to the library so I can talk to my old friend."

"Okay, please don't hurt her."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Es stroked Evi's neck. "If you're good."

Willow led Es to the library while Xander lay on the ground trying to remain aware of the world around him while pain and disorientation competed for his attention. "Uhhh," He moaned

…

Wesley attacked one of the many trespassers invading the library. While slayers and teachers fought off the assailants the other students tried to seal the doors. There seemed to be an inexhaustible supply of attackers. Wesley wondered who had the recourses to not just create a killing machine of this sophistication but to create several of them and send them into a school full of well-armed fighters. More and more robots entered the library until the occupants had no choice but to surrender. As Wesley dropped his sword and put his hands in the air he scanned the room for Fred. Her arm was bleeding, but when Wesley put aside the sudden panic at the sight of her blood and did an objective analysis he saw that she was not too badly injured. Wesley saw no corpses on the ground, so that was something. When the robots had secured their prisoners Wesley saw the library doors open wider to allow three humans in. "You!" Wesley shouted

The one standing on the left gestured to a robot which punched Wesley hard enough to crack his ribs. They instantly healed, but it still hurt. "Hello Wesley," Weatherby said

"Weatherby," Collins said in a low menacing voice

"Of all the people to survive the bringer attacks," Wesley said "Figures,"

"We're here as official representatives of the _real_ council." Collins said

Wesley couldn't hold back his laughter. "That's rich, tell another one."

Collins sighed. "Okay Weatherby, but make sure he can still talk."

Weatherby moved away from the clump he was in with Collins and Smith, the three watchers who had tried to assassinate Faith, to approach Wesley. Weatherby punched Wesley in the face. Fred shouted in protest but was ignored. Weatherby drew back to punch again but then stepped back, shocked and appalled to see Wesley's split lip and busted nose had healed seconds after being inflicted. "What kind of black magic is this?" Weatherby asked "How'd you do that?"

Wesley spat some blood onto the floor. "Why did you come here? This is a school, it's full of innocent children. You endangered hundreds of lives to what end?" Wesley demanded

"We programmed the robots not to harm the innocent." Smith said

"One of them ran me through with a sword!" Wesley protested

"We programmed the robots not to harm the _innocent_." Weatherby reiterated

"Your father tried to warn you." Collins said "He came here to ask you to pick a side, but when he came back he said that you'd chosen to align yourself with the forces of darkness and there was nothing we could do for you. It's a shame to see such a brilliant mind go to waste."

"My father told you to kill me?" Wesley asked, trying and failing not to care

"Indeed he did, said it was better for his name to die than be carried by you."

Weatherby snickered. "Poor sod, having to share it with you all this time."

"Shut up!" Fred shouted from where she was being guarded by a robot

Weatherby turned to look at her and then turned back to Wesley. Wesley found the lecherous leer Weatherby wore extremely disquieting. "How did a ponce like you end up with a woman like that? Is there something wrong with her? Does she have a tail?" Weatherby grinned

Wesley struggled against the grip of a robot. "Go to hell Weatherby."

"All right," Collins said "It's time to do what we came here for. Where's the witch?"

"Oh boys!" All eyes were on the door which Faith was coming through carrying a baby and dragging Willow behind her. "Lookie what I found! It's the wicked witch of the west!"

"Faith?" Wesley was incredulous. "What are you doing?"

"Wesley," Willow said "It's-" Faith backhanded Willow and the witch fell to the ground.

"Hush," Faith said in a stern voice as blood dripped from Willow's mouth

Neither Wesley nor Fred could breathe as they watched Faith hold their delicate daughter in her strong arms. "Good job," Smith said "We were worried we'd have to turn this place upside down to find the bitch." Smith aimed a gun at Willow, intending to pull the trigger.

"No!" Fred cried out at the same moment that Faith put her hand on the gun and shoved it down, out of the trajectory that would kill Willow. Smith looked at Faith without understanding while Faith gave him a smile Wesley had never seen on her before. It was too… perfect.

"No need to go on a witch hunt." Faith giggled. "Get it, you were going to go hunting for a witch, so it would be a witch hunt. Jokes, they are an interesting invention ya know?"

Smith, Collins, and Weatherby all looked at Faith as though she had grown an extra head and that extra head was speaking incomprehensible nonsense. "We came here to kill the witch."

Faith nodded in response to Collins's statement. "I just can't help feeling that I forgot something important, like something really important. Did we leave the stove on?"

"Did the witch put a hex on you?" Smith asked

"You know that thing in the movies where you tell the captives all the stuff they have no way of knowing so that everyone's on the same page? Let's do that. Tell Wes why we're here."

"Why?" Collins asked

"Can't you just humor me?" Faith said in a seductive voice

Weatherby gave Faith another askew glance before returning his attention to one of his least favorite people. "We were already planning on going up against the renegade slayer and her posse of enchanted misfits." Weatherby said "But when Faith came to us and told us about the weapon the witch was working on we had to expedite our plan. The only way to save the world from the tyranny Buffy plans to inflict on it is to kill the witch before she finishes the weapon."

"Are you _high_?" Fred demanded "Willow isn't working on any weapon."

"Right," Faith rolled her eyes. "I made the whole thing up."

"It's ironic that the one who was once the most irredeemable of you is the one whose conscience prevented her from going along with your plans." Smith said "Faith has been most accommodating in helping us find a way around your defenses. We'd be lost without her."

"You're lying." Wesley said

Faith's eyes locked with his. "What's that sweetie?"

"Faith would never betray Angel, or Buffy. I don't know what's going on, but Faith did not go to the remnants of the old council and help them plan to take down Buffy. She wouldn't."

Faith laughed. "Darling, I beat the crap out of you and then sliced you open, is there really anything you think I'm not capable of? I've done unconscionable things. How can you think me capable of loyalty? Aren't you glad that I've been proven a wretched bitch that your friend never should have trusted? You can help them take me out. You can get vengeance."

Wesley stared at her. "Who are you?"

Faith walked over to Wesley and shoved him to his knees. Then she knelt down in front of him and examined his blue eyes. "I don't see her in there. Huh," Faith tilted her head at different angles, trying to get a glimpse of something. "Where is she?" Faith grinned at Wesley in the way one does when they are just glad to be alive. "Why did you forgive me?"

"What?"

"It can't be because of your own experience being unforgiven, you didn't remember it at the time. Was it an unconscious thing? Did the buried memory nudge you to forgiving me? Or do you really believe in your heart of hearts that I am reformed and that entitles me to forgiveness?"

Wesley looked into her dark eyes as searchingly as she looked into his. "I believe that every soul can be saved. I believe that you changed. You are loyal to Angel and I don't know what this is, but you wouldn't betray him. You were repentant, I saw it in you. I believe in you."

"Really?"

"Yes,"

"I bet she'd love to have heard that." Faith grabbed Wesley and pulled him from the grips of the robots, tossing him against the wall. "I have a theory." She took his hand and snapped his index finger. Wesley gasped in pain. He stared at the finger. It did not heal. "I knew it!" She was overcome with excitement. "Illyria was always so arrogant, but she's no more powerful than I."

Wesley's eyes widened. "Faith?" He whispered

"No sweetie, my name is Es."

Wesley watched her transform. "Oh no," He whimpered, his heart breaking for the slayer.

"I did such horrible things to her, worse than anything she did to you."

"But… Angel. Gunn, Lorne, what happened to all of them?"

"They live."

The watchers were stunned and unsure of how to react to their informant turning into a demon right before their eyes. Willow took advantage of everyone's shock to start chanting under her breath. Es reached out to touch Wesley's face. "Can I have my daughter?" He begged

Es considered. "Well since you asked so nicely." She handed Wesley the baby.

Wesley sighed with relief as he took his child. She gurgled in appreciation of being in her father's arms instead of the odd woman that had been holding her. Es watched the scene between father and daughter with fascination. His love for his child took over all of his emotions as he stared at the helpless creature with something like worship. The pain of his broken finger did not seem to bother him as he held his daughter. Es punched Wesley in the abdomen, shattering ribs that would not heal as the injury had been inflicted by an old one. Wesley did not see the strike coming and he fell to his knees again, but he did not drop his child. Willow chose that moment to complete her chant and the room was thrown into darkness. No one could see but Willow, who as the caster was immune to the spell, and Es, who did not need eyes to see. Wesley held onto his daughter, determined to keep her safe. The robots held onto their quarry. The watchers tried flashlights and matches that generated no light in the darkness of Willow's spell. The old one laughed with great joy. This was even more fun than she had anticipated.

…

Angel ran through some sort of sensor that felt like being tickled with feathers and had a sick feeling that everything was about to get so much worse. Then it did. The sprinklers in the ceiling went off, drenching the three vampires. Then every outlet and electrical device in the immediate vicinity started to spark. Knox had set up a complicated pattern of stripped wires, which turned the floor into a buzzing electric minefield. Drusilla giggled as the electricity entered her cold body, delighted. Spike was annoyed, but not overly upset. Electricity wouldn't kill a vampire. Angel was horrified. What if there was another trap like this and it got Gunn, Lilah, or Lorne? Angel didn't know if Pyleans might not be susceptible to electric shocks, but he really didn't want to find out. "We have to find the others!" Angel said "This will kill them!"

Drusilla laughed harder. "We never die!" She grabbed Spike and kissed him. The electric power jumped from one of them to the other. As their lips opened and closed against each other Angel saw blue lights dancing in their mouths. Spike held Drusilla in his arms like a lifeline as they shared the electricity and each other's passion. Angel wanted to shout at him, but then decided against it. He would go find his friends without Spike's help. He didn't need the other vampire, especially if he was going to do all of his thinking with his dick from now on.

…

They did their best to avoid the trip wires and sensors, but it was so hard with only flashlights to guide them. Lilah had only a millisecond between registering that she had set something off and feeling the cold metal enter her body. She didn't feel herself hit the ground nor hands stopping her descent. She felt nothing. She remembered when Illyria had grabbed her and torn out her throat. Then she had been in hell. She remembered the fire. She didn't want to go back there. She wanted to stay here. She wanted to feel, to breathe. She remembered the way the flames only ever licked you, never consumed you. It was always the beginning of the pain, the worst part, that they had to experience. Then they were off to the next torment before they had time to adjust to anything. She remembered the monotonous tasks and the things that drank from her. She remembered being torn to pieces and then waking up underwater, drowning before being thrown into a fire and then encased in ice. It was a blur. Things had begun to fade from her memory after returning to earth. But there was always the nagging fear in the back of her mind that she would close her eyes and then wake up there again. The worst part was knowing that she deserved it all. She was a rapist and a murderer. She had committed crimes not just against individual people, but against the human race. She had signed pieces of paper that she knew would lead to the gruesome deaths of inestimable numbers of people. She had made children orphans and stolen children from their parents, so their blood could fuel this monstrous machine she worked for, so the calendar pages could keep turning. She had hurt the person she loved…

…

Harmony saw the metal projectile fire, but it hit Lilah before she could react. Lorne took hold of Lilah, refusing to let her fall to the ground. Blood leaked from her mouth. "Lilah!"

Gunn felt a pang. He wasn't sure why. He didn't like Lilah, not really, but she was familiar and Pavayne had been right about one thing. We do crave the familiar. She worked with them, helped them achieve their aims. Her motives were questionable, but she was a constant in this place, useful, and comforting in her stable presence. "Lilah can you hear me?"

"I'm sorry." She mumbled "Don't make me go back. I'll do better."

"Lilah," Lorne whispered "Stay with us, we're going to help you."

"Necessary service to humanity…"

"We need to get her to the infirmary." Lorne said

"The one with no power?" Gunn said

"We have to do something!" Lorne insisted

"I could turn her." Harmony suggested cheerfully, prompting appalled expressions from Lorne and Gunn "Or we could not do that. Sheesh, no need to freak out on me."

"Don't make me go back." Lilah begged "Don wanna go back."

"What do we do?" Lorne whispered

"Wait here." Gunn said

Lorne watched Gunn start to go. "What are you doing?"

"Just wait here."

…

Angel was both relieved and terrified when he saw Gunn. He was relieved that Gunn was all right, or at least as all right as he had been the last time Angel saw him. But why was he alone, where was everyone else? "Gunn, what happened?" Angel ran over to his friend.

Gunn looked disappointed to see him. "Lilah got impaled."

Angel frowned. "So she's dead?"

Gunn shook his head. "We have to save her." He said in an impassioned tone

"How?" Angel wondered why Gunn cared so much.

"If Pavayne is still in the building-"

"What?! Are you crazy?"

"We can't just let her die." Gunn said

"Look, I don't _want_ Lilah to die, but… it's Lilah."

"What happened to saving every soul we can? She wants to find redemption, but she can't if she's dead. She can help us. She has helped us, over and over, without recognition."

"So maybe she has found redemption." Angel said

"Do you believe that?" Gunn asked

Angel looked away. "Gunn we have an old one, and all of this other-"

"Do you know why I stuck with Wesley and Cordy after you walked out?"

Well that was random. "What?"

"Do you know why I stuck with the mission when you went dark?"

Angel shook his head.

"I believed. Before I met you it was just about hurting. It was about me hurting them until I earned the right not to have to hurt anymore. I wanted to be with my sister and I thought if I took out enough vamps I would get that. Then you were there with a bunch of nonsense about saving souls and two skinny white suburbanites who somehow managed to be two of the bravest people I ever met. If it meant something… It never had before. You give people hope, you make them believe in your mission, in you. You can't just walk away after that. I walked away from heaven and Alonna because I believe in you. After all the times you fucked up I still believe in you because you're that guy. You're a real hero. You care. So save her, because that's what Angel would do. He cares so much, for every soul. He finds the lost. Find her."

Angel stared at Gunn. "She's not Faith. Saving her won't save Faith."

"You don't know that." Angel watched tears leak down Gunn's face.

"Let's go find Pavayne." Angel said


	4. Sentiment

Xander opened his eye. Well he _thought_ he opened his eye. It seemed he hadn't because he was in total darkness. He closed his eye and opened it again. Perhaps he had hit his head so hard he now had brain damage and was blind. At least he wasn't deaf, then he would have twice as many handicaps. But Xander sensed that more was going on. Xander got to his feet and reached for the wall. He started to walk down the hall, using the wall as his guide. He had to find Willow and the baby. He had to… Faith! Faith had shown up and hit him. It seemed that Faith was back on the dark side, but that… That didn't make any sense. Faith had gone to work for Angel because she thought it was wrong of them to betray his trust, why would she now be here knocking him out and kidnapping Wesley's baby? It didn't make any sense. What was going on?

"Xander," A voice whispered in his ear

Xander spun around. "Faith?" He reached out, trying to feel her.

"I abandoned you." The soft voice said "Like everyone always does."

"Where are you?" Xander asked "I can't see you."

"But you're the one who sees, like Caleb said. What happened?"

"Why'd you hit me?"

A hand rested on his shoulder and ran down his arm. He reached for it, but it was gone the second he did. "All these lost children, don't you long for simpler days?"

His heart sped up. "Faith, what's going on?"

"Remember when you were young, and had not a care?"

"Where are you?! What happened to the baby?"

…

"We ran into Hamilton." Gunn said "He told us where Es is."

Gunn and Angel walked side by side, shining flashlights into corners. "Where?"

Gunn sighed. He didn't want to tell Angel because he knew the vampire would freak out, but Angel needed to know. "He said she's in Japan, but before you freak out I want to remind-"

"What?!" Angel had his cellphone out and was pressing buttons.

"We don't have any cell service." Gunn said with what he thought was a great deal of patience considering how dense Angel was being "Knox got rid of that with the lights."

"We have to warn them!" Angel insisted "Why is this not the first thing you said?"

"First of all, Wesley is pretty much immortal because of that healing thing. Also Willow is there and she's the most powerful witch in the world; she can handle any situation that might arise way better than we can. Lastly, we don't even know if Es went after Wes and Fred."

"Why else would she be in Japan?" Angel demanded

"This is why I didn't want to tell you. We're stuck here until we get rid of Knox, so there's nothing we can do for Wes and Fred. We have to focus on the people we can help."

Angel clenched his fists. Then he slowly relaxed. Gunn was right. At the moment all they could do was find the people Es had set loose and stick them back in their cages before they caused any more damage. "How are we going to fix this place?" Angel asked

"I don't know."

"So what are we going to do when we find Knox?"

"Right now I'm focused on Pavayne." Gunn said

Angel took a moment to carefully choose his words. "When you explained your plan you sort of skipped over the part where you convince Pavayne to use his sorcery to fix Lilah."

"I'm going to make a deal with him, and if that doesn't work, threaten him."

"Care to share?"

"No,"

"Gunn…" Angel struggled to find a way to broach the topic without entering into another knock-down drag-out. "About Faith, what you did… You put a lot of people in danger."

"Like Cordy did when she refused to kill Wes?" Gunn asked

"No one was going to kill Faith." Angel protested

"What she was going through was worse than that. Es made her relive Kakistos torturing her first watcher. She made her relive being abused by her mom and…" Gunn was struggling to speak through the burn of repressed sobs in his chest. "It was so awful Angel, all of it."

"I know,"

"You can't. There's no way you can imagine how awful it was if you weren't there."

Angel started to object, but then thought better of it. "We all have histories."

"She told her to run."

"Who?" Angel had no idea what Gunn was talking about.

"Faith's watcher was dying and she told Faith to run, live another day. Faith has been carrying around the guilt of leaving her all this time and no one ever… helped her."

"She's a reserved person." Angel said "She likes to keep things to herself."

"So that makes it okay? I keep wondering… What if before what happened with Conner one of us had asked Wesley about his crappy childhood? What if before Fred went after her professor we had asked her more about Pylea? Why do we just let things… lie?"

Angel was having trouble putting one foot in front of the other. This was a question Angel had never considered, but now that it was out he felt as though it had always been weighing on him. "I don't know. Some people don't like to talk about their baggage."

"That's worked out really well for us, huh?"

…

Fred struggled against the grip of her captors. Their hands tightened on her arms, bruising her tender flesh. She heard two loud impacts and then she was free. A small soft hand was on her arm, helping her to her feet. "What-" A finger was on her lips, warning Fred of the danger of attracting attention. Fred followed the hand to where it led her. Soon they stopped and the hand was putting Fred's own hand on a man's arm. He jumped. "Wesley it's me." Fred recognized Wesley even when she couldn't see him. She moved her hand until she found her baby.

"Is that Willow with you?" Wesley whispered

"Yeah,"

"What the hell happened to Faith?"

"I don't know." Willow said "You guys get the baby out of here. I'll wait thirty seconds before I start taking out robots. You should be safe out in the hall."

"Go after Collins and his goons first." Wesley said "That might put a stop to the robots."

"You think?"

"Worth a shot," Wesley said

"What about the students?" Fred said

"They'll be fine as long as they run away from the loud noises instead of towards. I just got you guys first because I'm worried if Evi starts crying that will attract robots to you."

"Be careful." Fred said

"Xander is out in the hall. If you come across him try to help him."

"What's Xander-" Wesley started

"Go," Willow demanded

…

Lilah was lying on the ground. Fresh grass tickled her cheek and she was staring at a pink cat on a tree branch. "Am I dead?" She asked the feline in the massive oak

"No, if you were dead you'd be in hell. You're hallucinating."

"Yes, of course."

"Do you know what's happening to you?"

Lilah's eyes scanned the skyline. "Is this Wonderland?"

"Lilah, you've been badly hurt."

Lilah ran her hand over the grass. "It all seems so pointless now. I had so much power, but in hell I was working alongside everyone else. I was nobody. The only thing left of me was my legacy on earth. Pain and death is all that I am. But the second time was different."

"Is that enough?" The Cheshire cat asked

"What would my mother think of me, if she knew what I had done?"

…

"Should we take that thingy out of her?" Harmony asked

"No," Lorne said "That will increase the bleeding. We just have to stay with her until Gunn gets back with help. She'll be okay until then." Lorne smoothed Lilah's sweaty hair

"How do you know?"

"I don't know. I just believe in the power of positive thinking."

Lilah groaned. "What have I done?" She shivered in Lorne's grip

"Shh, sweet pea, you're going to be all right."

…

Xander flinched as her hands settled on him and then disappeared before he could react to Faith's touch. "How old were you when you realized that something was wrong?" Faith asked

"What do you mean?"

"All of those missing people and mangled corpses, when did you realize it was strange?"

"I don't know. Faith, what did you do with Willow and the baby?"

"I returned the child to her father. Do you ever wonder why you are alive?"

Xander shivered. He wanted to lie, but he couldn't. "Yes,"

"Your best friend from growing up is dead, your soul mate it dead, so many people have lost their lives. Yet you live Xander Harris. Do you wish that it were otherwise?"

"Who are you?"

"I am whoever you think I am."

"Well you're not Faith."

"Did it bother you that she abandoned your cause for the vampire's?"

"Why am I answering all of these questions? Why don't you answer some of mine?"

There was a pause, then a hardy laugh. "All right,"

"What's your name?"

"My name is Es. Did it hurt you when Faith left?"

"Yes, I felt betrayed. Are you human?"

"No, I am older than that concept. Do you wonder why people abandon you to flock to the flawed creature that is the vampire? Does it bother you that your friends love him?"

"Yes, I don't think he's worthy. Why do you look like Faith?"

"I wear her body like a designer suit. Are you worthy?"

"No, but neither is he." Xander's heart was in his throat. "Is Faith dead?"

The pause was too long. A million dreadful possibilities ran through his head. "Why do you humans forgive those who have wronged you? She tried to kill you. Why do you care?"

"It's my turn." Xander protested

Xander felt himself be grabbed and thrown against the wall. "I could end you now."

Her menacing whisper entered his ear with her breath; that was how close she was when she spoke to him. He felt her incredible strength and knew that whatever this thing was it was not human and it was very dangerous. "I know, go ahead." He said with great sincerity and softness

"Do you wish to die?"

"I don't have a preference either way. So answer my question or kill me."

Faith's mouth was right on his ear. "She exists in me."

"What does that mean?"

"Ask the former watcher." She was gone and Xander could hear voices.

"Hello!" He called

"Xander?" That was Wesley's voice.

Xander spoke with no emotion. "Do you know what happened to Faith?"

"No, I-" Xander used the man's voice to determine his location. Xander grabbed Wesley's shirt and shoved him against the wall. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"You're a liar! What happened to Faith?!"

In the distance he heard a baby's wails cutting through the inky darkness.

…

Angel stood still in the empty hall. "I don't think we're going to find him."

For a moment Angel thought Gunn hadn't heard him. "He'll come when I'm alone."

"I'm not leaving you alone to be ambushed by the guy who tortured you, especially not when you're in this condition. We find him together or we don't find him at all." Angel said

Gunn turned to look at Angel and Angel saw the tears. "I have to do this."

"Gunn you don't have to save Lilah to make up for not being able to save Faith."

"No, I have to save Lilah to prove that me coming back meant something, and because what happened to her is my fault. I let Es out, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I'd do almost anything to save Faith, even sacrifice a fellow human being. But I accept culpability for the consequences. I'm responsible for fixing the damage that has been done, and I will."

Angel shook his head. "I'm not leaving you."

"Please Angel, I have to do this."

"Then I'm doing it with you. You were right about what you said earlier. Somehow I forgot that the reason I started doing this was to save souls. That's still the reason. Even after everything Lilah has done we still have to give her a chance. So we'll do this, together."

A dark chuckle interrupted their conversation. "How touching,"

…

Lilah sat at a table in a bar with Wesley. She knew this was just a dream, just random thoughts and memories coming together as her life slipped away, but it was so very good to see him again. "I missed you." She said "You didn't remember me. That hurt my feelings."

"I didn't want to remember you." The dream Wesley said

"Why couldn't you love me? You still loved Angel after he hurt you."

"Sometimes intentions are more important than actions, and sometimes it's the opposite."

Lilah sipped her drink. "I saved your life, but first I hurt you. Which counts for more?"

"Morality cannot be quantified Lilah."

"So how do I know when I've become a good guy?"

"When you decide to be one," Wesley said "When you are doing the right thing because it is right, not because you're trying to balance a scale or get something that you want."

"I see." She considered this. "Do I need to make amends?"

"Where would you even begin?"

…

Willow almost felt bad about how easy it was to take out her now effectively blind adversaries, almost. Then she remembered that they attacked her school. Taking out the robots was like shooting fish in a barrel. They could not counter her attacks because they couldn't see her, and they couldn't escape because their last order had been to keep everyone in the library so they weren't able to leave the room and comply with orders. The three members of the old council that had come with the robots were hiding under the table, Willow decided to deal with them after she had broken all of their toys and they were powerless. Willow was stunned by how little time this took. When she was done with the robots the lights returned. Relieved students and teachers flocked to her, singing her praises. "Where do you think you're going?"

Collins, Weatherby, and Smith were trying to discreetly sneak out. Willow raised her hand and the three were yanked toward her as if by an invisible string. They landed in a heap at her feet. "You bitch," Weatherby moaned as he rubbed his sore ribcage "You'll regret this."

"I rather doubt that." Willow's eyes went black. "How dare you come to my school and threaten my students and my friends? You will rue not just this day, but the day of your birth."

As the staff and students of the Tokyo slayer/watcher academy observed their usually sweet-tempered affable principal they all believed her. Her tone was even, her voice hard and cold, these three would not be getting off easy. "Do your worst." Collins said

All three of them were afraid. They knew how powerful their robots were, this woman had taken them all out single-handedly. She was a force to be reckoned with. But they refused to show their fear. "Tie them up." Three slayers rushed forward to comply. "Is everyone all right?"

…

Angel faced Pavayne. "Hey,"

"Very eloquent." Pavayne said

"I don't know the proper greeting for a mass-murdering psychopath who makes a habit out of hurting my friends. Hey seemed the safest way to go." Angel explained

"We've been looking for you." Gunn said

"I noticed." The cold smile on Pavayne's face made Angel shiver.

"Those people, the ones that came to you. You didn't kill all of them. You must have helped some people so that they would send more customers your way. Probably you saved the rich and mutilated the poor. You have the capability to heal Lilah, and you will do it." Gunn said

"Will I?"

"You have something I want, and I have something you want."

"What's that?" Pavayne asked

"I'll show you heaven. How it looks, how it feels, I'll let you look inside my head and live out the memory, the sensation of salvation. I know you're curious, and this is the only way that you'll ever find out. But you have to sing for Lorne and prove you'll save Lilah."

"I see no benefit to me taking this deal." Pavayne said

"The benefit is that if you don't take it we'll put you in a new cell. This one won't keep you in stasis, you'll age, and you'll have access to the best medical care available. You can look forward to seventy years of ageing. You won't be able to play, not with anyone. You won't have any human contact as you wither away and go slowly mad. If you do the deal then when all obligations have been fulfilled we'll execute you, and you can go back to the way things were before Fred recorporealized you. You can haunt this place until the end of the world."

Angel gaped at Gunn. "I didn't agree to-"

"Shut up Angel." Now Angel knew why Gunn had looked disappointed to see him.

Pavayne locked eyes with Gunn. "Do you think because you were granted access to heaven once your place there is now secure? You may yet damn yourself with these actions."

"I may yet, but that's none of your concern."

"I accept your offer."

…

"Let go of him!" Xander heard the woman's voice, Fred was her name, but only in a very distant way. He was aware of her, but her presence didn't really register.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" Wesley demanded

"You're going to tell me what happened to Faith! That thing said you know!"

"I most certainly do not!" Wesley protested "Let go of me!"

"Faith was with Angel. You're bosom buddies with him. You expect me to believe Angel didn't keep you posted on what's been going on in L.A.?" Xander shook Wesley

Wesley's shattered ribs from where the old one had punched him sent out electric signals of agonizing pain every time Xander shook him. "I haven't spoken to Angel since I got here."

"Why should I believe that?" Xander asked

"Because it's the bloody truth!"

Before Xander could respond someone, Fred he supposed, punched him in the face, startling him and making him drop Wesley. The invisible attacker hit him again, and Xander reached out and grabbed the fist. He heard a yelp of pain as the lights came back. He found himself holding a woman's wrist in a painfully tight grip while she held a wailing baby in her other arm. Wesley was struggling to get to his feet as well as struggling to breathe. Fred stared at Xander, her fear evident. Xander dropped her hand as though it were on fire. "I'm sorry."

Wesley had managed to get to his feet and he put his hand on Fred's shoulder, his eyes bleeding concern. "Are you all right?" He asked her, oblivious to the pain of his own injury

Fred tore her eyes away from Xander and looked at Wesley. Her expression immediately softened in a way that was painfully familiar. Xander remembered getting Anya's attention in the middle of one of her many fierce battles with a customer or acquaintance. She would look at him and often the fury would drain away. His presence reminded her of the deep love she carried around, a love that was for him, and her anger seemed dim in comparison. Xander wondered if he had ever told her how happy it made him to see that love in her eyes. If he had, leaving her at the altar had probably overcome the memory for her anyway. Xander blinked away tears as Fred responded to the man she loved. "I'm fine, we're fine. What about you?" She took his hand.

"I'm all right. The lights are back on, so Willow was probably successful in her efforts."

"Good," Fred said "Good,"

"I uh…" Wesley looked at Xander as the younger man struggled to find words. Fred did not, and Xander felt that this was very much intentional. "I'm sorry. Seeing… that, it was…"

"I understand." Wesley said

"I don't." Fred turned around to face Xander. "What's your problem?"

"Faith was my friend." Xander said "I need to know what happened to her."

"She's our friend too." Fred said "We're worried about what happened to her, but we aren't going around attacking innocent people for answers they don't have, are we?"

"Fred," Wesley said softly in an attempt to mollify her

"We should-" Fred cut herself off and both she and her fiancé stared at something behind Xander, which he turned around to see. It was Es, she was back. Xander clenched his fists.

"What are you doing here?" Wesley asked "What do you want?"

"She's so powerful." Es said "The witch,"

"Leave Willow alone." Fred said

"And what will you do if I don't? If you intend to cut my head off I assure you that you will have a much more difficult time of it with me than with Illyria. Don't fret though, I bear you no grudge for the murder of my kinswoman. I never liked her, although in my time I do not think such a concept existed. Perhaps I would have liked her. I doubt it. I do not like her memory."

Wesley stared at her. "You're nothing like Illyria, are you?"

"We are all different." Es said

"Illyria, she just wanted to destroy, to hurt. What do you want?" Wesley asked

"Illyria was only concerned with ownership when she awoke. But much like myself she did not understand this world. To be certain of her possession she would have to destroy this world, for if she is all that remains she is the only possible claimant of a world with no one else in it to contest that claim. But I have no desire to burn a house down so that I can be sure that it is mine. I want to walk in the halls and live in the rooms. So I must learn how to own the world without destroying it before I can stake my claim. I must learn how to turn this place into something that I will love, something that gives me what I want. This is a place of learning, no?"

Wesley tried to process this. "Why did you set the old council on us?"

"I wanted to understand."

"Understand what?"

"You do now what they did before. Why do they contest you? Are they not glad that someone has taken on the task they can no longer perform? Why do they not aid you?"

"They disapprove of our methods." Xander explained

"Huh," Es looked around. "I thought that I would learn something from a meeting with Illyria's host. But he is just another mortal man. There is nothing unique about him."

"Yes there is." Fred said

Es locked eyes with her. "What can you possibly see that a superior creature such as myself cannot? What can your mortal senses pick up that an old one is blind to?"

"You can't know someone just by looking at them." Fred said

"Why not?"

"Because what's important about a person is their soul. It's what they keep inside."

"Huh," Es considered this. "How do I look at a soul?"

"You do it by getting to know a person." Fred said

"Does that baby have a soul?"

Fred held her daughter closer to her chest. "Yes,"

"Do you know her?"

"Yes,"

"Tell me about her then."

Fred paused. "I don't understand."

"Tell me about her soul."

"She's just a baby." Fred said, trying to make sense of the request

"But you said you know her, so you must know what her soul is like."

"It takes a long time to get to know someone. It takes a long time to even get to know your own self. I've been alive for a few decades, but I still don't know myself completely."

Es stepped forward. "You speak with such confidence about things you now confess to know nothing of. You are very arrogant for one who speaks to a superior being." Es loomed over Fred in a threatening manner. Wesley stepped in front of Fred. Es laughed. "I can hurt you mortal, you who are safe from almost all the threats in the world. You now choose to stand in front of the one thing that can kill you. Why would you do such a stupid thing?"

"To protect the woman I love." Wesley said simply, thinking it obvious

Es laughed. "How uninspired," She grabbed Wesley's throat.

"Wesley!" Fred squeaked

"I have seen the basest of human depravity. I have seen in the head of this young mortal acts of cruelty that defy any reason. I have seen who you are when you leak." Es scratched Wesley on the face, leaving four long bleeding wounds and causing Fred to cry out his name again in protest. "You know things, but yet you offer to me the most generic sentiment, the self-sacrificing love your culture lauds with such unearned affection. You are truly pathetic."

"Leave him alone." Xander said

Es turned her head. "Why do you care?" She asked

"You're making fun of us for our capacity to love, but you disdain our cruelty?"

Es dropped Wesley. Fred knelt next to him while he gasped for air. "Yes, what of it?"

Xander made and maintained eye contact with Es. "Our sentiments are our strengths."

"Your sentiment nearly killed you." Es argued

"Which only proves how powerful it is, that it can kill."

"Or how weak you are." Es said

"You have all of Faith's memories?"

"All of them,"

"Am I weak?"

Es approached Xander and reached out to touch him, stopping her hand a centimeter away from his face. "I don't know. All of the meanings of the words have changed. In my time none of these words existed, but I find now reality depends on them. But they have varied and conflicting meanings. My language was action, but words are… What is this?"

"What is what?"

"I am feeling an… emotion."

"Describe it."

…

Faith and Buffy lay side by side in the meadow. "What's wrong?" Faith asked

"How do you know something's wrong?" Buffy asked

Faith turned over and looked at Buffy's sad face. "How are my friends?"

Buffy sighed. "Can't you just forget them?"

Faith shook her head. "Are they all still alive?"

"I'm talking to Xander." Buffy said "He is making me feel an emotion."

"What is it?"

"I didn't know I could feel emotions. What does it mean that I can?"

"Anything that can feel has emotions." Faith said "Anything that thinks has emotions in one form or another. Otherwise we would be constant. But we are not. We are pulled."

The meadow was a beach now. "Like the tides," Buffy said "We are the tide and the moon pulls us to and fro. But what is strong enough to push and pull one such as me?"

"Tell me about your emotion."

"You know knowing?"

Faith nodded, running her fingers through the sand. "I do."

"It is the opposite of that." Buffy said as Faith traced a pattern

"Confusion," Faith said simply, not even needing time to consider

"I don't like it."

"I'm sorry," Buffy looked at Faith's pattern, a sun surrounded by planets

"What do we orbit Faith?" Buffy asked

Faith put her hand on Buffy's face and then leaned in to kiss her. "Whatever we love."

…

Es slapped Xander so hard he went flying down the hall. "I tire of games." Then she was gone and Xander was on the ground, moaning. Wesley and Fred ran to him.

"Are you all right?" Wesley asked while Fred helped Xander to his feet

"That's the last time I try to outthink something that can outpunch me."

"We should find Willow." Fred said

The scream that echoed down the corridor right after Fred said that brought every one of them to their knees. Windows shattered all over the building along with glass cases, dining ware, and any other glass object. The occupants of the library were similarly felled and soon everyone was writhing on the ground in pain. Es stood outside, explaining what she wanted to the leader of the demonic clan whose members were now pouring into the building, screaming their terrible debilitating screams. No one was to die, but they would all suffer. They would pay for her displeasure not because they were guilty, but because someone had to pay for it and she wasn't going to do it herself. Meanwhile she wanted to rest, she was tired for the first time in her being.

…

"Bethany?"

The young woman turned around and scowled at Lilah. Lilah reminded herself that nothing here was real, but Bethany looked real. "What do you want from me?"

"Nothing," Lilah said quickly "I think you're here so I can apologize to you."

"What are you apologizing for?"

"I used you. I'm sorry."

The young telekinetic approached Lilah, her fists clenched. "You did so much more than that you vile bitch. You made me trust you, you made me like you. You created a version of yourself that was kind and my friend and then you killed her by proving that she had never been, making it a little hard to mourn. How many versions of yourself have you killed?"

Lilah stared. "What?"

Lilah gasped as she sat up. She had been rudely pulled back into reality. She stared at the people in front of her. Maybe this was just another hallucination. But the terrible pain vibrating through her body and the cruel darkness that pressed down on her felt too real for this to be anything but the harsh reality she called home. "Are you all right Lilah?" Gunn asked

Lilah closed her eyes. The Cheshire cat, Wesley, Bethany, it had all been nothing more than a product of her imagination. None of it was real, she should just ignore it. "No,"

"What's wrong?" Gunn sounded worried. She wished she could tell him he shouldn't.

"I have to go." Lilah got to her feet, stunned that she could.

Pavayne was staring at her. "As you can see, I completed my end of the bargain."

"Lilah could you give me a quick song?" Lorne asked "Just so we're sure."

Pavayne, Angel, Gunn, Lorne, Harmony, they were all watching her. What the hell had been going on since she got impaled? Lilah put her hand on her head. "I have to go."

Gunn gave Pavayne a dirty look. "You screwed up."

Lilah stared at him. "You… you wanted me to live?"

"Of course," Angel answered for Gunn. "You're on the team."

Lilah shook her head. "Not anymore, you can stop me if you want on account of the fact that you own my soul, but I have to leave. So please let me go. I have to do something."

Lorne spoke up. "I think it worked Gunn. I think she's okay."

"Then why is she acting funny?" Harmony asked

"I think our little Lilah just had herself an epiphany." Lorne said

"Regardless," Angel said "None of us are going anywhere until we catch Knox and make him undo whatever he did to the building. I doubt that will be happening anytime soon, especially with Spike goofing off somewhere with Dru." As he said that the lights came back on.

They all blinked, trying to adjust to the sudden change. "What the hell?" Gunn said

Spike appeared dragging a bound and gagged Knox behind him. "Hey,"

Lilah snickered. "You were saying?"

Dru entered, a big smile on her face. "Daddy's going to let me eat the mean man."

Angel scowled. "No I'm not. We're putting him-"

"Ahhhh!" Harmony fell to her knees. "Oh, oh, oh!"

"What do you see?" Angel asked, not overly concerned with her pain

"It's Fred. There are demons. They are going to kill her."

They all froze. For a moment nothing was real and time was moving like molasses dripping from a small hole, slow enough to not be moving at all. Then the world snapped into place and everything was happening at a million miles a minute. "We have to go now."

Spike nodded in response to Angel's assertion. "Let's kill the prisoners and go."

The bound Knox was shaking his head and trying to speak through his gag. "We don't kill humans." Lorne said "We stick them in the cages and then we take the company jet-"

"There's no time." Spike said

"I'll handle it." Lilah said "Go,"

"Lilah-" Angel began

But Lilah interrupted what he was going to say by pulling a scalpel out of her pocket and shoving it into Pavayne's throat. She sliced across his throat, sending a waterfall of blood cascading down his neck and chest. Dru rushed forward and grabbed the body, lapping up the liquid like it was melted ice cream dripping down a waffle cone. Angel advanced to stop her and then hesitated. Angel grabbed Knox and threw him to ground in front of Lilah. "Let's go."

Gunn and Lorne stared at Angel. "We're just-" Lorne started

Angel was already walking down the hall. Spike grabbed Drusilla's arm and then went after her sire. Gunn took Harmony's arm and hauled her to her feet. "Wait for us!"

Lorne turned his gaze to Lilah. "Lilah, don't-"

She cut Knox's throat. "Go on green jeans, you can't help me find my destiny, but maybe there's somebody where you're going who needs you. But you better hurry up." Lorne looked at the young man bleeding to death right in front of him. "Don't worry about me." Lilah said

Lorne didn't leave, he fled. He wanted as far away from Lilah as possible.

…

At first this had been fun. Es sat down outside the school, leaning against the wall while she thought. She closed her eyes. She pondered if she could sleep. Probably not. Initially she'd been drunk on the sheer sum of entropy. Now she was drowning in it. She felt purposelessness heavy on her shoulders. She wanted to do, but every action would be for the sake of retaining a momentum. Gravity pulled her down, decreasing her acceleration. She was going slower and slower, soon she would be falling. She had set all of those demon clans on the school because she thought the magnitude of unpredictability would feed her enough to rid her of the exhaustion weighing her down. But it all seemed so pointless. She just wanted to sleep, which she was incapable of doing. She looked inward, but even there was pointless. Faith was sleeping next to the fake Buffy. Es had examined every piece of Faith there was, now what was she supposed to do with this mind? What was she supposed to do with this body? What could she?

…

Fred felt herself being dragged down a hall. She didn't know where her baby was, she didn't know where Wesley was. All she knew was that the pain in her head was unbearable and that it had to stop. Sharp marble teeth with yellow spittle dripping out from between them loomed over her. She lashed out, hitting just above the teeth. Something broke under her fist, maybe a nose. It dripped a blue-green blood. Faith brought her knees to her chest and kicked the creature, toppling it over. Oh the screaming, it was too much. She was going to pass out.

…

Fighting the urge to pass out was taking all of Willow's strength. Her hand clenched into a fist around a charm. She knew what she had to say, but opening her mouth to speak would take more energy than she had. A demon came into the library. It sniffed the air and then approached a young woman writhing on the ground. It was going to kill her. Willow clenched her fist even harder, causing her nails to dig into her skin. Blood welled up on the wounds. The demon turned its head, noticing her. It was attracted by the blood. Willow was glad that it would kill her before her students, she didn't want to see them suffer. Then she realized how ridiculous that was, they would die whether she saw it or not. Willow got to her feet and held up the charm. She spoke in a booming voice as she banished the screams from the building. The silence that followed was the loudest Willow had ever heard. But the demons were still there, and still hungry.

…

Xander kicked and squirmed, trying to keep the demon on top of him from tearing into his throat. It sank its teeth into Xander's arm. Xander screamed in pain. The demon was thrown from his body. Xander clutched his bloody arm and then looked around for whatever was big and scary enough to take on the monster that had been preparing to eat him. Two of the guys from Angel's team, the demon and the black guy, were standing over him. Xander wracked his brain for their names. Gunn, Gunn and Lorne. Gunn reached out to give Xander a hand and he took it with the hand not attached to a torn-up arm. "Thank you," Xander said

"Do you know where Fred is?" Gunn demanded

Xander looked around. "She was right here. Her and Wesley and Evi were…"

Xander trailed off as he took in all the blood in the hall. "Please tell me that's all mine."

…

Wesley had a demon's foot on his chest, pressing down on his cracked ribs. Every time the ribs broke further they healed to the point that they were as they had been after Es had done such extensive damage to them. So as the weight of the demon pressed down on him his ribs were breaking and healing over and over again. The demon held his daughter in one massive hand, close to his massive teeth. She wailed and wailed. "Hey!" Another demon said "She said we aren't allowed to kill any of them. Did you see the power in her? We don't want to piss whatever she is off. I haven't seen a demon that powerful in… ever." The demon said

The demon holding Evi and crushing Wesley growled. "If she's so powerful why isn't she in here herself? I bet that power we thought we saw was just a glamour. Come on, it's a baby, how often do you get to eat one of those these days? She's so tiny, it probably won't even notice she's gone. And if she does we'll pin it on somebody else. We can share her."

"No," The protesting demon said

"If I do eat her, what are you going to do about it?"

…

Fred ran and ran. She had a stitch in her side. She couldn't keep this up. The demons were right behind her. If she so much as slowed she was dead. If she tripped she was dead. If she passed out she was dead, but it probably wouldn't hurt as much. She felt hands grab her and pull her into a room. She was being held close to a cold body with a cold arm wrapped around her waist and a cold hand over her mouth. She recognized this body that was holding her still and forcing her to be quiet. She tried to scream, she thrashed against the body's grip. "Fred, it's me Angel, I'm not going to hurt you." She knew that voice. "Fred stop, they'll hear you and I can't fight that many by myself. Please be quiet." She tried to fight, but Angelus was too strong.


	5. Old Friends

Angel tried to hold Fred still as they stood in the empty room. He could smell the demons on the other side of the door, trying to figure out where she had gone. Fred was trying to scream and Angel had to press his hand harder on her mouth. He hated himself for doing this to her, but there were about a dozen demons out there. There was no way he could protect her from that many teeth and claws if they heard her. The demons were walking away, off to search another location for their prey. Angel pushed Fred against the wall so he could look at her face, she was so terrified. "Fred I'm going to let you go, but you can't scream. The demons will hear you and they'll come back. It's Angel, not Angelus. I swear I'm not going to hurt you." Angel promised

He watched her calm down. She stopped struggling and after a moment she nodded to indicate understanding. Angel took his hand off of her mouth. There was a red handprint where he had pressed down on her mouth hard enough to stifle her shouts. "Angel?" She asked

"Oh God Fred, I'm so sorry. I'm so- Please forgive me." He begged "Those demons were after you and I had to get you away. I'm sorry I scared you. I'm sorry I-" Angel looked away while he tried to hold back tears. This was the first time he had seen her since Angelus had left her at Nina's house. He looked at her and all he could see was what he had done to her, how he had made her suffer for the pleasure of it. He remembered how warm she was and what her blood tasted like. He could smell her and she smelt like food. Now he had hurt her again.

Fred was panting. "You saved me." She whispered

"I'm so sorry." He said in an even quieter voice

Fred looked away. "I was scared and hopped up on adrenaline so I panicked. You were just trying to keep me safe. It's okay." She tried to smile at him, but there was no joy in it.

"Harmony had a vision about you. You were… in danger. So we all came."

"Thank you," Then Fred's eyes widened in panic. "Evi! I was holding her and then the demons and then… I don't know where she is!" Fred was hyperventilating now.

Angel put his hands on her shoulders. "Fred," He whispered "Shhh,"

"Where's my baby?" Fred begged "Where is she?"

"I don't know, but we're going to find her."

Fred clutched Angel's shirt. "What if she's dead? What if they killed her?"

"She's alive and we're going to find her." Angel promised

"How can you know that?"

Angel watched the tears flow down Fred's face. He remembered how she had cried when Angelus had cut her and forced her to do things. He remembered how her tears tasted because Angelus had licked them from her face. She had shivered in revulsion while Angelus savored the salty delicacy that was Fred's tears of pain and humiliation. "Come on, we're going to go get her right now. Do you know where we can get some weapons?" Angel nudged the door ajar.

"There's a lab down the hall with some prototypes." Fred said

The coast was clear. Angel held out his hand for her to take. "It'll be okay."

Fred stared at the hand. Angel could hear how fast her heart was beating, way too fast to be in any way healthy. Fred cautiously raised her own shaking hand and took Angel's. "Okay,"

…

Willow was moving her hands in complicated patterns and reciting precise spells at an unnatural speed as she disposed of the demons. The slayers, when they recovered from the effects of the screams, lent her a hand. It took the last of Willow's strength to rid the library of the final demon. Gore covered the tables and shelves of her formerly pristine library. Willow fell to her knees. A student ran to her. "Ms. Rosenberg!" She cried "Are you all right?"

Willow felt a hand rest on her shoulder. The poor brave girl was trembling, but still worried about her clearly spent principal. "I'm all right." Willow promised "Is anybody…"

"Some of us are hurt, but we're all alive." The student promised

Willow sighed in relief. "That's good." Willow wondered if she could just lie down on the cold tile floor and take a twelve hour nap. "Is everybody accounted for?"

A teacher walked over. "Mr. Wyndam-Pryce and Ms. Burkle are missing." She said

Willow's drooping eyes snapped open. "Crap! I sent them out to find Xander. There may be more demons out in the hall. I have to go look for them." Willow staggered to her feet.

For a moment Willow thought she would topple over, but she managed to keep her footing and even give her petrified student a shaky smile. "I don't think you're in any condition to go out there." The teacher said "You just defeated two separate armies in as many hours."

Willow shook her head. "I'm not abandoning my friends."

"You're no good to them dead, and we have to evacuate the students."

Willow rubbed her eyes. She was so tired, but there was so much to do. "Of course we do, we must start immediately. We have to make sure all the children get home safe."

Willow felt her student put an arm around her waist. "Lean on me Ms. Rosenberg."

Willow managed another small smile. "Thank you dear."

…

Xander led Gunn and Lorne in the direction he thought Willow had been heading before the thing that had taken over Faith had shown up. It was as good a place as any to start their search for their missing friends. While Xander led the way through a building he had never been in before Gunn filled him in on what had happened to Faith. Xander felt a pang of guilt when he asked if Wesley or Fred had known about Es and was told they hadn't. Xander's accusation had been truly unjust. Xander pictured the blood in the hall. He tried not to think of that poor baby ripped apart by some monster in front of her parents, but that was like trying not to think of anything, a self-defeating prospect. Xander remembered Willow in his kitchen fussing over the small girl. Willow loved that kid. What would she do if the child was dead? Xander shivered.

"They're fine." Lorne said

"How do you know?" Xander asked, shocked

"He doesn't." Gunn said "He's thinking positive."

"Oh," Xander said, deflated

They rounded a corner and saw a parade of people. A few teachers led the group and Willow was right behind them leaning on a teenage girl. "Willow!" Xander ran for her.

"Xander," She said in a weak voice "You're okay."

Xander gripped her shoulders. "What happened to you?"

Willow chuckled. "I kicked ass."

"She really did." A boy said "I'm never playing hooky again."

There were murmurs of agreement. "Ms. Rosenberg demolished those demons."

"And the robots," Someone said

"Do you know where Fred is?" Gunn asked

Willow shook her head. "I have to find her."

"Willow you need to rest." Xander said "Come on." He picked Willow up, and then smiled in gratitude at the student who had been helping her. "You need to go home."

"We have to find them, and the baby…" Willow was already drifting off.

"I'm going to help with the evacuation." Xander said "Find them, okay?"

Gunn nodded. "We will."

…

Harmony was getting annoyed with Drusilla. First there was the way that she clung to Spike as though she couldn't walk without him. Then there were the odd things she kept saying and her annoying laugh. Harmony huffed in frustration. Spike was staring at Dru in adoration, but he was also focused on finding Fred. He kept sniffing the air, searching for the familiar scent of the woman who had saved his life. He stopped. "The baby," He said "That way," He pointed

"The least filling things are always the best tasting." Dru said with a longing tone

Spike ran toward the scent. Harmony and Dru followed. Harmony didn't want the little baby to be dead. She didn't want the small soft creature who used to suck on her hair to be gone from the world. Harmony liked her. Harmony wanted to hold her and she wanted her to be alive.

…

Angel kept glancing back at Fred, who walked right behind him. It was as though he was afraid that she would vanish if he looked away for too long. Fred gave him an odd look. "Do you hear something?" Angel shook his head and then looked in front of them. He needed to focus.

"So what's it like? Living in Tokyo." He asked

"It's nice… usually. Today is a bit of an anomaly."

"Stuff like this happens all the time in L.A." Angel said

"I know. That's why we left." Fred said

Angel flinched. He was glad she couldn't see it. "It is?"

"Yeah, didn't you get the letter we left?"

"Yeah, yeah…"

There was a long awkward silence. "You never wrote back." Fred whispered

"I did." Angel said quickly "I wrote back a bunch of times. I just never sent anything."

Fred chuckled. "That doesn't count Angel. Why didn't you send any of the letters?"

"I figured you wouldn't want to hear from me."

"We told you we wanted you to write back in the letter."

"I thought you were just being nice." Angel murmured

"I see." Angel couldn't decipher Fred's tone. Was it angry? Sad? He didn't know.

Angel stopped. "Demons ahead, we need to turn around."

"Do you smell any people?" Fred asked eagerly

Angel sniffed deeply. "Yeah, headed towards the demons."

"How many?"

"Demons or people?"

"Both,"

"People, hundreds; demons, too many."

"We have to help them. We have to warn them." Fred said

"The demons are between us and them." Angel said "It's impossible."

"I could bait the demons away while you run ahead to warn everybody." Fred suggested

"Absolutely not!" Angel hissed "Those things will tear you apart."

"I'm not going to let my colleagues and students be massacred. I'm doing this. You can help if you want." Fred took a deep breath and started forward. Angel grabbed her arm.

He yanked her back. "I'm not letting you do this."

"What are you going to do, tie me up?" She said with a scowl

Angel dropped her arm as though it was burning him. "Fred please,"

"It's a good plan. I get their attention and then I run. You get to the people on the other side and warn them. Then you can come rescue me. You're fast, you can get to me in time."

"How do you know?" Angel said

"Because you're the handsome man that saves me from monsters." Fred kissed him on the cheek and while Angel stood stunned she headed toward the demons.

…

Collins had his hands tied behind his back and each of his arms were held in a firm grip by a teacher. He snuck a glance at his compatriots. Weatherby was shaking with rage while Smith was calm. Smith seemed to sense Collins's gaze and turned his head. Smith gave Collins a look that asked for orders. Collins's eyes responded to wait for an opportunity. At that moment the last person they ever wanted to see ran up. "Angel!" Xander shouted "What are you-"

"Demons, a bunch of them, you need to go another way."

"Are they following you?" Xander asked

"No, Fred distracted-"

"What?!" Willow apparently hadn't been asleep, or if she had it had been a light sleep.

"Find another path out." Angel said "I'm going after Fred."

Willow was already on her feet, pushing Xander away. She ran in the direction Angel had come from and Angel hurried after her to stop her. "Willow wait!" Xander followed Angel.

The group changed direction, heading for an area hopefully free of demons. Collins gave his colleagues a look. Now was the best opportunity they were going to get. Collins elbowed one of the people restraining him and then kneed the other in the groin. He ran, struggling to retain his balance with his hands tied. He heard his coworkers behind him and he thought they would be safe from pursuit. The teachers would value getting their students to safety above recapturing their hostages. Now they just needed to cut their bonds and figure out what the hell was going on in this place. Faith was a demon. Was it a possession or a shape shifter? So many questions…

…

Hamilton walked down the hall to Angel's office. Lilah was inside going through paperwork and watching his computer monitor. "How did you get this place cleaned up so fast?"

Lilah didn't even look at him. "I threatened someone."

"So you're in charge until the boss gets back huh?"

"I guess I am."

"He must be really desperate."

"I guess he is." Lilah pulled a file out of a stack and got up. She flipped through the file as she approached him, still not looking at him. "I was going through some paperwork and I came across the agreement you signed with Angel. One of the clauses here is about how you are and are not allowed to interact with Angel's employees. According to the contract you signed any threatening action is prohibited, with a threatening action being defined as anything that makes the recipient fear for their welfare." Lilah looked at Hamilton and grinned. "You coming around here threatening to bring the building down on top of my head might qualify."

Hamilton returned her smile. "I suppose there's a penalty attached."

"A fine, actually. It should be just enough to bring us out of the red and cover any further expenses Angel might incur while on his international trip, including that expensive jet ride."

"Aren't you clever?"

Lilah handed Hamilton the file and then went back to Angel's desk. "Yes, I am."

…

The scene Spike came across was a terrible one. Two demons were arguing. One was standing on Wesley while holding Evi. The other was facing the first. "Fine," The second demon said in an exasperated tone "We'll split the baby, but we have to get our stories straight."

"Hey!" Harmony yelled "Put that baby down!"

Spike groaned. "And there goes the element of surprise,"

The demons faced the trio of vampires. The second demon sniffed the air. "I didn't know she brought in any bloodsuckers. Look, you'll have to find your own food. This one's ours."

"Put the baby down and step away from the Englishman and you get to live." Spike said

The first demon laughed. "Who do you think you are?"

Spike rushed the demon. He knocked it over. The demon dropped Evi, who Drusilla deftly caught. Harmony attacked the other demon. Spike pounded the demon that had been squashing Wesley until he was little more than pulp. Then he turned around to check Harmony's progress and was met with a disturbing sight. Harmony was losing her fight with the smaller but still ferocious demon, but the fight wasn't over. Drusilla was holding Evangeline in a loving embrace, sniffing the baby. Dru rocked the child back and forth. "It's so pretty William."

Wesley was gasping for air on the ground, trying and failing to get to his feet. He tried to protest Drusilla's uncomfortable interaction with his daughter, but he couldn't get the oxygen he needed to speak. "Pet," Spike said "Hand me the baby." He approached her and reached for Evi.

"I like her William. She smells like candy. I bet she tastes like sugar."

"She's not for eating love." Spike said "Hand her to me."

"Her mommy tasted hardy, like steak. Maybe a little chocolate,"

"Right," Spike said in a placating tone "I'm sure she did."

"But this one would taste like peaches and cream, like hard candy with that flavor."

"Drusilla," Spike adopted a stern tone. "Give me the baby."

"Share my Spike, I'm rather hungry."

Harmony shrieked as the demon she was battling got a good shot in and sent her to the ground dripping blood. It turned to face Dru. Spike tackled the demon and snapped its neck while Drusilla backed away. When Spike looked up Dru had Evi's neck close to her fangs.

…

Gunn and Lorne were getting more and more frightened with each second that passed without them finding Fred. Then their fright multiplied exponentially when they saw Es. "Hi,"

She looked… sad. That was the odd part. She was staring at them. "Hi," Gunn could think of no other response to being greeted in such a casual manner by such a powerful being.

"I'm unhappy." Es said

"Why's that cherub?" Lorne asked

"I am not an angel." Es said

"It's just something I say." Lorne explained quickly

"Could I be an angel, if I wanted to?"

"You can be whatever you want."

"Because the future is uncertain." She recalled "I love that. But it's not enough."

"What's missing?" Lorne asked

"I have no purpose." Es said "I drift, and the moon pulls at me. I need a sun to orbit, but I do not know where to find one. So I drift on the tide, and the moon pulls me."

"Helping people find their purpose is sort of what I do." Lorne took a step toward her, internally cursing himself and his recklessness. "I could help you find… something to orbit."

"You would manipulate me for your own ends." Es said "I am not a fool."

"No I wouldn't. I don't do that."

Es stared into his eyes. "She was right. I cannot know you by looking at you."

…

Angel outpaced Willow with ease. He had vampire speed and she was exhausted from her fierce battle. They reached the crowd of demons. There were around thirty. Angel swung a sword and decapitated a few on his way to the front of the crowd. A demon had just grabbed Fred and its claws were digging into her flesh. The familiar scent of her blood assaulted his senses as she screamed in pain. Angel ran the demon through with his sword and yanked its arms off of her. "Angel!" Xander called "We could use a little help back here!"

Angel turned around and Willow was maintaining a weak shield covering them from one direction while Xander tried to fight off the demons coming from other angles. Fred aimed a device at a demon bearing down on Xander and a burst of energy slammed into it and sent it flying down the hall. Angel jumped into the fray. Willow was struggling not to collapse under the weight of her fatigue. Fred ran over to Willow and supported her. Angel eviscerated a demon and then dropped his sword. He picked up Willow and then grabbed Fred's hand. "Come on!"

They ran. They ran until their way was blocked off by another group of demons and they realized they were sandwiched between two possible deaths. "I can't believe after everything I'm going to die with dead-boy." Xander groused "I can't even do the 'it's been an honor' thing."

Fred pointed her gun ahead of them. Angel and Xander both held up their swords in a meaningless gesture. There was nothing they could do. Then a demon at the front of the group developed a large metal spear sticking through its chest. The demon fell to the ground to reveal a familiar blond. She was flanked by Kennedy and another slayer. "I can't believe you guys threw a party and didn't invite me." Buffy said "That really hurts my feelings."

"We're just going to have to take our rage out on these demons." Kennedy said

"Looks like we will." Buffy agreed

…

"Dru, don't. Listen to me." Spike demanded

"I won't William. It's as you said. We had our time. Now comes the new age."

"What are you talking about?" Spike demanded

"I had a vision my love. This one was different. It was not a fog clearing to show me the far off. It was a beacon of light. I see this out of space and time. There are signs. The new age approaches and there are birthing pains. There is no room for us in the new world."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Spike said "Listen to me. I love you more than anything Drusilla. But if you kill that baby I will stake you. I won't let her die."

Drusilla and Spike locked eyes. Spike was incredulous. He couldn't believe that he had just said that, and even more astonishingly that he meant it. "I believe you William."

"Give me the baby."

Drusilla walked forward. "I want to see what happens next."

Spike gently took the baby from her arms and tried to soothe her. "It's all right."

Harmony got up and walked over to Wesley. She extended a hand to help him to his feet which he gratefully accepted. "Thank you Harmony." Harmony just smiled at him and then helped him over to where Spike was. Spike handed Wesley his daughter. "Thank you,"

Spike felt a strange sensation at the man's quiet gratitude. All Wes cared about right now was that his daughter was alive. How Drusilla had gotten here in the first place wasn't even on his mind as he stared at his crying baby. "You're welcome." Spike said, feeling a pang of guilt

Drusilla was still there. Spike grabbed her arm and dragged her a short distance. "If you want to stick with us you can't ever pull a stunt like that again. Do you understand?"

She kissed his cheek. "I understand." She ran away. Spike knew he should go after her and put a stake through her heart. But he couldn't. By allowing her to go he was condemning people to death. Maybe those people were as loved as Evi. But Spike couldn't harm Drusilla.

…

"I thought you didn't want people to die." Lorne said

"I don't." Es said "But then again I don't know what I want."

"What do you not don't want?" Lorne asked "We can start there."

Es laughed. "I like you."

"Why?"

Gunn watched the conversation with little comprehension. They were standing in a quiet part of a battlefield, discussing… nothing. This thing was utterly dissimilar to Illyria. Illyria had been dangerous, but at least he could understand her. Illyria had wanted to destroy, she was just a worse version of plenty of other demons he had faced. Maybe her motivations were complicated and profound, but Gunn didn't care. Her actions were simple. This thing was like the winds of a tropical storm. She whipped back and forth with no discernable pattern. He didn't know how to react to her. He knew what he wanted from her, but not how to get it. He wanted Faith to come back and he wanted to be with her. But how could he get that from the creature that existed only to act with no logical motivation. Gunn realized he hadn't considered what the full implication of one who adored chaos was. For everything to be possible there could be no pattern, for patterns eliminated possibilities. But with no pattern and no real motivation how could she act at all?

"What are you?" Gunn demanded before Es could answer Lorne

"What?" She asked

"You're not an old one. You're not anything. You're a force, a random force."

"No," Lorne said "She's a butterfly."

"Why am I that?" Es asked

"You are flapping your wings and we are the storm you created." Lorne explained

…

Lilah leaned back in her chair with her feet on Angel's desk. The phone rang. She took the handset from the cradle and greeted the caller. "This is Lilah Morgan." She said

"This is Angel's office." Lindsey protested

Lilah grinned. "Lindsey," She gestured to an employee in the hall who entered with a slight tremor of fear. She pointed to the phone and mouthed 'trace this' to the employee.

As the employee scurried away Lindsey answered. "Are you Angel's secretary now?"

"I'm acting as CEO while he's on vacation."

"Vacation huh?"

"You know those corporate CEO types. They take the company jet to a villa in some tropical paradise and spend enough on liquor and women to buy a small country."

"That doesn't sound like Angel." Lindsey said

"So what's next Lindsey? I have to tell you, all of the other people Es set loose are dead."

"Yeah?"

"I killed three. One was already dead."

Lindsey chuckled. "I missed you Lilah."

"The feeling isn't mutual." She said

"You know you'll never be one of them."

"Not being one of them is still far better than being one of you." Lilah said

"Maybe,"

"Can I ask you something Lindsey?"

"Of course,"

"Why did you come back after the thing with the kids? Why didn't you just take your new lease on life and stay the hell away from us? You knew what we were, why come back?"

"Maybe it's better to belong in a terrible place than to belong nowhere."

Lilah thought about the fires of hell. "You're wrong."

"Maybe, but in the coming days you and I will have knives at each other's throats."

"I know."

"Good-bye Lilah."

"Lindsey wait-" The hum of the dead line rang in her ears.

An employee came in. "We couldn't trace the call."

"I know." Lilah whispered

…

Collins dragged his bonds against the sharp edge of the candle holder on the wall until his hands were free. He turned to his compatriots. "Well that was a bloody disaster."

"I tend to agree with you." Smith said

"What was all that?" Weatherby asked "Healing spells and shape-shifting demons?"

"Just more of Buffy's mess that we're going to have to clean up." Collins said

"Where do we start?" Smith said

"I say we clean house." Weatherby said "Bring the building down."

"Subtle," Collins said

"At least it will take care of the traitor and that freaky demon." Weatherby said

"Hm," Collins considered this

"Excuse me," They turned their heads and were stunned to see Dawn Summers.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" Weatherby asked

Dawn pulled out a sword. "Here to kick your ass."

"Is that right?" Collins sounded amused

Rupert Giles, flanked by two slayers, appeared. "I'd rather say it is."

…

"Buffy," Angel watched her tear through the demons with the passion and grace that was so familiar to him. It would always be familiar to him. "It's nice to see you again."

"I'll be right with you Angel!" Buffy, Kennedy, and the third slayer made short order of the demons in front of them and then they ran down the hall and slew the other demons.

"Buff," Xander said

Buffy turned around and faced him. Her face melted into a smile. "Xander,"

He held out his arms like he was opening his chest to bare his heart. Buffy dropped her sword and embraced her old school friend. "Thanks for rescuing us." Xander said

"Always, you know that." Buffy looked at Angel. "Is Will okay?"

"She's just exhausted from all the spell work." Angel said

Buffy let go of Xander and walked over. Angel put Willow on her feet, but still supported the witch while she smiled at her friend. "Hey Buffy," She said in a just woken up voice

Buffy pulled Willow into a hug. "You scared me Will. Don't ever again, okay?"

Fred tugged on Angel's arm. "Angel," She said "We have to find Evi."

"Right," Angel turned back to Buffy. "We could kind of use your help."

"And while we're looking for the baby you can tell me what the hell is going on."

…

Wesley sat down before he collapsed and leaned against the wall. He held his daughter close to his chest and whispered soothing words to her. "Have you seen Fred?" He asked

Spike and Harmony shared a look. "Not yet," Spike said

Harmony surprised Spike by getting his look and not mentioning her vision. "Nope,"

"We have to find her." Wesley said

"Agreed," Said Spike "Can you walk?"

"Maybe with a little help…" Harmony hauled him to his feet.

"This is no good." Spike said "You're useless in a fight."

Wesley scowled at Spike. "I'm looking for Fred no matter what you say."

"I'd admire that if you weren't holding your vulnerable daughter who could probably use a safer place to be right now. Harmony get him out of here. I'll find Fred and then get you."

Wesley scowled. "You can't order me around."

Spike poked Wesley's broken ribs, producing a hiss of pain. "Kind of can mate."

"Hey!" Harmony said

"Get him out of here." Spike took off.

"Git," Wesley muttered

"I don't know what that means, but I'm right there with you." Harmony said

…

Es stared at Faith's hand. "I want more than this. I want more than the world."

"You want to exist in it." Lorne said

"I do."

"Maybe getting your own body would be a good way to start." Gunn said

Lorne waved his hand impatiently at Gunn. "Sh,"

Es just grinned. "What purpose is fitting for a creature such as myself?"

"I have an idea." Lorne said "But I don't want you to think I'm manipulating you."

"Tell me your idea green one."

"You desire more possibilities. So you desire more life. I suggest that you become a protector of humanity. Use your power to save them, to prevent the loss of life. There are many complicated threats and conflicts in the world. You could try to find the path that leads to the least loss of life in several situations. It would be a fascinating and difficult job." Lorne said

Es was silent for a moment. "I could protect humanity."

"Yes," Lorne said "What do you say?" He tried to keep how nervous and eager he was out of his voice. If he could pull this off they had just solved a huge problem.

"I say yes."

"Really?" Gunn and Lorne said at the same time

"Yes, I will be the defender of life on this planet."

Lorne and Gunn were stunned. They couldn't believe that worked. "Great," Gunn said

"There is only one problem. There exists not on this earth in the present moment an adversary that is worthy of me. Therefore I must create one so that success and failure are both possibilities in my venture. I cannot allow certainty." She disappeared from their view.

"Wait," Gunn said "Did we just fix things or make them so much worse?"

"We should get that embroidered on a pillow." Lorne mumbled

…

Giles smiled as the slayers finished tying up Collins, Smith, and Weatherby. "You have no idea how much satisfaction I get from this." Giles said "It's therapeutic, really."

"Same," Dawn said "You tried to kill my sister. I'm in no way over that."

"Now," Giles said "You can tell us about this fake council you're a part of."

"You're the ones faking." Smith said "We're loyal to the true council."

"The council of watchers with no slayers to watch?" Dawn asked

"Seems kind of pointless," One of the slayers said

"I tend to agree." Giles said

"Go to hell." Weatherby said "You'll get nothing from us."

Dawn sighed. "I was afraid you'd say that."

…

Buffy led their party. Xander carried Willow. Kennedy walked next to him, trying not to feel awkward. Angel walked very close to Fred. He felt protective of her, but also like he wanted to be a million miles away from her. He wished she wasn't bleeding, and not just because he knew that she was in pain. He wished he couldn't smell her blood. The other slayer brought up the rear of their group. As Angel relayed their story to Buffy she would on occasion look back at him and give him an incredulous expression, but mostly she looked ahead for demons. Each of Buffy's expressions renewed his gratitude for his inability to blush. Xander also often stared at Angel in shock, and his shock was mixed with revulsion much more often. "I don't believe it."

"Which part?" Angel asked Xander

"All of it. How could you keep this a secret? You should have told us Faith was sick."

"There was nothing you could do." Angel said

"You don't think Willow's magical expertise may have been helpful?" Xander asked

"The PTB sent us visions of what might help. If Willow could have done anything they would have sent Harmony a vision. We had all of our resources in treating Faith." Angel said

"Well your resources didn't do a lot of good did they?" Xander asked

"They delayed the process." Angel said

"Helpful," Xander snarked

"Xander," Buffy said

Xander opened his mouth to make a biting comment and then closed it. He sighed, a simple breath conveying his exhaustion and desperation. "Now what do we do?"

"Now we make sure everybody's alive." Buffy said

"Then we stop this bitch, right?" Kennedy asked

"Then we stop the bitch." Buffy agreed

They rounded the corner and ran into Spike, Harmony, and Wesley. "Wesley!"

Fred ran toward her fiancé. She gently took their daughter from him. He looked at her bloody arms. "What happened?" At first she looked as though she didn't know what he was talking about because she was so absorbed in him and their daughter. "Your arms?" He prompted

"It's nothing." She hugged him. "I'm so glad you're both all right."

Wesley returned the hug even though it hurt his crushed ribs. "We're fine."

Fred started crying. "I don't know what I would do if I lost either of you."

"It's all right. We're fine. Don't think about that." To Wesley and Fred there was nobody else in the world except for each other and their daughter. Now that she knew they were alive and she could think about what almost happened instead of focusing on finding them horrible images of the people she loved most in the world dead filled her head. She wept into his shoulder and he held her even as his wounds ached. "We're all okay Fred. Everyone's fine."

That's when Gunn and Lorne came running in. "We might have a problem." Gunn said

"A new one, or one of the established ones?" Buffy asked

Gunn froze. Buffy in real life looked just like Buffy in Faith's head, if a little older. For a moment he wondered if this really was Buffy, or another imposter. "A new one," He whispered

Buffy gave him an odd look. Perhaps because he was being odd himself. "What is it?"

Lorne answered that. "Es declared herself humanity's protector."

"That doesn't sound so bad." Xander said "Meaning that following previous patterns it will be very, very bad." Xander noticed that Lorne looked a little ill, but maybe that was normal.

"She said she needed a worthy opponent."

"And now we're in the sounding bad." Xander said

Harmony screamed. She took a few steps back. "A jewelry box!"

"Pandora's box?" Willow asked while Harmony shook with vision pain

"Red crystals," Harmony said "Dust, you," Harmony pointed a shaking finger at Willow

Angel got it. "Es is looking for the artifact of the next old one."

"She's going to raise another one?!" Gunn asked "One is bad enough!"

"One is more than bad enough." Lorne said "Illyria came very close to destroying the world when she was here. Es isn't even trying to kill us and she's done incredible damage."

"Harmony are you sure?" Angel asked

Harmony was holding her head. "She gives the box to Willow."

Everyone frowned and all eyes turned to the exhausted witch. "Can I refuse delivery?"

…

"Right, sure boss." Lilah spoke to Angel. "I'll have the items express delivered to you."

Lilah got up to collect the texts and documents Angel needed. She shivered as she replayed their conversation in her mind. The first old one had killed her. The second had almost broken her jaw. Lilah was not a fan of theirs. No one knew where the remaining artifacts were and Lilah hoped that Es didn't have some way of sensing them. Because unless Angel found the jewelry box from Harmony's vision and discovered a way to destroy it there would be two super-powered creatures on earth with enough power to be considered gods by some. Lilah did not want that to happen. She had no doubt that if Es got the box she would find a way to infect her intended prey. Lilah knew this witch had incredible power, would that make a difference in the power of the old one? Could an old one even be more powerful? If so, the idea was petrifying.

…

Angel felt… awkward. He also felt useless. Willow, Wesley, and Fred were in the infirmary getting their various injuries tended to. Buffy was making sure all of the students and staff had evacuated the building safely. Xander and Dawn were interrogating their three prisoners while Giles interrogated Harmony. Kennedy and the remaining slayers went to and fro following Buffy's instructions. Gunn was assisting Buffy as well, putting his legal mind to use when she needed to weasel her way out of a conversation with the local police. Lorne had disappeared into the infirmary. The only one as useless as Angel had become after he'd gotten off the phone with Lilah was Spike. Lilah would send all the information they had on old ones and they would try to compare that to Harmony's vision, any sources the council had access to, as well as what they had just learned to find the jewelry box. Until that stuff got there or something attacked them again Angel was just the guy standing around. He hated that.

"You're sure it was a jewelry box?" Giles asked

"I know jewelry." Harmony said in a snotty tone

"That's true." Spike said

Giles ignored Spike. "Describe the crystals. How many were there?"

"I don't know. A few I guess. A bunch, but not a lot, you know?"

Giles struggled to remain calm. "I'm afraid I don't."

Angel figured that this would get ugly soon. He started for the infirmary and then came to an abrupt stop. Why was he going there? Did he think that after being badly injured, separated, and then reunited, Wesley and Fred would want to see him? Of course they didn't. Angel stood still, thinking of his friends. He felt cut off. He wanted to make sure they were okay, but deep down he knew he didn't have the right to do that. Spike passed him. "Where are you going?"

Spike turned around and looked at Angel. "I'm going to check on Fred."

"But…" Angel realized he had no grounds for protest. Spike walked away and Angel wondered when and how it had happened that Spike of all people now had the right to show concern for Angel's friends, but Angel himself did not. He wondered when it was that he had lost these people that meant so much to him. Of course when Angelus had shown up, but had it been before that? Had he forfeited his right to be their friend when he had rejected the people they were and replaced them with different versions of themselves? Had committing the ultimate betrayal of altering their minds been enough? Had everything after that been an illusion?

Angel walked a bit down the hall and listened. "Are you all right?" Spike asked

Angel could see nothing, but hear them fine. "Wes said you saved him and Evi."

"Well I was in the neighborhood."

"Thank you so much." Fred said

"I was only there to save them because you saved me first. So no need for that."

"There is a need." Wesley said "I'm very grateful."

"How's red?" Spike asked, changing the subject

"Sleeping, she needs it." Fred said

"Poor Willow," Wesley said "But what she did was amazing."

"We can't let Es get to her." Fred said

"We won't." Spike said

Angel turned around and walked away. He didn't want to hear anymore. He didn't want to listen to more evidence that his people were no longer his. He didn't want to hear how easy it was for Spike to talk to people Angel cared for so deeply but could not have a simple conversation with. Angel hated this. He didn't want to go back to the room with all the other people he knew in it. What could he say to them either? He wanted to talk to… Faith. But she wasn't here. Yet she was the one person he most wanted to talk to. He wanted her back.


	6. Buried

**Cairo**

Angel rapped his knuckles on the café table. He looked around the room, wondering why Spike was late. The blond vampire came in and sat down. "We're in." He said simply

"They can get us into the tomb?"

"At first they refused, but I can be persuasive."

Angel rolled his eyes. "And the chamber is undisturbed?"

"There's no oxygen down there, only things like us could survive." Spike assured Angel

"What if another vampire has been down there and taken the scroll?"

"Then we're buggered."

Angel couldn't think of a good response, so he was silent. "After four months of searching for any clue to the box's location this seems almost too good to be true."

"Everything looks like that to you." Spike said "That's your problem."

Angel scowled. "You're the last person to lecture me Spike."

For a while Spike let silence rule their table, then he got bored. "Have you talked to-"

"No,"

Spike was surprised. "How do you know what I was going to say?"

"I haven't talked to Wes or Fred since the battle in Tokyo. The only times I've talked to Buffy have been on the phone and about the mission. And I don't want a lecture, so shut it."

"I was going to ask if you've talked to Lilah. She said she was going to call you about something when I last spoke to her. But apparently somebody has other things on his mind."

Angel growled in irritation. "Don't act all innocent."

"What do you mean?"

"Today is Evi's birthday."

Spike's look of surprise was so genuine Angel almost believed it. "I thought that wasn't until tomorrow. All these bloody time changes are screwing with my head. Did you send a gift?"

Angel squirmed in his seat. "Did you?"

"Uncle Spike bought her a doll."

Angel rolled his eyes. "Kind of cliché, don't you think?"

"It's a magic doll. The guy in African village we passed through that I bought it from said it was a dream doll. If you sleep with it and you have a nightmare the doll has it for you."

"Spike that's ridiculous." Angel said

"Sure, but it's still a cool doll. So what did you get her?"

Angel looked everywhere but at Spike. "I didn't want to send anything."

"You're a ponce you know that?" Spike said

Angel glared at him. "What time does our guide get here?"

Spike glanced at his watch. "Three hours,"

Angel groaned. "Three hours with you, what a pleasure."

…

**Tokyo**

As the stunning rendition of _Happy Birthday_ wound down little Evi clapped her hands together in what might have been an appreciation of their performance, but was probably just the spastic movements of a one year old child. "Goo!" She declared to the singers "Goo!"

Fred pulled her daughter into her lap and hugged her. "Happy birthday my little girl."

The only people in the apartment were Willow, Fred, Wesley, and Evi but the apartment felt full anyway. Most of their friends were in different cities hunting for the jewelry box, but almost all of them had sent presents. There aren't many greater joys in life than buying birthday presents for infants and few had neglected the opportunity. "My gift first," Willow declared

Fred chuckled as she picked up the box. "What have you got Evi?" Willow opened the box and pulled out a beautiful sunshine yellow dress and a pair of brown shoes. "She'll look like a little sunflower in this." Fred said "It's lovely." Fred gave Willow a hug. "Thanks,"

Wesley picked up a square package. "It think this might be books."

"Who's it from?" Fred asked

"Gunn,"

"Then it's not books." Fred said

Wesley opened the box and pulled out four Disney movies and a note saying: _Reading is great and all, but let the poor kid watch TV on occasion. Cartoons never killed anyone._

Wesley chuckled. "These are VHS, I wonder where he got them."

Fred picked up one of the movies and opened the casing to see a name written in sharpie on the inside the way that many people inscribe their books. _Alonna's property, do not steal_

"They were his sister's." Wesley whispered "I can't believe he gave these away."

"Maybe he thought you would put them to better use than letting them collect dust on a shelf by giving another little girl the chance to enjoy them like his sister did." Willow suggested

Wesley smiled as he looked down at the child's almost illegible scrawl. "They were living on the streets when she died. These must have meant a lot to her if she kept them."

Fred put her hand on Wesley's arm. For a moment they all shared in quiet contemplation thinking about little girls and the women they grow up to be. It was a somber moment.

…

**London**

Giles heard the knock on his door and called for the knocker to enter. Charles Gunn came in with three books. "These volumes also have passages about the tomb Angel and Spike are going to search for the scroll. We missed them in our initial comb through our archives."

"So you flew all the way to England?" Giles asked

"I'm meeting Buffy in Morocco. She asked for backup."

"Right, the demon cult that collects rare information."

"She'll be the muscle and I'll be the negotiator that can handle himself in a fight."

"And this was on your way?"

"Not too far out of it. Besides, I need to know if my boss is in danger."

Giles held out his hands for the books. He opened the first volume to the passage marked with a ribbon laid across the page. "Extraordinary, this passage describes the princess who is buried in that tomb. Next to nothing is known about her. Where did Wolfram & Hart get this?"

Gunn shrugged. "I try not to think about it."

Giles made a face. "Quite right," He read for a few more moments. "It seems that the princess was the little sister of the heir apparent, and also a witch. He gifted her with magical artifacts from around the world, including a scroll that showed the path to hidden treasures."

"The scroll we're looking for?"

"Oh dear," Giles said

"Oh dear? I don't like oh dear."

"If I'm reading this correctly," Giles said "The princess did not die a natural death."

"Why does that matter?"

"If she was killed by a curse put on one of her magical possessions, almost all of which were buried with her, than Angel and Spike may be in grave danger from the same curse."

"Maybe it doesn't affect vampires." Gunn said, trying to be hopeful

"Regardless, we need to contact them immediately." Giles said

…

Angel waited for the ring tone to be replaced with a familiar voice. "Lilah Morgan,"

"Spike said you wanted to talk to me." Angel said

"I thought you were in an Egyptian pyramid." Lilah said

"I'm about to go in. What's up?"

"I need a week's vacation." Lilah said

"You're joking right?" Angel asked "_Now_?"

"It's important." Lilah said

"Care to share?"

"No, but I will if I have to."

Angel paused. "Fine, but you have to do something for me first."

"Anything boss, as usual."

…

Lorne bustled down the hall and almost ran into Lilah. "Wow there," He said "Why all the conflict vibes?" He asked "It's a beautiful day, the sun is shining. What's wrong?"

Lilah chuckled. "Nothing new,"

"Old stuff you let fester then, tell your pal Lorne."

"We're not pals, and I have an errand to do."

"Be that as it may," Lorne said kindly "What's wrong?"

Lilah opened her mouth to respond with a glib 'nothing that concerns you' but that's not what came out. "When I was dying I had a dream. It was vivid. It was like nothing…"

"Go on," Lorne prompted

"I suppose you're familiar with the concept of making amends."

"I am."

"I never could. I'm not immortal like Angel. I've done too many bad things to ever even begin to make amends. Besides, some of the things I've done are irreparable. And yet…"

"You feel you have to do something." Lorne said

"There was a girl, Bethany." Lilah said "Did Angel ever tell you about her?"

"I saw her once in song, but not in Angel. You hurt her."

"I would like to make amends to her. Is that even possible?"

"It's possible to try, and that's what is important."

Lilah looked away. "I have to go do that errand for Angel."

…

Gunn hung up the phone. "He's not answering."

"They must already be in the tomb." Giles said

"This is bad. Should we go after them?"

"To do so would only endanger more lives." Giles said "We just have to wait."

Gunn shook his head. "Sorry, I can't do that. If my friend is walking into a death trap I have to try and warn him. I'm going to Egypt. Keep reading about that princess and keep in touch with me. Any information about the curse could be helpful." Gunn started to leave.

"I think what you're doing is incredible stupid, but also very brave. Good luck."

"Thanks," Gunn left while Giles sat down to his book.

…

Fred picked her daughter up from the couch while the sleeping child still clutched her new doll and Feigenbaum. No matter what toys she got Evi retained a special fondness for the worn rabbit. Fred stopped in front of the dining room table where Wesley was hunched over a manuscript in the dim light. Fred turned the overhead light on. "What is it honey?" She asked

Wesley looked up, blinking. "What? Oh." He shook his head. "What I translated last year before Angel erased my memory… again. I think I know what it means, why it was written."

"The calendar?"

Wesley nodded. "They predicted who would be infected. First the brother, then the comrade-in-arms, then the sister-in-law, then the sister, then the son, then the brother-in-law, and finally the other comrade-in-arms. Es may have decided to infect Willow for her own personal reasons, but that decision was foretold long ago. This means that Willow will be infected."

Fred shook her head. "No, we can't let that happen. Anyway, Willow isn't Angel's sister-in-law. Neither of them are married or have any living siblings. So that doesn't make sense."

"Angel loves Buffy. Buffy loves Willow. In their culture that's enough."

"But Es is all about chaos. She wouldn't try to fulfill some prophecy."

"Not intentionally," Wesley said "Perhaps an even greater force is at work."

"The son, does that mean Conner?"

Wesley hesitated. "I can't imagine who else it would mean."

For a while they were silent as they processed this. "What if…" Fred trailed off.

"This prophecy isn't fake." Wesley said

Fred flinched. "I-" There was a knock at the door and she rushed to answer it. When she pulled the door open a delivery boy stood there with a small package. He held out the box wrapped in brown paper and string to her. "What's this?" Fred asked as she took the package

"Delivery from a Mr. Angel. Sign here." The boy held out a clipboard.

As soon as Fred signed the child no older than fifteen disappeared. She walked back over to the dining table and sat down. Wesley handed her a knife and she cut the string. Under the paper was a small ceramic container. She lifted the lid to reveal a porcelain green field covered with animals and two people. A shepherd boy and a shepherd girl danced to an Irish lullaby as Wes and Fred stared at the music box. A small card attached said only: _Happy Birthday Evi_

Fred grinned. "It's so pretty." Wesley leaned over and kissed her. She smiled and put her arms around him. "Sometimes I'm afraid." She whispered "Things can keep getting worse."

He hugged her tightly. "That's why we have to cherish right now."

She couldn't stop thinking about this prophecy. If Willow really was destined to be infected, if her dear friend was doomed to go through that horrible process, if Conner was also on that list, she couldn't bear the thought of it. But for now she was safe and warm and maybe tomorrow they would find a solution, but tonight had to be theirs. The sharp ring of the telephone broke their moment. Wesley sighed as he stood up and walked over to the phone. "Yes,"

…

Gunn and Buffy stood in front of the pyramid wall. Buffy moved her flashlight along the wall, illuminating the symbols. "Giles can tell us what these mean." She pulled out a phone.

"Wait," Gunn said "Giles is reading that book. I'll call Wes."

While Buffy waited for Gunn to finish his call she wondered off to look at the other walls of the pyramid and when she returned Gunn was hanging up his cellphone in the most aggressive manner one could. "Did he not know what the symbols mean?" Buffy asked

"He said he was coming over here to look himself."

"We don't have time for him to fly here all the way from-" Buffy began

Willow and Wesley materialized in front of them. "I told you we had it handled, we just need you to translate a few runes. We don't need you to come into the tomb with us." Gunn was agitated by the presence of his old friend. "Just translate the wall and then go back home."

"What's your problem?" Willow asked

Wesley was already examining the runes. "This is in code, it should reveal how to get inside the tomb, if one can decipher the pattern of the code." He was unfazed by Gunn's anger.

"How long will that take?" Buffy asked in an annoyed tone

Wesley reached out and tapped a few stones. Sand began to fall away from their feet and they all had to jump back to avoid falling down the hole that had just materialized. "Not too long I shouldn't think." Wesley said as Willow sent a magic sphere of light down the hole

"Show off," Buffy said with a chuckle "Come on lawman."

"Don't call me that." Gunn complained as he followed her

Wesley and Willow started after them. Gunn turned around. "You can't come."

"What if there are more runes you need translated?" Wesley said reasonably

"We'll call you."

"I doubt you'll get cell reception down there."

Buffy pulled out her cellphone to check. "He's right. We don't get service and we might need a translation. They should come." She continued forward as though the matter was settled.

Gunn grimaced but put up no further protest. They were careful as they made their way down the hall, all aware of the number of archeology action movies they had seen and the collective number of traps in those movies. The four of them knew cinema wasn't an accurate portrayal of life, especially in this case, but they were still weary. They came to a fork in the path and looked around for symbols to guide them. There were none. "Now what?" Buffy groused

"I guess we have to split up." Willow said as she waved her hand "Here," Her ball of light split in two and one hovered in front of each path. "If you see anything touch this and we'll come find you. If we see anything your ball will glow yellow and come toward us."

Buffy nodded. "Great plan, come on Gunn." She started down one path.

Gunn hesitated and looked at Wesley. He was already going down the other path with Willow, so Gunn sighed and followed the slayer. The teal light went ahead of them.

…

The vampires' guide gestured to a stone wall with no cracks or seams to indicate that there was a way through it. "This is as far as I go." The guide said in a thick accent

"How do we get through?" Spike asked

The guide shrugged. "I said I would take you to tomb."

"Yes," Spike said in a passive-aggressive tone "But how do we get in?"

The guide shrugged. "I don't know. Why would I know? I said no living thing could go in there and survive, so why would we know how to get inside? Is silly that you think that."

"Spike, I'm going to kill you." Angel said

"You said you wouldn't go in the tomb with us because there was no air! You never said you wouldn't show us how to get inside! This is not what we paid for! We need to get in!"

The guide was unperturbed by Spike's shouting. "Go in."

"How do we get in?" Spike was grinding his teeth.

The guide shrugged. "I don't know."

"I should have known you'd screw this up." Angel said "You screw everything up."

"Hey! I'm the one that figured out how to get us down here!"

"That's not doing us a lot of good right now Spike!"

…

"What was that about?" Buffy asked

Gunn feigned ignorance. "What do you mean?"

Willow's light led them forward down an unchanging tunnel. "Why were you acting like that toward Wesley? I thought he was your friend. I don't really like him all that much and even I wouldn't be that mean. Are you upset with him about something?" Buffy looked at the walls.

Gunn watched her examine a depiction of a ritual sacrifice. "I wasn't… Was I mean?"

"You were really mean."

"You wouldn't understand." Gunn said

"Well it's either listen to you try to explain or stare at more of these carvings, so…"

Gunn sighed. "Today is-" Gunn looked at his watch. "Was, his daughter's first birthday."

"And that explains things how?" Buffy asked

"Parents have responsibilities, you know? Parents can't just run off and put their lives in danger whenever they want. It's their job to be there for their kids. My parents… A part of me never forgave them for dying. I know it wasn't their fault, but they should have been there for me and Alonna. They died and then I had to be a parent. We were so young and I had to…"

Buffy stopped and turned around. She put her hand on Gunn's shoulder. "Hey," He met her gaze. Her eyes were stern but kind. "I do understand. When my mom died I had to take care of my sister and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. That means a lot coming from me."

Gunn realized that she did understand and the floodgates opened. "He can't just leave Fred and his daughter all alone. Even putting himself in a position where he might accidentally leave them in unacceptable. You have to be there for the people that depend on you."

"He is." Buffy said "Angel depends on him, so he's here to help him."

"What do you mean?" Gunn asked

Buffy turned around to continue down the passage, but she still answered. "When I knew Angel in Sunnydale he didn't have any friends. He had me, but we're not friends. Angel needs people that he can depend on that… aren't me. He needs friends. He depends on you, all of you."

"Well that's great for Angel." Gunn said "But Fred and Evi depend on Wes more."

"It doesn't work like that. You can care about more than one person." Buffy said

"I just mean-"

"You just mean that you want your friend to stay home and never put himself in any danger because he doesn't get to die. But none of us can choose when we die. That is something I have learned to be thankful for." Buffy looked over her shoulder and smiled. "Very thankful,"

…

Lilah knocked on the door. It opened to reveal a woman that was stunned when she saw the identity of her caller. "I told you not to follow me. What the hell are you doing here?"

The woman had changed, but she was also the same. Her hair was short now and she had died it blond. Was that a fashion statement or a disguise? "I'm not here as a representative of Wolfram & Hart." Lilah said "I know you don't believe me, and that's fine. You shouldn't believe me, you'd be an idiot if you did. I just want to tell you something Bethany."

"And I should listen why?" Bethany asked

"You shouldn't. But I had to try." Lilah spoke as fast as possible so she could get a few words in before the telekinetic slammed the door or used her powers to send Lilah flying down the hall. "Because I'm sorry Bethany. What I did to you was awful. I betrayed you in one of the worst ways a person can. I made you trust me for the explicit purpose of using you and I knew what I was going to do would ruin your life if it succeeded. I didn't care. I did what I did for my own selfish purposes and that was wrong. But that's not a revelation. I knew it was wrong when I was doing it. I didn't think you mattered. I thought you were a tool. I thought I could rip you into pieces and use the pieces to build something I needed. But… I am sorry now. I want to try to make it up to you Bethany, but I have no reason to expect you to allow me that chance."

Bethany stared at Lilah, stunned. Then her expression transformed into a mirthful one and Bethany began to chuckle. "Pretty elaborate Lilah, what's your real game?"

"I don't have a game. I'm surprised you didn't slam the door in my face. My plan kind of ended with you doing that. So, I'm sorry. I'll go now, unless there's something I could do."

"Even if what you say is true, I don't want anything to do with you." Bethany said

Lilah nodded. "Right," Lilah walked away. Bethany watched her go, and when she was sure that the woman was really gone she softly closed the door. She didn't know what to think.

…

Giles turned the page and his eyes widened as he came across a particular passage, he grabbed the phone so quickly he knocked the mug holding all his pens off his desk. As the pens rolled all over the floor he dialed Gunn's number. He tapped his desk repeatedly while he waited for Gunn to pick up. "Oh thank god! Gu- hello?" He looked at the phone as the prerecorded message continued. "Bloody hell." Giles moaned "When you get this message run as far away from that tomb as you can get. One of the artifacts of the old ones is in that tomb, it's a necklace, a green necklace. It drove the princess insane, that's how she died. She killed herself to rid her mind of the mad ramblings of the nameless one. Get away from that tomb right away." Giles put the phone down and ran his hand through his hair several times. Then he picked up the phone again and dialed another number. He had to get Buffy. He couldn't let anything happen to her.

…

Wesley put his finger in front of his lips and pointed ahead. Willow strained to listen as they took soft steps forward. Sand shifted under their feet, but they made no noise. The loud shouts of two vampires reached their ears. "This has always been your problem Spike!"

"Oh you're bloody rich! You've never had a good idea in your unlife! Or before!"

Willow and Wesley exchanged an amused look. Wesley cleared his throat. "Hello,"

Both vampires swiftly turned and drew their weapons. "Wesley?" Angel asked

"We came to rescue you." Willow said

Angel and Spike exchanged a confused look. "From what?" Spike asked

"The tomb is cursed." Wesley said "Well it might be. You weren't answering your phone so we teleported over here to warn you. It looks like we got here just in the nick of time."

"Not really," Spike said "Since we can't find a way into the bloody tomb."

"Oh," Willow said, sounding disappointed "That's not very dramatic."

"Would you have preferred for them to be bleeding from their eyeballs?" Wesley joked

"Only if I could fix it." Willow assured him

"Nice to know you care Red." Spike said

"You shouldn't have come here." Angel told Wesley

"Gunn said that too. Why do people keep trying to get rid of me?"

"Gunn's here?" Angel asked

"He's with Buffy." Willow explained

Angel groaned. "This night keeps getting worse and worse."

"Poor baby," Spike mocked

"We should get out of here." Wesley said "So that the curse can be researched and a safe way to retrieve the scroll can be found." As Wesley spoke an arrow came flying down the hall and hit the entrance to the tomb. The arrow snapped and fell to the ground as kindling, but not until it went through Wesley's arm. "Ow!" Wesley rubbed his arm, which was already healed.

The guide Angel and Spike had employed jumped. "We must go!"

"Who are those guys?" Spike asked

Before anyone could answer the wall to the tomb of the princess began to smoke and erode in front of their eyes. "The hell…" Spike said as the sand beneath their feet shifted and the five of them fell to the ground. Willow reached up and murmured something. Her hand stuck to the ceiling and she grabbed Wesley's hand to keep him from sliding into the tomb. She didn't have time to grab either of the vampires or their guide before all three of them had fallen through the door and down a deep vertical passage. The witch and watcher hanging from the ceiling stared at where their friends had vanished and then at the men pointing bows at them. "Bugger,"

…

Buffy was elated when the teal light turned yellow and changed direction. "They found Angel and Spike!" Buffy ran after the light, hoping it would match its speed to her.

"Hey," Gunn said as he followed her "Can I ask you something?"

"Is it about how I slept with Angel and Spike?" Buffy said in the tone of one who has had to answer similar inquiries several times and was past the point where it bothered her

Gunn was taken aback. "Well… yeah."

"No, I don't have an undead fetish. It's just a coincidence."

"Oh, okay."

The light illuminated the backs of several men, who turned around and pointed bows at the two of them. Buffy picked up the man in the front and tossed him into his fellows. Gunn tried to help Buffy fight the strangers, but he only got a few good shots in before the fight was over and the men were all on the ground, disarmed and moaning in pain. "Now," Buffy said

"Um Buff-"

Buffy looked up. "Willow?"

"Before you quip, do you think you could help us down?" Willow asked

"We'd really appreciate it." Wesley said

…

"Ughhh," Angel sat up and rubbed his head. "Are you-" He saw the guide writhing on the ground as he tried to breathe in an oxygen free environment. Angel went over to him, but the man was already on the verge of passing out. Angel looked up. "Shouldn't air be coming from up where we were?" But either it wasn't enough or a spell prevented the oxygen from getting to the tomb because soon the guide was dead. Angel looked away, heavy with guilt.

Spike got up and dusted off his coat. "Poor git,"

"This is all your fault Spike."

"Well the guy was trying to fleece us."

"I was actually talking about us being stuck here and possibly about to fall victim to a terrible curse, but that man's death is also your fault now that you mention it. Good job."

"Do you know what your problem is?" Spike asked

"Here we go. No Spike, what's my problem? Why don't you tell me?"

"You don't want to be happy. I don't mean perfectly happy or even kind of happy, you don't want to not be miserable. You like brooding too much. You would rather avoid any and all contact with people you like than have a healthy relationship with anyone. You would rather avoid Buffy than maybe find out that she loves you enough to be with you even if you can't give her everything she wants. You would rather hide from Fred and Wesley than find out that they forgive you and want to be your friend. You think you don't deserve to be happy, and you know what Angel? You're right. But none of us do. So stop thinking you're so very special."

Spike was staring at Angel with clenched fists. Angel was glaring at Spike with a look of utter and total hate. "Are you done?" Angel asked "Because I've had enough of your crap."

"I was done with your crap a hundred and thirty years ago." Spike said

"I remember when you couldn't get enough of me." Angel mocked "Oh Angelus, you're so vicious and creative. Teach me your ways. I want to be just like you. You're so beautiful."

"Fuck you mate."

"I'm not your mate."

"Thank God!"

The vampires drew closer. Angel heard a whisper in his ear. _Come here. Let me out of this cursed place. I want to come home. I will give you presents, beautiful presents. _"I don't know what Dru ever saw in you. You're nothing but a pretentious little bitch." _Kill him._

"I'm more of a man than you will ever be. I own up to who I am. You hide." _He is nothing compared to you. You deserve what he has. I can give it to you. Come to me._

"Spike?" Angel asked

"What?" Spike growled

"Do you hear that?"

Spike straightened and looked around. "Yeah,"

…

Buffy stared at where Angel and Spike had fallen through. "So an arrow hit the wall and it just… dissolved. That seems like pretty bad security if you ask me. Imagine if bank vaults were designed that way. It would be a nightmare." Buffy stepped closer and as the sand started to slide under her feet Willow grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Thanks Will," Buffy said

Wesley was staring at where the wall had been. "There is more to all of this than meets the eye. I don't think the arrow had anything to do with why the wall dissolved."

Willow caught on. "You think it was your blood. The magic broke a spell."

"Or activated one, yes." Wesley agreed

"So how do we get Angel and Spike back?" Buffy asked

Wesley and Willow shared a look. "Do we get no points for figuring out why they disappeared in the first place?" Willow asked "Do you only appreciate solutions?"

"Right now, yes. You've been a teacher too long Will. Practical applications,"

"That's Fred's class," Wesley said "I just translate stuff."

"Urgh," Buffy looked away from them. "Giles mock two and three."

…

"I have a bad feeling about this." Giles said as he stood outside the pyramid with Dawn, Kennedy, and Fred. "Say we go in there and they are in trouble. Buffy went in to save Angel, so we go in to save her, and then we get caught. It could be a trap. We'd be walking into it."

"You're the one who called us Giles." Kennedy said

"Because I thought we might be able to figure out a way to get them out without having to go inside the pyramid ourselves. For all we know the next old one is in there right now."

"Yeah?" Kennedy said "The purple bitch doesn't seem so tough. She didn't even kill anybody when she attacked the school. I bet I could take her in a fight." Kennedy was confused when all three of her companions stared at her like she had just eaten a cockroach. "What?"

"We have to get down there." Fred looked at her feet. "The ground has been disturbed."

"This must open." Dawn said "That would explain the pattern."

Giles looked at the symbols on the wall. "I believe you're right Dawn. This appears to be the instructions for getting in. Are you all sure you want to do this? It will be very dangerous."

"Open the door." Kennedy said

…

Spike and Angel walked further into the tomb. It seemed that there were several rooms down here and they were not in the actual burial chamber. This room was filled with scrolls and items of great power. Angel picked up a dagger that was humming with magic. He set it down gently and then looked at Spike. "There's a lot of stuff in here, it would take a long time to get through all of it. The scroll might not even be in here, it might be in another room."

"With whatever is whispering in our heads." Spike said

"Yeah, I'm concerned about that." Angel admitted

"Don't worry. If I was going to kill you I would have done it a long time ago."

Angel scowled. "Well let's get started looking for the scroll."

Angel went in a random direction and found himself in front of the door to the next room looking at a shelf with only a single glass orb on it. He decided not to pick it up because that would be dangerous, then he picked it up. Angel's fingers clenched around the glass as sensations assaulted his mind. Angel cried out in pain, but he wasn't sure if that was just in his head or out loud. He saw a million things from a million different places. He saw the princess squeal with delight. "Oh brother it is lovely!" He didn't know the language she was speaking, but he understood her anyway. She had brown skin that glistened under the light of all the lamps hanging in her room. Her brother's hands placed the emerald necklace on her neck and it sparkled in a similar way to the drops of oil on her skin. "Oh I shall never take it off!"

Angel gasped and dropped the orb. As the world came back into focus he found himself looking at Spike who was standing in front of him holding the orb. Spike had caught the glass orb before it could shatter. "Be careful. You shouldn't touch anything you don't have to."

"It's here." Angel responded

"What's here?"

"We have to go."

…

As Wesley and Willow talked over a spell they might use to summon Angel and Spike from their current location to where the spell was cast Buffy paced, agitated. "I want to hit something, I hate just standing around doing nothing. Why is there nothing to hit?"

"Calm down." Gunn said "Something big and nasty will show up."

She gave him a hopeful look. "You think?"

"That's the trend." Gunn assured her

They heard footsteps behind them. "You found it. You found her tomb." Es stood there in all of her violet glory. "I had desired to find it first, but I am rather glad you beat me." She saw that the door to the tomb was gone. "I need not even spill any of my blood. Illyria must have taken care of that problem. Thank her for me mortal." She told Wesley "Now I go."

As Es started toward the tomb Buffy stepped in front of her. "I don't think so."

Es sighed. "Stupid mortal," Es hit Buffy hard enough to send her flying toward the entrance to the tomb. Willow grabbed her friend's hand, but Buffy's momentum pulled Willow along the loose sand. With the earth displaced beneath him Wesley lost his balance as well and the three of them tumbled through the hole. Gunn gaped at the scene. "Oh dear," Es said

Gunn's voice shook. "There's no oxygen down there. They'll die."

"Fair point. It is a certainty for the slayer and the witch. I detest certainty." Es drove her fist through the wall at several points. The structure shook. "If I destroy enough walls the spell will be useless and oxygen will be able to get into the tomb. Of course you might all die anyway if you get stuck here. But you are a resourceful lot. I'm sure you can find a way out." Es went to the tomb entrance and went down the same way Gunn's friends had. Gunn stepped back.

"Charles!" Gunn turned around and saw Fred, Giles, Dawn, and Kennedy.

"Fred?! What are you doing here?!"

"This structure is coming down. We have to go." Giles said

Fred answered Gunn. "One of the artifacts is here. We need to be careful or someone might be infected. Where is everybody else?" Fred fell as the pyramid continued to shake.

Gunn helped her up. "They're in the tomb! Es is too!" A stone fell from the ceiling and Kennedy yanked Giles and Dawn out of the way. "We have to stop her from getting that artifact any way we can! Another old one can't rise!" More stones fell and they all shielded their heads.

"Agreed!" Giles said "That is top-" The floor fell away and they all tumbled down.

…

Buffy moaned as someone helped her to her feet. "How am I not dead?"

She blinked and saw Angel pulling Wesley and Willow to their feet. Spike was in front of her still holding her hand. "That's an excellent question." Wesley said "Magic I would think."

Willow rolled her eyes. "That's what you say when you don't know. I use that trick too Wesley, it doesn't work on me." She looked around. "Wow! Look at all of this stuff!"

"The scroll's not here." Angel said "But that's the least of our problems. There's a necklace with green crystals that is the artifact for one of the old ones. It has some kind of power over people. It caused the death of the princess somehow and it said stuff to me and Spike."

The room began to shake. "That's not good." Buffy whispered

"Willow can you make a spell to find the necklace?" Angel asked

"She cannot." Es entered the room with these words. "But it will tell you where it is if you only listen. It will cry out to you with more power than any of the others have. For we were trapped in these objects, cut off from this world. The nameless one is different. She is mad and her true name is madness. Any who hear her name shall perish for it is the name of what she is and what she is is lunacy. Her knowledge is damning even to our own kind. When the princess wore the necklace the one with no name whispered in her ear and took her mind. She will do the same to you while you are trapped down here. But fear not, I am your savior. I will take it away."

"To set her loose?" Angel asked

"Yes," Es said

"We can't let you do that."

"You cannot stop me, but it intrigues me that you would try. It intrigues me that you would sacrifice the fabric of your minds for your cause. So I will honor your choice. You may go mad down here. If any of you wish to be spared speak up and I will save you from your fate."

Wesley remembered waking up from an insanity so awful they had been forced to put him in a coma to spare him. This was worse than that for it had driven insane the kin of what could live easily with what had been in Wesley's head. He had just gotten his life back and now he was being asked to throw it away again. He looked at Willow and saw a fear in her that mirrored his own. He looked at Buffy. She stood defiant, but the fear was there. The two vampires were also not unaffected. Yet none of them spoke up. "Leave this place." Angel said

"As you wish. You will die. But tell me now that your decision is made."

"It's made." Angel said

"You must all say it."

"Leave us here." Buffy said and was then echoed by the other three

Es stared at Buffy. "Your mentor is here slayer."

Buffy's eyes widened. "Giles?"

"Indeed," Es looked at Angel. "And your dark friend."

"Gunn," Angel knew he was here, but hated to be reminded.

"The girl you looked after." Es told Spike

"Dawny," Spike looked away.

"Your former lover," Es told Willow, who responded with a quiet shiver "Your current lover is here." Es told Wesley "You all have people you care for, several people that you care for, here. Sisters, friends, lovers, and they too will be worn down. Will you yield?"

For a moment no one spoke. "Take the necklace." Spike said "Save them, and us."

"As you wish," Es disappeared

"Well if I wasn't already going to hell…" Spike said

Before anyone could respond, or even think of how to respond, the shaking got worse and stone fell from the ceiling. A crack developed in the ceiling. Spike and Buffy stepped back toward the vertical passage. Willow was right under the crack and Buffy yanked her back just in time to get her out of the way of the huge slab of stone that came down. Angel saw it coming and knew he had no time to get over to the other side, so he grabbed Wesley and pulled him back toward the entrance to the other room. When the dust cleared they were all trapped. No one knew how to get out or to their absent friends. "Excellent," Buffy said


	7. Ghosts

Kennedy opened her eyes and saw mostly darkness with the flashlight that she had dropped shining a single ray of light at the ceiling. Kennedy reached for the flashlight and then cried out in pain when the movement sent jolts of agony through her. She panted as though she had just run a marathon. She looked down and saw the sticky red fluid staining her clothes and tears, not of sadness or fear, but of insurmountable pain, ran down her face. "Please," She did not know who she was begging or for what, but the pain made it seem like that was the thing to say.

…

Lorne entered his office and dropped a stack of papers upon seeing who was sitting at his desk turned to the side and fiddling with something he couldn't see. "Sit down Pylean. I much desire to speak with you." Lorne was afraid to sit down, but he was more afraid to disobey her, so he took the chair in front of his desk. "Something marvelous just happened to me."

"Oh?" Lorne said nervously

"Yes, I was in a place and I found for a brief moment a totality of uncertainty in which I yielded control over not just the fate of what was around me, but my own fate. I allowed others to decide what would happen next and the possibilities became infinite. I felt the entropy expand exponentially and I was filled with a euphoria I have not known since I was here. Glorious,"

"I'm glad you're so happy." Lorne was shaking with terror. "Who did you allow to decide your fate?" Lorne hoped it wasn't those council guys or a bloodthirsty demon.

"Your friends green one, I gave them power. I let them decide if I would be able to free the next old one." She turned and lifted the necklace high. Lorne got to his feet and stumbled back, but she grabbed him and pushed him against the wall. She held the necklace in front of his face while he flinched and tried to hold his breath. "That's odd." Es said as nothing happened

"I thought the next artifact was a jewelry box." Lorne said

"It is." Es sounded disappointed. "Then this is useless until I have found the box."

Lorne almost fainted with relief. "Even more chaos then?"

This seemed to cheer her up. "Yes I suppose. Your friends will find the box if they ever find their way out of that tomb. For the scroll that will lead them to it is there."

"Angel and Spike are trapped in the tomb?" Lorne asked

"As are two slayers, Illyria's host, his mate, the one who freed me, the witch, the mentor, and the sister of the slayer. I leave you now, so that I may find the box before they find a way to get free, if they find a way to get free." Es smiled and then vanished. Panting with terror and anxiety Lorne practically jumped on his desk in his eagerness to get to the phone.

…

Lilah sat in the café thinking about Bethany. Their brief meeting had been exhausting, which surprised Lilah. All they had done was talk, but each word weighed on her like a two ton stone and as Lilah sipped her coffee she found that all she wanted to do was sleep. Now that this was done Lilah didn't know what to do. Perhaps she should go visit her mother with the time she had left on her vacation, but this was supposed to be about making amends. Yet the idea of seeking out another person that she had wronged was even more exhausting. "What could make a person like you change?" Lilah turned around and Bethany was there, scowling.

"Bethany," Lilah was too surprised to say anything else.

"I still don't believe you. But I want to hear your fairy tale."

"Would you like to sit down? I'll order you something to drink."

"I don't want anything paid for with your blood money." But Bethany did sit down.

"It's a rather long story. But the short version is that I died and went to hell-"

"Seems reasonable,"

Lilah forced herself to smile. "Very, but I didn't like it. The senior partners, they are what run Wolfram & Hart, brought me back to keep an eye on Angel. He saved the world from an old enemy of the senior partners and they gave him the L.A. branch of Wolfram & Hart as a reward that he could use to fight evil instead of support it if he wanted. I was the liaison."

"But it was all a trick right?" Bethany asked "You were just trying to screw Angel over."

"It's a bit more complicated than that, but yes. Do you remember that fellow that worked with Angel, the British guy?" Lilah looked down at her drink so Bethany couldn't see her face.

"Sure, I remember him. I didn't like him."

Lilah was intrigued by this, but continued her story. "The senior partners wanted him dead and I intervened on an assassination plot. I would have been sent back to hell if Angel hadn't interfered on my behalf. He gave me a second chance. At first I worked with Angel because he was the only option, but now I want… I want to change Bethany. I've done bad things, and I'll do more. I killed three men a few months ago and I don't regret it. But I do regret what I did to you. I do regret a lot of the things I've done. I want to change who I am."

Bethany stared at Lilah and Lilah met her gaze. "So you work with Angel now?"

"Yes, I-" Her phone went off. Lilah silenced the device. "I work with Angel."

"He trusts you?"

"No, not unless he has to." A ping let Lilah know she had a text and next to Lorne's name the numbers 911 and several exclamation points shouted at her. The phone started vibrating and Lilah sighed. "Can you give me just one second?" Lilah answered the phone with a venomous tone "What part of week-long vacation do you not understand? I'm off the clock."

Bethany could hear the person shouting at the other end. "Most of our people and a bunch of the scoobies got trapped in that tomb Angel went to explore! We have to rescue them!"

Lilah sighed. "I'll be right there." She hung up the phone. "I have to-"

"I want to go." Bethany said

"What?"

"I want to go with you. Angel saved me once, I'll return the favor."

"All right, I think I have a plan. But we'll need one other person."

…

Buffy turned her head and looked for her companions. She could see nothing in the total darkness that she was trapped in. She cautiously ran her hands down her body, searching for serious injuries. "Really love, can't you wait until we're safe? I'll do it for you then."

Buffy blushed. "I was checking for wounds."

"I know." She felt a hand on hers and she used it to pull herself up. She still couldn't see anything and Spike's voice was all she had in the dark. "I was just teasing you. We lost captain forehead, Red, and watcher boy. I think the brood master is over there." Buffy couldn't see where Spike was pointing, but it hardly mattered. "I saw him grab Wesley and dive out of the way of the falling ceiling. No idea where Red is though, I thought you had her."

"So did I." Buffy said "Can you smell her?"

"No, but that means she's probably not bleeding, so let's be thankful for that."

Buffy nodded her assent. "Wait, can you see?"

"Just barely love," Spike assured her "Just enough to see how buggered we are."

Buffy realized she was still holding his hand and dropped it. "Is there any way out?"

"None that I can see, hence the buggered."

Buffy put her hands out in front of her and started forward. She tripped on a rock and Spike had to grab her shoulders to keep her from falling over. "Thanks," She said

"My advice is to sit tight." Spike said

"What and starve to death?" Buffy asked

"We can't punch our way out of this one. What are you going to do, dig a tunnel?"

"Maybe," Buffy said angrily

"Well be my guest. All you'll do is ruin your lovely nails."

"I have to find Dawn!" Buffy shouted "How can you be so calm?!"

"Because I know when there's nothing you can do." Spike said "One of the others might be able to get out and then come back with help, but we're in no position to do anything."

"Help?" Buffy said "I'm the rescue party, and my rescue party is trapped down here too, so who exactly is coming to help us? Maybe if we start moving some of these rocks we can-"

"Bring the whole bloody thing down on our heads?" Spike suggested

"You don't have to help." Buffy said "Just stay out of my way."

…

Fred pulled a small device out of her pocket and set it on the ground. A pure white light filled every corner and crevice of where she was trapped. The light illuminated a prone body and she scrambled over to it. "Charles!" She touched his shoulder and he moaned. She saw blood and ascertained that it was coming from a horrible gash in his arm. The wound was gushing blood, but it seemed to be his only serious injury. Fred pulled off her jacket and wrapped Gunn's arm in it while she got out bandages and disinfectant. "You're going to be all right." She said

"Fred," He moaned

"It's me, it's all right."

"Hurts,"

"I know, but I'm going to take care of you."

Gunn felt the familiar sensation of her hands on his body as she pulled him up and leaned him against the wall. He felt a sting of pain as she cleaned his wounds and bandaged the one on his arm that was leaking so profusely. He closed his eyes and remembered many times in the Hyperion where she had tended to his wounds after a bad battle with a few undead nasties and concluded her efforts with a passionate kiss. He hadn't thought about that in a long time. "Am I going to die?" He asked her while he remembered the magic bullet he had lost with his memories

"Course not silly, you're going to be just fine." There was that Texas twang, more pronounced when she was nervous. It let him know that this was worse than she let on.

"You're lying."

"You bumped your head and hurt your arm is all. We just have to keep you awake and then you'll be right as rain. You might feel nauseous and disoriented, but that's normal."

"I do feel disoriented." Gunn said "I feel tired."

"You stay awake mister. You hear me?"

Gunn tried to focus his gaze. He saw her face, but it was fuzzy. "I remember."

"Remember what?"

"He made us forget. Then we remembered, but we were all so busy."

"You're talking about the memory spell?" Fred asked

"How can you know if you love someone, if all your memories of them are fake?"

"Gunn-"

"Seems impossible, if you don't know what's real."

…

Angel looked around the room. "Do you have a plan?"

He saw Wesley turn to face the direction of Angel's voice. "Not presently,"

"But you're working on one?"

"Don't get too hopeful." Wesley said

Angel's gaze fell on a few of the mystical artifacts in the room. "Maybe we can use some of this… stuff, to get us out of here. It's magical right? We can magic our way out of here."

"Bad idea." Wesley said "We don't know what any of these things do."

"Right, we might turn ourselves into rats."

"Which," Wesley said "Might actually be helpful in finding a way out of here but would leave us with the problem that once we were on the surface we would be… rats."

"So that's a no on that plan." Angel said "Gunn would kill us."

"Yes, he does rather detest rats." Angel watched Wesley reach out and find the wall, which he proceeded to feel his way along while carefully avoiding things that might trip him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm- you can see?"

"Vampire," Angel reminded him

"Right, of course. Well I'm looking for that door."

"It's over here." Angel took Wesley's arm and guided him to the door. Angel then tried various things to open the door. He threw his body against the stone to no avail.

"I have an idea. Find a sharp rock." Wesley said

Angel picked one up and then was stunned when Wesley sliced open his hand and placed it against the door. The door smoked and dissolved like the other had. "Doesn't that hurt?"

"Only for a second," Wesley said nonchalantly "Come on,"

The next room was very similar to the one they had just been in, but it was less of a disaster area. There were still broken columns and parts of the roof that had fallen, but overall the damage was less extensive. "While we're stuck here," Angel said "We can find the scroll."

"Well you can, I can't see anything."

"Right, well I'll get on that." Angel was kind of glad that Wesley couldn't see him and that if Angel was quiet it would be like they weren't even in the same room. Now that the immediate danger had passed Angel was back to feeling awkward. He didn't want to talk to Wesley and he didn't even know what they could talk about. Having a task to focus on helped keep his mind off of just how bad he had let things get between them. Of course Angel hadn't taken into account that Wesley might start talking and as Angel looked for the scroll he did.

"Thank you for the gift, it was quite nice."

Crap, Angel struggled to find an acceptable response. "I just thought music was the kind of thing you can enjoy at any age. Because who doesn't like… music. It's nice, music is."

"Sure," The awkward silence grew and grew, filling the room. "What's going on?"

"What?" Angel was taken aback by how forthright that was. "Nothing,"

"Angel,"

Angel sighed. This was bound to happen eventually. He decided to just be honest and then whatever happened next happened. "I've missed you." Maybe that was too honest.

A short pause. "I missed you too."

For some reason this irritated Angel. It rang like a lie. "Really Wesley? What exactly do you miss about me? Is it my tendency to turn evil on occasion? Is it my way of always being able to find a way to hurt the people I care about? I've never brought you anything but trouble."

"That's not true."

"So what is it then that you miss about me?"

Angel was no longer looking for the scroll, instead he was staring at his functionally blind friend. "I do miss those things about you. When I was a kid my father told me there was no such thing as heroes. He told me that there was the side of good and the side of evil and there was no grey area in between. It was a war, and war isn't pretty. Heroes were an ideal, and we couldn't afford ideals because we were fighting a war. A person could never be anything more than a weapon in this war. We were all just what we could contribute. The slayers never used to be treated like people because they weren't. They were tools to be used up and thrown away, innocent lives to be sacrificed because war demands sacrifice. But you are a hero. Not only that, but you're flawed. You fuck up all the time, but you are undeniably the hero I was always told did not exist. You gave me hope, because if you could exist, maybe that means that my life with all its flaws could also mean something. Maybe it wasn't just about numbers and recourses, maybe I mattered. Because I was always told I didn't, that nobody did. But that was wrong."

Angel didn't know what to say. "He really told you that, told you that you didn't matter?"

Wesley shrugged. "That's not the point. You made so many mistakes, and then you became humanity's champion. That's how you got through to Faith. No one else could have told her what you did because no one else had the credibility. Buffy may have made mistakes, but she has always been a hero. If she had told Faith she could be redeemed it would have sounded empty, but when you told her that Angel she believed. Because you were as far down as anyone could ever be, but you climbed back up and kept going. People like Faith and I, when we look at you we see that it's possible to go the distance, to make it to the other side. Faith saw that she could leave behind the sadistic torturer and become a slayer, and you made me believe that I could set aside that pathetic little boy and become a man. You make damaged people believe that there could be a day when they're like you. You make us believe we're redeemable."

Angel looked at his feet. "I didn't know that."

"That's what makes you a hero. You're not in it to be worshipped by the masses, or to get the girl, or for a shiny reward. You do what you think it right because it's right. You aren't a robotic bureaucrat that sees this as a battle of numbers. You care about the people, even the people most would have given up on long ago. And you don't even realize what you're doing because you value human life so much it never even occurred to you to give up on them, on us."

"But I did." Angel said "I did give up, so many times."

"You came back."

"Is that enough?"

"It's the best any of us can do." Wesley said

"But you were right. I was so angry when you took Conner, so angry that you would ever believe I could do something like that. Then it happened. I hurt Fred, and it wasn't as though something like that had never happened before. I had Sunnydale behind me, but I still thought I could control things and keep people safe. You were the only one who saw things clearly and I tried to kill you. Now you've been proven right, so why aren't you the least bit angry?"

"It wasn't your fault. None of us were thinking clearly."

"I tried to kill you."

"But you didn't, not even when you should have. If you had killed me when I was infected Cordelia would still be alive. We all loved her so much, and now she's gone."

"That wasn't your fault." Angel said

"Why does it have to be anybody's fault? Why are you so obsessed with assigning blame to everything? Can't something just be a tragedy? Can't it just suck? Can't what happened with Conner, and Cordy, and Fred just be terrible things that happened that we mourn? Can't we mourn together because that's what people do when they care about each other?"

Angel was quiet for a long time and his eventual response was a whisper. "I never thought about it like that. I thought I had to be accountable for all of these terrible things."

"Well you don't."

"That's it then? We just move on? How do you do that? How do you just decide that something can't be changed and then move forward? How is that even possible?"

"I learned it from you."

"What do you mean?"

"Because you got up every day, well most days, and fought. That's what a hero is Angel, it isn't a title that you earn with good deed tokens. It's fighting, every day, because it's right."

Angel turned away. "We need to find that scroll." Angel blinked away tears.

…

Dawn helped Giles to his feet. "This could have gone better." She said

"I told you we should have tried to find a way to get them out without actually entering the pyramid itself. If you had all been less impulsive we wouldn't be in this situation."

"When my sister is in danger logic kind of vanishes." Dawn said

"Your sister is always in danger. That's no excuse."

"You panicked too. You called us. You demanded we find a way to save Buffy, you were just as worried as I was. So don't act like I'm alone in the being irresponsible front."

"I'm not." Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them, returning them to his face even though he couldn't see out of them. "Did you happen to bring an extra flashlight?"

A beam of light illuminated the room, revealing Dawn standing in front of him with a furious expression on her face. She scanned the walls. "We're trapped." She said

"It would appear so."

"You came down here with us." Dawn said

"And I was wrong." Giles said "I let my emotions rule me. I now realize that we can no longer afford to prioritize each other's lives over our jobs. That could kill us all, and the world."

"A world where we have to let each other die is not worth saving." Dawn said

"I think the innocent people all over the world who know nothing of old ones and ancient prophecies might disagree with you. I think a kindergarten teacher might take issue with your statement when she looks at the faces of her thirty students. Our mission is paramount."

"So what are you saying?" Dawn asked

"First of all I'm saying we need to get out of here."

…

Willow walked through the rubble and destruction while sending multiple spheres of light throughout the devastation to find her friends. She saw a large piece of wall lying on its side leading upwards and wondered if it could take her closer to the surface. She started to climb up the sheer surface, whispering a spell over her hands to give her traction. When she got to the top she saw one of her lights come back a different color. She gestured and it began to lead her to whoever it had found. Willow entered a minefield of sharp rocks and uneven surfaces which Kennedy lay among. Willow gasped. "Kennedy!" She hurried over the dangerous terrain.

Kennedy was sweating and very pale. "Hey," She flinched, the act of speaking had caused her severe distress. She continued anyway. "I found you." Kennedy tried to smile.

"Yeah, you found me." Willow said

"Am I going to die?" Willow knelt down next to Kennedy.

"No," Willow put her hand a centimeter over Kennedy's body and then moved it down her height. She felt the energy in this woman and where it was twisted and broken.

"You're going to fix me?"

"Of course I am." Willow promised

"Tougher than I thought, brought the building down."

"Try not to talk." Willow said

"If you can't fix me you'll tell me right? I'd like to know."

"I'll fix you."

"But if you can't-" Kennedy gasped in pain. "You'll tell me?"

"I'll tell you, promise. Now try to relax."

…

"She might have already infected the next person." Buffy was still feeling around where they were trapped, 'looking' for a way out. "There might already be another one out there."

"I know." Spike said

"Why'd you do it?" Buffy asked

"I knew someone was going to, thought I might be able to carry it easier. I have a lot on my conscious and one more thing, even something like this, won't make that big a difference."

"That was very selfless of you." Buffy said

"I do that sometimes."

"You don't have to tell me that. I haven't forgotten."

"Right,"

"Although waiting so long to tell me you were alive was pretty selfish." Buffy said

"I thought you'd be better off without me."

Buffy angrily turned toward his voice. "Walk over here so I can slap you."

"Well gee that sounds tempting, but-"

"I'm so sick of people telling me what's best for me! That's my decision."

An orb of light entered the room. "What's that?" Spike asked

"Willow," The relief on Buffy's face from the realization that her friend had survived made her look so beautiful. Spike reached out and touched her face. Buffy jumped in surprise and turned to look at him. The greenish blue light made him look even paler than he normally did, even more dead. But she didn't care. "Willow's all right." The light turned yellow and started to float away. It slipped through a crack. "We should try to follow it, move those…"

Buffy grabbed Spike and began to kiss him repeatedly. "Buffy," He moaned

"Spike," Buffy's voice was husky.

"What about the light?"

"Stop talking."

…

"What's that?" Gunn asked

Fred was fiddling with some electronic device. "Sort of like a homing beacon." She said

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure,"

"Will you look at me?"

Fred looked up from where she was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the room over to where Gunn sat leaning against the wall. "This is kind of hard to do when I can't see it."

"I just need to tell you I'm sorry. I was really out of it. I feel better now."

"I know." She smiled at him before returning to her work. "Thanks for the movies."

"Every kid needs a little Disney in their life."

"My favorite when I was a kid was Fantasia." Fred said "I loved Mickey's part. My dad liked the devil at the end. My mom didn't so much, but she enjoyed the church chorus after."

"I didn't see that one. But my sister and I used to watch _Pinocchio _over and over again when we lived with our grandmother. She loved the no strings song and she would dance to it in front of the TV. She tried to sing along, but she always got the words wrong. I pretended she didn't though. Sometimes she convinced me to dance with her. I kind of wish I had more."

"I'm sure she appreciated every time you did."

"One time we were watching _Cinderella_ and she said she wanted glass slippers. I told her when we were big and I had a bunch of money I would buy her a pair of glass shoes." Gunn was appalled to realize that he was crying. He rubbed his face to try to stop the flow, but he couldn't.

Fred was sitting next to him now, hugging him. "I'm so sorry."

"She was so innocent, so good. I wanted to protect her and I couldn't."

"You did the best you could."

"I wanted to protect you too, but you didn't want me to."

Fred gently ended their hug. "Charles-"

"I just mean- When we were together I wanted to keep you innocent. But you were never the person I thought you were. You were so much braver and stronger than I thought you were, than I wanted you to be. I guess that's why we couldn't have worked out, regardless."

Fred looked at her hands. "I'm not a slayer like Faith, but I'm not Cinderella."

"That's what I love about her. Because no woman is ever going to be the sweet defenseless damsel I need to protect. But Faith could go toe to toe with me any day of the week and kick my ass every time. I never had to worry about her. I could relax. Then that monster took her away. It's like some kind of cruel joke. The woman I wanted to protect didn't need me and the woman I thought could handle herself got snatched away. It's not fair, it's not right."

Fred put her hand on Gunn's shoulder. "We'll get her back." Fred stood up and went back over to her homing beacon while Charles Gunn tried to stay awake.

…

"It's not here." Angel said

"Is there another door?" Wesley asked

"Yeah, you're not going to slice your hand open again are you?"

"Does it bother you?"

"I just- Oh you mean because of the blood. No, it doesn't smell good anymore."

This gave Wesley pause. "Because of Illyria?"

It occurred to Angel that maybe he shouldn't have said that. Too late to go back now, he would just have to forge ahead. "It just doesn't… smell like, that is to say…" Angel fidgeted.

"It doesn't smell human anymore. I'm not human anymore."

"No, you-"

"Angel, how did Illyria lose her powers again?"

"What?" That was not what Angel was expecting.

"Illyria killed Cordy and then lost her powers. But what made her lose her powers?"

"Cordelia was going through a transformation. Her blood…"

"The blood of an old one is very powerful, but also volatile."

"You think if their blood is tainted they lose their powers."

"I do."

…

Dawn saw an orb of light. "Giles look." She whispered urgently

"Willow is okay, thank God." Giles said

Something cold went through the room. "What was that?" Dawn asked

The light went out. It didn't change color or move out of sight, it vanished as though it had been swallowed. "I don't think it was anything good." Giles took Dawn's arm and pulled her closer to him while the room got colder and colder. "We may have disturbed something."

"Something like a ghost?" Dawn asked

"Well-"

An unearthly scream cut Giles off. "What are you doing here?! Get out!" Giles and Dawn both fell to their knees in pain. Dawn put her hand to her ear and found that it was bleeding.

"Yes, I would say a ghost is a good assumption!"

…

Willow felt the flow of energy in Kennedy's body right itself as she worked her magic and the wounds began to heal. "Oh," Kennedy said in a tone approaching orgasmic "That feels great baby." Willow was thrown off by the term, but then reminded herself that Kennedy was bound to feel a little disoriented. The sudden loss of pain must indeed be an incredible feeling.

"Soon you'll be able to get up and we can find a way out of here."

Something cold went through Willow. On instinct she broke her connection with Kennedy, but it was too late. Kennedy screamed and arched her back. Kennedy began to thrash back and forth while she cried out in agony. Willow reached for her, but the temperature of Kennedy's skin was so cool it hurt. Kennedy shook like an asphyxiating fish and then fell still while Willow watched in horror. "Get out!" Something screamed "Get out of here now!"

…

Fred looked up at the ceiling as it began to shake. "Oh no," She whispered

"Is that going to come down on our heads?" Gunn asked

Fred went over to where Gunn was sitting. "We'll be safest at the edges of the room."

The whole room was shaking now. Gunn put his arms around his friend and she buried her head in his chest, eyes clenched shut. They held tight to each other while the shaking increased, and then as sudden as it had started it was over. They looked up and the sun was shining down into where they were. Through a bullhorn the voice of Lilah Morgan came down and entered their ears. "I wonder what your baby daddy would think of this scene." Lilah teased

"Lilah?" Fred was stunned.

"All right! We're getting rescued!" Gunn said

…

Gwen smiled at Bethany. "I told you I picked up on an electronic signal."

Bethany rolled her eyes. "You're incredible." She said sarcastically "Are you ready?"

"Whenever you are."

Bethany held out her hand and sand flew up from the chamber where Gunn and Fred were trapped, forming a zigzag pattern. When the pattern reached them Gwen touched the sand and the pattern hardened into glass. They were now all standing in front of a glass staircase that glittered in the Egyptian sun. "Pretty," Lilah said before raising her bullhorn "Climb up!"

Lilah saw Fred and Gunn hesitate, but then begin to climb the stairs. They were nervous to trust something transparent and breakable with their lives, but they wanted out of the tomb more than they were afraid of the staircase. A few minutes later Lilah squinted at a blue snake of light that was winding and unwinding on the ground making odd patterns. Before she could comment on it the light touched the bottom of the staircase. The blue light traveled through the glass at a frantic speed and when it reached the top of the staircase the glass shattered, leaving Gunn and Fred falling through the air to their deaths with a million pieces of jagged glass.

…

Something cold ran over their skin. Buffy was reaching for Spike. He was right there in front of her, but it wasn't close enough. The cold permeated their flesh, living and dead, and they were both sick with it. Buffy pulled Spike closer, seeking warmth from his cold dead flesh with an illogical yet primal drive. "I love you Buffy." Spike told her "I love you so much."

"You can't stand it can you, the cold?"

"No, I can't."

"Me neither."

…

"There it is." Angel said the moment they stepped through the doorway

"The scroll?" Wesley asked

Before Angel could answer the room was lit with a blue light that seemed to have no source, but simply existed in an illogical state of being. A golden alter was toppled over, Angel thought it might have held the necklace Es took. A transparent sarcophagus showed a mummy holding a scroll in her hands. "I wonder why Es didn't take it." Angel mused

"Maybe she couldn't." Wesley said

"You can't either." A voice so high it hurt said

Angel and Wesley looked around for the source but, like the light, the sound had no origin and their search led to nothing. "Who are you?" Wesley asked as he stared at the scroll

"She killed me. That thing took her, but it can't free her without the scroll."

"You're the princess." Wesley said

The girl's high voice was tainted with a tear-choked sound. "She whispered in my ear every second of the day. There was no escape. She settled on my neck and told me that she would make me happy. She told me secrets and brought me joy. But it wasn't enough. She had to make everyone happy. I had to do it for her. It was impossible. Some people are made happy by the misery of others and some love the sun while others long for the rain. I couldn't give her everything she wanted and she whispered in my ear. She made me feel their pain. I couldn't take her off because I couldn't abandon the happiness she gave me. I could not exist without her, but being with her was such sweet agony. It hurt so badly. That thing took her away from my tomb and wants to set her free. If she is free she will take you all. She will make you happy. She will wear away your edges and make sea glass. Everything will fall away but how happy you are."

Wesley and Angel shared a look. "If you give us the scroll," Wesley said "We will destroy the next artifact. Then she won't be able to get free. We're on your side."

"No!" Wesley and Angel fell to their knees in pain. "Do you think I'm stupid and don't know what you are?! She is swimming in you! You are one of them! Now! Go! Away!"

…

At Buffy's and Dawn's apartment Andrew was trying to figure out how to make the one year old child dressed like a sunflower stop crying. She apparently did not like strangers because every time Andrew tried to feed her or give her a toy she shook her head and threw a little mini tantrum that at first he had found kind of adorable. At first. "Come on sweetie, what's wrong?"

"I do not like that sound."

Andrew turned around and saw Faith, or the thing that had killed Faith he corrected himself in his mind. "How did you get in here? I locked the door!" Andrew looked at the floor and sighed. "Dawn is going to blame me. I swear I locked the door but Dawn is going to-"

"Shut up mortal, your voice bothers me." Andrew shut up. "Sit down."

Andrew sat on the couch with the squirming baby. She continued to wail and thrash while Andrew sat perfectly still and tried to keep his hold on her. "Do you want some tea? Coffee?"

"I want to know if they can make it out on their own. They will call here first to check on the child so I will wait here to find my answers. Continue to care for the child, but do not leave the room or I will do something unpleasant. Maybe to you, maybe to the child, who's to say?"

Andrew swallowed hard and tried some more to shush the child. "Hey Evi, your parents are going to be here soon, so why don't you be good for Uncle Andrew and the scary lady?"

The child's wails increased in volume. "I do not think she likes you." Es said

"Well why don't you try?" Andrew asked before he remembered he was speaking to a super being that he might want to show a bit more respect to. "I mean- That's not what I meant."

Es stepped forward and held out her arms. "Give me the baby."

"That's okay, I've got her."

"Now,"

Andrew handed Evi to Es with great trepidation and was stunned by what happened next as Es transformed back into Faith. Faith sat down in a rocking chair and began to rock while she talked to Evi as though she were an adult. "I know your daddy very well. I know so many things about him. I wanted to tell him something, and then I died. Now he'll never know. But it's all right, I'm in a nice place. Someone I love is here. When I was a little girl I wasn't allowed to cry like you are now. Your daddy wasn't either when he was this age." Es pinched the child on the arm and she began to wail louder. "We got punished. Have you ever been punished Evangeline?"

Andrew stood up. "Stop it."

The thing that looked like Faith didn't even glance at him. "Sit down."

"Okay," He sat down.

"I have seen people do terrible things to children. In this mind I have pictures of people doing awful things. Has anyone ever been awful to you?" Es gripped the girl's shoulders tightly so that she cried harder and harder. "They didn't think I'd come for you did they? They thought you would be safe because I don't kill. But I've seen what broken children become. Each is unique, like a snowflake. Sometimes they die, but often they just grow wrong, twisted."

"Please put her down." Andrew begged

"I keep seeing things. I keep seeing what they did to her. I makes me mad." Evi's wails had reach their highest volume yet. Es handed the baby back to Andrew. "I'm not going to hurt you Evangeline. I wanted to, but she was shouting so loudly and it hurt my ears."

Andrew held the child close to him. "Evi?"

"No, the slayer. She was yelling at me to stop. It hurt my head." Es sat back down and transformed to her previous look. "Do try to stop that racket though won't you?"

…

In the prison her mind had become Faith had her knees pulled up to her chest and her face buried in her knees. She was sobbing and sobbing. A soft hand lighted on her shoulder. "Oh my darling, tell me what is wrong. What upsets you so? Is there anything that I can do?"

"Shut up." Faith twisted her back to dislodge the hand. "Go away you bitch, you hurt that little girl. You hurt her for no reason. I hate you, leave me alone. Don't ever come back here."

"But it's me. It's-"

"You're not! You're not her. You used me to hurt a little girl."

"That was just an illusion, a trick."

"No, you're an illusion. Now go away and leave me alone."

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Yes!"

"Very well," The image of Buffy walked away and with her she took all the colors, sounds, scents, and tastes of Faith's prison. She took the temperature and the texture, leaving Faith with nothing but a dark prison to cry alone in. So Faith did just that.


End file.
